Friday 6/1/12

Happy Friday Everyone!

The big news of the morning was the announcement that Crystal Harris moved back into the mansion and is “back with Hef” again. This led to a discussion about the post-breakup rules, and how staying friends with your exes is always a good move. Kevin said that getting back with an ex is great because you get “old new pussy” or “new old pussy.” He said “it’s like eating your favorite food from a restaurant you haven’t been to in while.”

Congrats to Hef and Crystal.

Kevin and Andrea were gearing up for our 3rd annual Playboy Spelling Bs, Cs, and Double Ds. Andrea refused to try to spell the winning word from The National Spelling Bee, “GUETAPENS” or as Kevin pronounced it “Ghetto Pound.” Andrea better study up this weekend.

 

Robin Leach talked Miss USA bikinis, The closing of The Playboy Club, and our upcoming TOPLESS POOL TOUR. More info coming soon.

The power hour was jam-packed with Playmates, Pirañas, and Phood Trucks (see what we did there). Comedian Adam Ray popped in to chat about his days working as Wolverine at Universal Studios, and his climb up the comedy ladder. He hung out for the week in sex, and stayed for the Playmates.

MissApril 2012, and Miss November 2011 were battling for votes to be The Playmate face of Victory Motorcycles.  Stories of sex on bikes, and the bribery boob flash was just a start. Go to playboy.com/victory contest to vote.

We trucked our face with food from The Wake and Bake Wagon. Fuego sauce “got Andrea wet,” while we sat back and watched Hazel interviewing the cast/director of Phirana 3DD.

 

Then we had our own fun with “dangerous fish” and “dangerously big boobs.”

 

Thursday 5/31/12

Rub and Tugs, Divorce Hotels, Naked Bar-Mates, A Pubic Battle, and Sex Addicts

Born Again Virgins? What a joke.  A reality show is looking for engaged virgins. We didn’t think born again virgins should count because as Kevin put it, “you can just put ‘born again’ in front of anything, and it doesn’t make it so.” Also, how do they cast for this show, with a hymen check? 

Kevin was shocked that a “spa” in Syracuse was busted for being a prostitution ring. He claims that he remembered that “spa” from his college days, but thought it was a real deal spa.  He was upset that he didn’t know what was really going on. 

 

Want to get divorced in style? The Divorce Hotel takes couples who are ready to be single again, and lets them “go out in style.” The GM/Inventor of the hotel says they take care of everything from legal docs to post split celebrations. It’s only in Amsterdam now, but coming soon to a town near you.

Amber Paxton is Playboy’s June BarMATE. She slings booze at The Elevator Drought House in Columbus, Ohio. She loves being naked, having doggy style sex, and says that men have spilled drinks on her on purpose to hit on her. 

The Power Hour:

Mr. Skin joined us for the POWER HOUR before we brought back in our BATTLE OF THE BABES contestants, Cody (landing strip) and Jillisa (No pubic hair), for Round 2 of The Pubic Battle. Last week was a tie so the girl returned to battle it out in a round of physical, mental, and sexual fun. Today they got upside down on THE RACK for the mental round, and ended up light-headed and pantie-less. Once again, the ladies tied, and after a sweet sexual round of girl on girl fun, they will be back here again next week with a 3rd pubic challenger. 

Wednesday 5/30/12

Junk Smelling, Truth or Bare, Wiggle Tests, Erotic Tickling, and Bears. Oh My!

Tosh.0 was more like Playboy Morning Show.2 after he kicked off his new season doing a web redemption for a video that we already redeemed 3 years ago. “Smell Yo Dick” was given a new life again by Mr. Tosh, but Kevin and Andrea brought this song to the mainstream in 2009 by sexing up the video. Take a look at both videos, and you be the judge. 

http://t.co/LmNrMNmx

http://youtu.be/mzyW1QZGNpc

Winner of the Indy500, _____________, was scheduled to call in, but canceled after Kevin and Andrea agreed that men should never pour milk on themselves….NEVER! Guys can pour Gatorade and Champagne only. Girls can pretty much look good pouring anything on themselves (besides Chili).  

The Playboy Adviser joined us to talk about everything from lesbian lust, to ticklish erogenous zones. The theory is that women can’t be turned on and ticklish at the same time. Andrea claims that this is true. 

In today’s erotic edition of FIFTY SHADES OF BLACK, Jaron got our blood boiling with his erotic readings and sexual tips. He taught us that you can call semen ”an eruption of pearly white lava.” We don’t think you should. 

The Power Hour:

Jo Koy came by to hang out for Power Hour, and talk about his upcoming Vegas show. He also showed off his $30,000 gold Rolex. Bring in the Ladies!!!! We were joined by Samantha, Katie, and Lindsey for TRUTH OR BARE. The girls were good liars, and ended up costing Kevin, Andrea  and Jo, lots of money. Unfortunately, they were so good at lying that they only got down to bikinis. BOOOOOOO!!!

Tuesday 5/29

Lesbian Utopia, Masturbate-a-thons, Depraved Girls, and Sexy Skypenger Hunt. 

