Monday 9/29/14

Posted in Uncategorized on September 29, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s another brand, spanking new week here with the Playboy Morning Show. Let’s roll it out.

Join us in welcoming our new guest host for the week, Jersey-born fitness guru Kenny Santucci! He’s working us out and trying his best to whip us into shape. It’s the second-best way to get the blood flowing in the morning.

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Our first segment today saw us focus in… with a Hot Girl Focus Group. We recently read that your masturbation habits say a lot about your personality, so we thought we’d see if our models’ behavior lined up with who they were. It seems to go along with the research, and their most private moments are when these ladies are the most true to themselves. It’s a beautiful thing.

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After that, we ran through some cardio with What Kenny You Do?, where guest host Kenny Santucci jumped up from behind the desk and guided our ladies through some functional fitness exercises. The fact that they were doing them in high heels only impressed us more. We wouldn’t be able to do squat.

To keep our heart rates up, we played a game called Rear End Zones next, where our girls fielded a snap from Andrea and then ran into the end zone and did their best touchdown celebration dance. You think they’d get flagged for flashing?

We took a short break and then came back with a little Kisstory lesson from our new model Taylor. She told us a story about how she had sex with her boyfriend while he was getting prepped for surgery at the doctor’s office. The best part? Cody and Sarah acted the whole thing out for us. Beats having to use our lazy imaginations, that’s for sure.

We then welcomed in Ryan Rottman, star of the new MTV show “Happyland,” which premieres tomorrow! He talked about the seedy underbelly of the theme park world, and about how the worst part about getting robbed is when they steal your gun.

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Finally, we rounded out the show by playing an amusement park-themed round of Chicktionary. Andrea, Kenny, and Ryan all paired up with a girl and did their best to guess what exactly they were drawing on Sarah’s naked body. We take nude art to the next level.

Thursday 9/25/14

Posted in Uncategorized on September 25, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s another Thursday Morning Show here in the Mini-est of Mansions. Check out our show!

We began with some Mr. Skin nudity action, where he gave us the low-down on some “Simpsons” stars who’ve done nudity in the past, among other things. A lot less yellow than we imagined. Go figure.

After that, we welcomed in Miss October, Roxanna June. You might get those months mixed up, but it’s not really important, the only thing that matters is that she’s here, she’s hot, and she’s ready to try her hand at the Playmate Pick Six. She made history today as the first ever Playmate to go six-for-six, and what a glorious day it was.

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We took a short break and then came back with Nick Stoeberl on Skype, a comedian who was also recently awarded the record for longest tongue on a human being. At a crazy 10.1 cm from tip to lip, it’s a beast to say the least, and has to be seen to be believed. We’ll keep our distance, though.

Finally, we wrapped up our show today by saying goodbye to guest host Lil Duval with a little tribute in the style of one of his music videos, with a segment called Show Me What Dat Mouf Do. Our ladies showed their stuff in three rounds: kissing, deepthroating, and licking. After some tough competition, we decided that it was a three-way tie, because three-ways are always better.

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Wednesday 9/24/14

Posted in Uncategorized on September 24, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Welcome to another Wheel Wednesday here in the Mini Mansion. Let’s take the ol’ girl out for a spin.

Things got going this morning when we took a look at Lil Duval’s pictures that he took from his chair during yesterday’s show. If you’ve ever wondered what our crazy little show looks like from the hosts’ desk, now you know: they’ve definitely got the best seats in the house.

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We also introduced Duval to our Gratuitous Nudity button, which when pressed sends out a girl doing some sort of random activity in the nude. He got a little smash-happy with it, but we’re not complaining.

We then talked via Skype with Holly Polyester, a self-proclaimed Dick-Knitting Granny. That’s right, these Dick-orations she makes by hand (you can find her on Etsy), and are the perfect thing you need to perk up any room in your house. These penises really tie the room together.

