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Thursday 11/20/14

Posted in Uncategorized on November 20, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s a Thanksgiving spectacular here in the Mini Mansion. We know it’s next week, but we’ll be off the air then, so you get your first serving of all of your holiday favorites a week early! With a side of naked ladies.

We started things today with our first Gobble Game, Butter Races! Drew and Katie sat on the couch and tried their best to melt some butter with only their body heat, and see who could get it all the way down to their panties first. I can’t believe it’s butter!

After that, we talked on the phone with Mr. Skin to tell us about all the celeb nudity of the week, including some choice scenes in the new “Sin City” movie, and Margaret Cho’s tattooed body. Check out his site for a whole mess of tattooed (and blank) ladies.

Our next Gobble Game happened to be Pumpkin Pie Diving! Jaclyn and Tania each tried their hand (or, face) at eating a pie using only their mouths. Andrea provided the orgasmic soundtrack as each lady took their turn, and somehow managed to make pie more sexy than it ever was before. And, let’s be real, pie was already pretty damn sexy.

Next, we welcomed in Bill and Tom Kaulitz, twin brothers from the band Tokio Hotel. They’re huge over in Europe and starting to make a name for themselves over here in the states, so be sure to keep your eye on them. People just might think you’re something of a taste-maker.

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We kept them in to judge our next Gobble Game, the Pilgrim Pole Dance! Each of our models came in the studio, dressed in their very own pilgrim garb and stripped on the pole for us. If only the original Pilgrims could see us now… Nothing pure about our Puritans.

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We took a short break and then welcomed in Chad Braverman of Doc Johnson sex toys. Doc Johnson has a plethora of amazing gadgets, gizmos, and what-ever-else to ensure that you and your partner get the most out of your intimate times together. Men and women need to give their site a once-over (Christmas is right around the corner, people).

While Chad was in studio, we had him judge some of our home-made sex toys in a segment we’re calling Spank Tank! Turns out that Chad can’t say no to anything with a fanny pack, so start sending those ideas his way.

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To close out our special Thanksgiving feast for the eyes, we enjoyed our last Gobble Game as dessert: Gravy Wrestling! What’s sexier than two girls going toe-to-toe in a tiny ring full of gravy? We honestly can’t think of anything right now. See you after our break, and have a great Thanksgiving!

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Wednesday 11/19/14

Posted in Uncategorized on November 19, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s Wednesdsay, a.k.a. the ass-crack of the week, splitting it between two cushy weekends, and we had a great show to help you separate…

We started things off today with a little Horny History lesson, in honor of Thanksgiving, which is right around the corner. Our hot teacher Mrs. Lipps came in to give us the real-deal talk about how the first Thanksgiving went down. As with most historical holidays, you should take this story with a grain of salt (or more, it is Thanksgiving after all).

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We continued to Give Thanks here at the Morning Show, today hearing from both Andrea and hot model Carly Lucy, who were thankful for things like: the invention of the thong, Asian men, and Carly’s firm, natural breasts. Amen!

After that, we mourned the loss of the creator of the “Choose Your Own Adventure” books, and honored him with our own Choose Your Own Ass-venture, which saw Ashley leading Juliet and Bobbi Dean on a mythical quest to reclaim their gold. They may have lost their clothes along the way, but they gained our admiration. They can clothe themselves in that.

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After a short break, we played a traditional Thanksgiving game here at the Playboy Morning Show, Turkey or Jerky! We saw an uber-closeup and we had to guess whether it was a hot girl or a turkey. On a related note, we’d like to remind everyone to always wear protection when handling raw meat.

Then we welcomed in our guest for the day, Youtube sensation and rapper extraordinaire Timothy DeLaGhetto. Timothy gave out some secrets to being a Youtube star, what it’s like to travel and talk on panels, and even took a video of his own. Check out his channel and see if you see any familiar faces.

Finally, we spun around our Wheel of Fantasy, Thanksgiving edition, and saw things like Horn on the Cob, Rack Friday, and a Twerk-ey. Gobble gobble, ya’ll.

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Tuesday 11/18/14

Posted in Uncategorized on November 18, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Don’t get down about that chill in the air, it’s what keeps our nipples nice and hard!

We started the show off this morning with another Giving Thanks moment, this time with Lisa showing her gratefullness for her full breasts. As somebody who had their bust enhanced, she can truly be thankful, because she’s knows what it’s like to live without.

Next, we looked through Bono’s bag that recently fell out of his airplane. That’s right, we have it, and don’t believe anybody who tells ya different, ya hear? One thing is abundantly clear: that guy sure loves himeself.

Following the bag examination, we played a fun little game called Dan Cummins Inside of You, in honor of our host Dan Cummins. It only took us two days to utilize his name, and frankly we’re surprised it lasted this long. Anyway, our ladies came in and were tested on whether or not they’ve done the same sexual things he has. Don’t let the beard fool you, Dan and these gals are more similar than you’d think.