How do you recover from a three-day-weekend of drinking, grilling, and swimming? With us, silly. Andrea spent her weekend getting hit on by “older women.” After taking erotic pictures of each other at a house party, Andrea was getting hit on from every direction by “drunk horny women.” Lucky her. 

After catching up on their weekend antics, Kevin and Andrea chatted with Scott Alexander about Xbox rumors, Facebook Phones, and all other cool things that The Amish hate. 

Turns out that Women hit their sexual peak at 28, and guys hit it at 33. This lead to a discussion about what is a sexual peak, and how is it judged; quality or quantity? 

Women like sex as much as guys…maybe more. The Girls Guide to Depravity teaches women to be sexually liberated and think like men. Tips include “If There’s a Pill There’s a way.” and “Have a Magical Pussy.” 

 

Goon Naked/ Bad Naked was full of nudity, including genital flashing graduates, naked man face eaters, and drunk junk grabbers. 

 

The 12th Annual Master-Bate-A-Thon took place over the weekend. Didn’t participate? You still have the rest of May to celebrate National Masturbation Month.  At this years festivities, two world records were broken; one for speed, and one for distance. 

 The Power Hour:

The power hour began with Joy Glass Sexy Skype-ing, and hiding cupcakes in her panties. Then we filled Andrea’s Hole, before creating a Lesbian Utopia with  @SherraMichelle, @MissRachelShine & @GabbyNena based on the Angry Pastor’s anti-gay sermon. 

After building a fence, and filling with pillows, blankets, and lesbians, we added food, and a very special Lesbian Birthday Pie for our 21-year-old lesbian. Thanks Pastor Worley. Great Idea. 

Monday Car…Toon-Up!

Time to show us what you’ve got!

Give us your best caption for the cartoon below, found in the June 2012 issue of Playboy magazine.

Friday 5/25/12

Henry Rollins, Girl on Girl Cock Fighting, Casino Robberies, Memorial Day Pool Parties, and Fried Chicken. 

Andrea has gone overboard celebrating National Masturbation Month. Two times yesterday? She explained that she will give herself the “wiggle test” to see if she is ready to “go again.” She explained that using two fingers, she’ll wiggle herself to determine if she’s either too tender or ready for round two. Kevin was fascinated by this.

 

We chatted with “Mr. Las Vegas,” Robin Leach, about the recent robbery attempt at The Bellagio. He told us that Vegas Casino robberies are rare, and that even attempting it can result in life in prison. Kevin and Andrea contemplated how they would rob one when in Vegas for the upcoming Topless Pool Tour. 

 

Speaking of Casinos, we spoke with the author of the Playboy article, The Underground Casinos of Paris, about the members-only casinos in Paris, France. Legal or not, they sound like a good time. 

 Before TRUCKING OUR FACE with food from The Ludo Truck,  Henry Rollins joined us to talk about his new show on Nat Geo Wild, Animal Underground. He drank snake bile, cow urine, and went to cock fights. We tried to turn cock-fighting into a sexy competition by having naked girls covered with balloons attempt to peck the balloons off of one another. Henry Rollins said it was one of the more ridiculous things he’d seen. We’ll let you be the judge. 

Andrea ended the show by giving a topless salute to our troops, and introduced her new move, The Topless Grenade Launcher. Have a great Memorial Day Weekend!

Thursday 5/24/12

This morning we spoke with Kerri Dobson, a woman who collected twenty-one post-sex mementos! Kerri shared her thoughts on why she liked to keep these mementos after her sexual experiences with her men. Check out lovesceneonline.com where she also writes her stories.

In the new June 2012 issue of Playboy, Pat Jordan the author of “Armed and Dangerous” told us he is packing heat 24/7. Pat tests the limits of open-carry laws in towns near Atlanta, but according to him, the new spin on gun control is uncomfortable.

After giving Producer Gina many clues on what “Skee-Ball” is, Eric Pavony the co- founder of BrewskeeBall gave her a better explanation! He started BrewskeeBall, the first-ever national skee-ball league and owns Full Circle Bar, the league’s national home in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. He created The BEEB, an obscure sports festival taking place this Memorial Day Weekend to take the childhood game of skee-ball to an unprecedented and unthinkable stage. Now Gina wants to play!

The Power Hour:

We kicked off the Power Hour with Mr. Skin as he shared which TV Series has the most nudity! “Magic City” was rated to have the most nude scenes of 2012!

Jay Larson entered the Mini- Mansion today for some fun. He will also be at The Laugh Factory at 10PM for Laughs, Camera, Action!  If you are in town go see him tonight! While he is awake he is usually telling jokes to other human beings, sometimes they are in the form of an audience, sometimes they are just random people, but he is always making people laugh.

Jaron made his Fifty Shades of Black TV debut today! Kevin and Andrea were disappointed with his sex tip of the day.

We ended the show with a sexy Battle of the Babes Pubic Showdown! Returning champion Cody Cameron’s landing strip took on Jillisa Lynn’s shaved Ladyland! Round one was pretty physical when Jillisa and Cody had a hula hoop competition. Cody had some major hula hooping skills she showed off. Round two, Jillisa and Cody had 11 seconds to answer questions while jumping on a trampoline. It was a tie!

Stay tuned for Battle of the Babes next Thursday!