Following that, it was time to spot some dildos of our own in a game we call Where’s Dildo? It’s the newest photo fad on the internet and we knew that we’d be in the big leagues, if somebody would only give us a shot! Andrea and Duval showed off their skills and tracked down each and every one of them, leaving none behind.

We took a short break and then came back with a game known simply as Know Your Lil’s. We’ve gotten to know Lil Duval over the past two days, but we wanted to see if he knew some other famous Lil people. He’s actually friends with many of these guys, but not the cat. Sorry, Bub.

Then, our ladies took to the couch to participate in one of our favorite games here on the Morning Show: Name That Alleged Perv! We saw four pictures of (alleged) pervs and then had to try to pin the face to the crime. It’s a lot more subjective than you think, and none of our observations hold up in court, so don’t subpoena us please.

Finally, we took the Wheel out yet again to spin it round and round and act out a fantasy for a lucky caller on the lines. We were lucky enough to see an O-face Off, and a Lap Dance Battle. Andrea and Duval even gave it a spin. Even if you don’t get to spin the wheel, you have to admit: it’s fun to fantasize.

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Tuesday 9/23/14

Posted in Uncategorized on September 23, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Welcome to another fantastic week here in the Mini Mansion. We’ve got Lil’ Duval in the house co-hosting this week, so let’s make him feel at home, shall we?

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We started things off by talking about Duval’s “open” relationship with his girl, and who exactly they’re looking for when they want to get a little three-some action. Here’s a pro tip: talk! If they wanted a blow-up doll, they’d get (another) one.

After that, it was time to dump out the ol’ inbox, with our Fe-Mail! Carrie Lynn helped us read some electronic letters from folks like you and hopefully cleared some things up for all of you out there in TV land. Well, if anything, we just pray we didn’t confuse you even more.

Next, it was time for our Strip Spelling Bee, which they did up in Montreal recently, but we figured we’d re-create it in case you weren’t in that area at that time. It’s a long shot, but we’re going for it. Our models Lisa, Tiana, and Bobbi Dean came in and showed us their moves on the pole while they spelled stripping-related words. These girls really showed us that they could take the competition if it happens next year, and to Duval’s chagrin, they got many words right and remained clothed for a good portion of the game. We’ll just have to turn up the heat later on…

We took a short break and then came back with a little Hot Girl Focus Group, Break-up Edition! We had all of our models sit on the couch and discuss crazy reasons either they’ve broken up with someone, or someone’s broken up with them. It seems unthinkable to want to break up with one of these babes, but as Vince Neil so eloquently sang: sometimes you don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone.

Then, we welcomed in Nicole Byer, comedian from MTV’s “Girl Code.” Nicole came in and let Duval sit on her lap, and it looked like he wanted to do the whole show from there. Maybe next time.

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Nicole stuck around for our next game, the world’s longest-running naked game show: Know It or Show It! Since it’s the first day of autumn, our ladies came into the studio ready to lose their lingerie, but also had some tricks up their leaves…. in the form of leaf pasties. Duval was ready to make this game a more naked affair than earlier in the show and did so with gusto. He’s a natural, it seems.

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Thursday 9/11/14

Posted in Uncategorized on September 11, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s that other day of the week that starts with a T. You know, Thursday. And we’ve got a great show to go through. Let’s do it.

We started the show today, as we have so many Thursdays in the past, with a little phone call from Mr. Skin. We chatted about some upcoming nudity his Skin Scouts have uncovered at the Toronto Film Festival, so keep your eyes open and you won’t be disappointed.

After that, we held a little Hot Girl Focus Group talking about… sex positions. If you’ve ever had the chance to sit four beautiful women down and ask them exactly what they do and don’t want in the bedroom… consider yourself lucky. For the rest of us, this is as good as it’s gonna get, and we have to say, we were pleasantly surprised: there’s no hard and fast favorite across the board… unless you count doing it hard ‘n fast.