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We had anther Giving Thanks before we went to break, this time featuring Destiny talking about her skinny cat or something. Or maybe it was tight pussy. Either way, that’s a strange thing to be thankful for, but to each their own. On an unrelated note, I don’t understand euphemisms.

We came back from break to honor that most sacred of Thanksgiving traditions: hand turkeys. In a segment called Spanksgiving, our girls slapped some ass and did some art, making their creations come to life. That’s one turkey that’ll make you wanna jerky. (I’m so sorry).

Then, we welcomed in Zane Lamprey, from the new NatGeo show “Chug,” where he gets to travel the world and try different exotic alcoholic drinks. Sounds like we have a contender for “Who’s Got the Best Job?”, against us here at the Playboy Morning Show. Maybe we should join forces…

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Finally, Zane stepped out and we played a game in his honor called Chugs and Juggs, where one girl is blindfolded and is fed drinks by a girl acting as her arms. These drinks are from all over the world, so it’s like around the world in 5 pints. Bottoms up!

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Monday 11/17/14

Posted in Uncategorized on November 17, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Welcome to a fresh week here in the Mini Mansion. We’ve got just the thing to whet your appetite as we wait for Thanksgiving to get here: some breasts and thighs of our own.

We began the show with a whole new guest host, Dan Cummins. He’s got a name that’s built for our show, and we welcome him with open arms.

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Things got a little thankful early on, as we sent in Veronica for the first of our Giving Thanks segments. We don’t really remember what she was thankful for, but we know we appreciate her tassels and we’re grateful she wore them today.

After that, we brought out some items from the upcoming Marilyn Monroe auction that we got our hands on early. Things like a jar of Marilyn’s breath, a bug she squashed, and even a doorknob she used. If you have millions of dollars burning a hole in your gold-lined pocket, give us a call. We need the scratch.

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In honor of one of history’s great beauties, we played a Marilyn-themed Fandemonium, with our girls answering trivia about the famous blonde bombshell and even recreating her famous dress-blowing incident if they got it wrong. It’s our skirts up salute!

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Cody came in to continue our Giving Thanks, this time bringing up her toys (and anal beads!). Maybe don’t bring up this one at your family’s dinner table.

We took a short break and then came back to do a Lick ‘em, Stick ‘em, and Pick ‘em re-cap. Andrea didn’t do so hot, going 2/5 and she shamed her boobs accordingly. It’s not something we enjoyed watching. Hopefully she does better tonight, as she picked the Steelers to top the Titans on Monday Night Football. We shudder to think what the discipline could be if her boob is wrong again…

We then welcomed in Jamie Kaler, host of the new American Heroes Channel show “America: Facts vs. Fiction.” Jamie told us about his work on the show (he informed us that he does indeed appear on camera), and he and Dan went off the euphemism deep end right before our eyes. It was something to behold.

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Our ladies came in to play a quick round of Rack vs. Fiction, where they would have to flash their right boobs if they thought a story was false, and their left ones if they thought it was true. We’ve never wanted half-truths more in our lives.

Finally, in our last Giving Thanks, we turned to Dan, who thanked his balls for all the joy they have given him over the years. He said goodbye this weekend to his old friends (he got a vasectomy), and we paid a touching tribute as our girls waved goodbye. Ball voyage!

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Thursday 11/13/14

Posted in Uncategorized on November 13, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s Thursday, and we had a kick-ass show for you today. Let’s get to it…

Things got started this morning when we landed our Morning Show outer space probe (not to be confused with our other probe) on the surface of a comet! We’re the first people to send hot chicks to a big ball of rock, ice, and dust that’s hurtling through the galaxy. And what better way to celebrate than to take some selfies and send them back to Earth? You know, for, like, study.

After that, we talked on the phone with Mr. Skin, who had a plethora of celebrity nudity to show us. From Kim Kardashian to Keira Knightly, it was a good week to get naked and have the initials K.K., so be sure to check out his website for more info (and pics, we suppose).

Next, we wanted to test our guest host Rich’s skills with wordplay, in a segment called One-Hundred-One. Our girls gave him body parts and other sexual words and he had to come up with a pun right off the top of his head. Try this out on a first date, if you never wanna have a second one.

Following the joke-fest, we brought our girls to the couch to play Show and Tell, where they saw pictures of things and then told how they would implement them in the bedroom. How would you use a sandwich in bed? Let us know! Address a sealed sandwich (in a bag) to 123 Playboy Rd, Burbank CA and let your voice be heard!