In order to put their knowledge of sexual positions to the test, by playing a quick game of Position Impossible. In teams of two, the models tried their best to decipher the names of some rather obscure positions by acting them out. Who won? We all did.

After a quick break, we came back to welcome in Chris Wylde, star of a web series of his own creation called “Dadholes,” all about the pitfalls of being a father. Chris also happens to play a big role in the dance cam during Clippers games here in LA, so we thought we’d play the playboy version of “horse,” B-U-N-N-Y. Our fine females took shots at a hoop, doing their best not to burn down the studio in the process, and if you look at the game from that perspective, it was a great success. They also got naked, so that always helps.

Finally, FOOTBALL IS BACK! It’s like Christmas in September, and Andrea picked the first two games of the Morning Show’s long-standing odds-making segment, Lick ‘Em, Stick ‘Em, and Pick ‘Em. Andrea’s boob went with the Ravens over the Steelers and the 49ers over the Bears, so place your bets accordingly.

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Wednesday 9/10/14

Posted in Uncategorized on September 10, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Smack dab in the middle of the work week, it’s another Playboy Morning Show! Don’t tell your boss…

We started today by talking about yesterday, wherein we asked our hosts and models to tweet out some ridiculous tweets and see who tweeted back. If you don’t understand what Twitter is, that last sentence made zero sense. We took a quick look at some of the best responses to those crazy tweets, which proved more than anything that people are getting harder and harder to shock these days.

Next, we welcomed in Katie and Priscilla, two brand-new-to-our-show models and got to know them a little bit better in a segment we call Hot Model Adoption. If you know of a good home that these girls could go to, please let us know.

After that, we wanted to test our guest host Eddie’s resolve, by playing some Constructive Criticism with him. Our girls read meaner and meaner tweets and comments to him, as they got nuder and nuder. If all judges were this hot and naked, our last prison sentence wouldn’t have stung so bad.

We took a short break and then welcomed in comedian Lachlan Patterson, finalist on the most recent season of “Last Comic Standing,” and as “mannequin”-esque as Keenan Ivory Wayans claimed. He’s a handsome man, is what we’re saying. While Lachlan was with us, we played a game called Named That Bit. It’s not an anatomy lesson, our girls came in and did their best impression of famous stand-up comedians by doing some of their jokes. We wanted to see if they’d be as recognizable in the hands of some hot ladies, and it turns out they definitely are; either that, or these girls should get to an open mic, ASAP.

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Finally, we rounded out the show by playing some Wheel of Fantasy. That’s right, it’s everybody’s favorite wheel-themed game we play here, and today we saw two fantasies in the form of Teacher/Students and a Bikini Car Wash. Learning and cleaning never felt so good.

Tuesday 9/9/14

Posted in Uncategorized on September 9, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Welcome to Tuesday at your titular sexy Morning Show. Here we go again…

The show got going today with one of our favorite games, Truth or Bare! We heard sexy stories from one of our hot models and had to guess who the story belonged to. It’s making us a little paranoid seeing how well some of these ladies can deceive, but we can’t help but immediately forgive them. That is the point, after all.

After that, we talked a bit about the famous celebrity nude photo leak that happened last week, and we got wind of a second wave coming through. Well, the rumors were true, and we have the pictures of Eddie and Andrea to prove it. It may not be as much of a photo leak as it is a photo “shop.”

Next, it was time to run through some Twitter Roulette: a game that features our girls drawing a random (and ludicrous) tweet out of a hat and then having to tweet it out… and leave it up. We’ll check in tomorrow to see how people responded.

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We took a short break and then talked via Skype with two-time World Air Sex Champion Adam Wilson, aka “Tootenanny.” Air sex is a lot like real sex, except you do it with an imaginary partner and on stage in front of a theater full of people. We talked technique, accolades, and prestige of the contest with him, and kept him around to judge our own naked version. We saw three rounds: foreplay, sex, and climax and saw who had the best imagination for the job. We’ve never wanted to be a random clusters of air molecules more.

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