Then, it was time to get enrolled in some Ass Class. You can’t sit down in this class, because we had to learn all about the butt. We saw what kind of panties make good bottoms better, and what positions get the most attention for your backside. But it wouldn’t be class if you didn’t have to show your twerk, because if there’s one thing we can’t stand, it’s cheaters.

We took a short break and then came back to play some Horse or Porn, in honor of the fall season of horse racing getting underway. Our ladies jumped in the saddle and guessed whether a name was the title of a porn film, or the name of a racing horse. It’s a lot harder than you think.

Next, it was time for some Skin to Win, where our ladies locked in their trivia answers by flashing a body part. Jeopardy would be a lot more interesting if that’s how their buzzers worked.

Finally, we came to this week’s titty picks in Lick ‘em, Stick ‘em, and Pick ‘em. Andrea likes the Bills tonight, and the Cards, Seahawks, and Packers this weekend. Tune in Monday to see how she did!

Wednesday 11/12/14

Posted in Uncategorized on November 12, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Plant your feet firmly in the middle of this week and straddle past and future: one weekend looms on the horizon, while another, slowly fades from memory… Whoa. Sorry about that. That’s the last time we eat old Halloween candy from strangers.

Anyway, the first thing we did on the Playboy Morning Show today was literally watch paint dry. No joke. We really CAN make anything interesting. But we can’t take all the credit, what with Lisa’s glorious body acting as our painting surface. Remember, when painting a hot chick: primer and lacquer.

After that, we celebrated Comedy Central allowing the word “pussy” to air on its channel now. Good for them, we’ve been saying it for years (but who’s counting?). Since they no longer have to use euphemisms to describe lady bits, we wanted to see how many words we could come up with, in a game we’re callling Sin-onyms. Our girls battled back and forth in a game that would make a Thesaurus proud, removing clothes every time their linguistic trains ran out of track. We actually learned a few new words today!

Next, we welcomed in David Walton, star of NBC’s “About a Boy,” which is currently in its second season. David talked about working on a show that’s made it past 13 episodes (congrats to him!), and about how his article in the latest issue of Playboy prompted his mom to buy all the copies at a local store. Somewhere, a store’s shelves are out of Playboy, and a dove is crying. Probably.

After a break, we came back to welcome in Ian Halvie, star of the new Amazon Prime show “Transparent,” and also the first (to our knowledge) trans guest we’ve had on the show. Ian is FTM (female to male, or “a dude with a vag” as he says), and can grow a beard better than most. We won’t lie and say we’re not jealous. He talked about his show and how he thinks that trans people finally have an accurate representation of them in media.

While he was in, we played a quick round of Two Tits and a Lie, wherein our girls came out with their boobs out and had to tell two truths and then one lie. After a round of guessing, they each revealed their lies (and their lying abilities), making us wonder if we can trust any of them after this point…

Finally, it’s Wednesday, and that means we took the Wheel of Fantasy out, dusted it off, and gave it a few spins, all for the viewing pleasure of people at home. You’re welcome.

Tuesday 11/11/14

Posted in Uncategorized on November 11, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Well, it’s Tuesday. We’re gonna go ahead and suggest that you buy as many googly-eyes as you can and put them on things all over your place of employment. It really livens up the place. Trust us.

We got things going this morning with a little report on the upcoming forecast in a segment we’re calling Weather or Not?. We had our very own “Windy Cindy” give us the low-down on Polar Vortex 2.0 that’s currently taking the Midwest and Northeast by storm. Literally. Then, just to rub it in, we showed California’s three-day forecast. It’s not fair, is it?

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After that, we welcomed in Miss November Gia Marie, the natural redhead and 60’s-style spread in the latest issue of our magazine. Gia talked with us about her budding relationship (bummer, right?) and about her recent trip to the Mansion for Halloween.

While Gia was in with us, we wanted to test her Playmate skills, so we ran her through our Playmate Pick Six, with the help of Amber and little pieces of paper with mustaches on the, in honor of Mo-vember. She played well, earning a perfect six-for-six, and placing her in the pantheon of pristine Playmates for all of time. Talk about hallowed halls.

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We took a short break and then honored those who have served our country (it is Veteran’s Day, after all) the only way we know how… with titties! We ran our girls through a Bootie Camp training session, and we’ve never wanted to be a drill sergeant more. We’d drop and give them 20.

Then we brought in Leigh Whannell and Angus Sampson from the new film “The Mule,” which you should definitely check out on iTunes. These guys brought their love of all things horror (they’ve done things like “Insidious” and “Saw” that you may have heard of), and a twisted sense of humor to really bring this story to life. Just, maybe make sure you go to the bathroom before you watch it.

Finally, we closed out the show with the world’s longest-running naked game show, Know It or Show It! Our girls came in and gave it their all to answer questions about drugs, animals, and saws (oh my!), but they were no match for our potent questions and had to strip. Long live the game of kings.

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