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Monday 10/6/14

Posted in Uncategorized on October 6, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s the Playboy Morning Show, helping you get up twice in the morning since 2006.

We began this fresh week by welcoming in our fresh guest host, Ryan Stout. Ryan’s background is in stand-up comedy and he’s a regular on “Chelsea Lately,” so we can’t wait to put his quick wits up against our models’ nice tits.

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The first little game we rocked this morning is called Who Would You Do? Halloween edition, wherein our sexy girls tell us which monster out of a pair that they’d rather sleep with. Logic plays a key role here, and maybe these monsters wouldn’t be so scary if they got a little lovin’. Just saying.

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After that we talked via Skype with Ali B, one of our hot models from Playboy’s “Girls of the ACC” pictorial. She’s repping Syracuse and her picture features her atop a gigantic pile of oranges, which she told us she actually got to take home after her shoot. We’ve always recommended getting your daily vitamin O.

Next up was Howe To with the  Howe Twins. Since the college issue of Playboy just dropped, we figured we have them teach us how to build some furniture for the dorm room you invariably inhabit your first year. A word to the wise: actually screw the legs into the table, especially in Southern California. Propping it up against a wall or bed only goes so far.

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We took a short break and then came back to feature our ladies reading some poetry they’d written, all about their favorite F-Words. These hip cats earned some snaps with their beatnik antics, and may have a real talent for word-smithing if this modeling thing ever falls through. Let’s hope to God it doesn’t.

 

Finally, we wrapped up the show by playing No Strings Attached. Ali Rose and Miranda were tied together and the Howe Twins were as well, putting their heads together and trying not to step too far apart. Good news is, those bikini strings pull off no matter what. They’re the true heroes of the morning.

Thursday 10/2/14

Posted in Uncategorized on October 2, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s the end of our week here in the Mini Mansion, but don’t let that get you down! We still had an amazing show to send you away with…

We got things going this morning, as we have so many Thursdays here in the past: with Mr. Skin dropping a line. And we’re not talking about those terrible puns he loves so much. Skin let us know the haps around the world of celebrity nudity, and showed us some pics to boot. TV is really embracing the nudity thing, and we have to say, we’d like to pat ourselves on the back for showing them the way.

After that, we played a quick round of Ebowling, the hilarious game named after the infectious disease. There’s no connection between the outbreak and this game, we just thought the name was funny. Our models Lisa, Drew, Kat, and Ashley came in and rolled the ball, trying to knock down all the pins. Any leftover meant that they had to remove that article of clothing. Not that it mattered, as they pretty much all lost all their clothes right away. Get these ladies some bumpers.

We then welcomed in funnyman Gilbert Gottfried! Gilbert regaled us with tales of his Playboy article and told us about his podcast, which you should definitely check out. The man’s a legend.

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We took a short break, and let Gilbert go into the hallway to teach some of our ladies some jokes. While he was giving them the funny, we brought in Cassie Scerbo, actress from the new show “Bad Judge.” Cassie gave us the low-down on what it’s like being a Hollywood hottie, and we thank her for that. We can only imagine. She’s also an anti-bullying leader, which only makes us love her more.

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Gilbert and the girls were ready at that point, and took to the stage after a rather enthusiastic introduction from their (obviously very proud) coach. It just goes to show that you don’t need to know someone’s name to introduce them as long as you have confidence. The girls told some jokes and clearly took his teachings to heart, eliciting giggles from Cassie and our hosts. Although that may have been more at Gilbert than anything.

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Finally, we rounded out our show with a little game we’re calling Kiss and Tell, where our girls hear the name of a kissing style and then have to do their best to show us what they think it is. It’s called Kiss and Tell because they kiss and you can tell it’s super hot.

Thanks to Kenny Santucci for guest hosting for us this week, we’ll see you on the flip. DEUCES.

Wednesday 10/1/14

Posted in Uncategorized on October 1, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s the beginning of October, and we can’t contain our excitement for our favorite holiday, Halloween! The other ones just don’t have as good of excuses to dress sexily.

We started things off today by welcoming in Lauren and Veronica, who would be our pumpkin-carving models today. They shared their experience (Veronica once won a contest, and Lauren usually sticks with the standard jack-o-lantern), and then we welcomed in Doug Goodreau, who’s a professional pumpkin carver. He schooled us in his various techniques, and then the pulp started to fly.

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As that was going on, we brought in Danielle and Juliette to participate in our traditional Wednesday game, Wheel of Fantasy! We solicited some calls and then tried our best to make their fantasies come alive. Put the emphasis in that last phrase wherever you want.

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We took a short break and then checked out the pumpkin masterpieces. We gotta say, Doug is a great teacher, because these ladies really made those lanterns pop. Oh, and Doug’s wasn’t too shabby either.

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After that, we talked via Skype with Mathias Kaer, a restaurant owner from Copenhagen who has started giving out dildos with his burgers. His spot is apparently like Hooters in Denmark, and we have to say we think that his idea makes him one Great Dane.

In our next game, Walk of Shame, our ladies started out blindfolded on our bed and had to trek across the studio in order to find their clothes. This is all in honor of our college issue, which you should definitely get your hands on ASAP. We’ll be having some of those lovely ladies come by the studio in the coming weeks, so prepare yourselves for that, too. Class is in session.

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Finally, our ladies ran over to our showers, which we converted into a genuine pumpkin-smashing arena to watch all of the girls’ hard work go to waste. Sure was fun to watch, though.

Tuesday 9/30/14

Posted in Uncategorized on September 30, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

We’re having a Technical Difficulty Tuesday here in the Mini Mansion, but our hosts are professionals and know how to handle any bumps in the road: Gratuitous Nudity! We should have a show like this every day.

Things got going this particular morning when we chatted with brand-new model Dorothy. She enlightened us on what exactly a “slime fetish” is, and then we initiated her with a quick-change challenge. We all learned an important lesson here today: watch your heels.

After that, we welcomed in Josh Thomas, star of the show “Please Like Me” on Pivot.tv. This Aussie-born comedian told us about his semi-autobiographical show, and what it’s like now that his life IS the show.

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We kept him around and welcomed in our ladies to play a game called Dick Pics, where we see a photo of something that looks like a dick, but isn’t, and then make our best funny caption for it. It relies on wits, cunning, and a very immature sense of humor. We call it the big three.

In lieu of a break, we hit the Gratuitous Nudity button and let our ladies run wild here in the studio. All hail the mighty button!

Next, we ran through a quick round of Song Tit-les, where our sexy models acted out popular songs and Andrea and guest host for the week Kenny had to guess what they were. These ladies did a pretty good job, considering these songs are nearly half a century older than they are.

Then we welcomed in Jon Braver, creator of “Delusion,” which is an interactive spooky play that weaves the audience into the story. It ain’t your Grandma’s Haunted House. Although, that does sound pretty scary.

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Since Jon was here with us, we put a scary twist on Know It or Show It, by having our girls don masks, as well as their sexy lingerie. It got us excited and scared at the same time. As long as the heart’s pumping, that’s a good thing.

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Monday 9/29/14

Posted in Uncategorized on September 29, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s another brand, spanking new week here with the Playboy Morning Show. Let’s roll it out.

Join us in welcoming our new guest host for the week, Jersey-born fitness guru Kenny Santucci! He’s working us out and trying his best to whip us into shape. It’s the second-best way to get the blood flowing in the morning.

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Our first segment today saw us focus in… with a Hot Girl Focus Group. We recently read that your masturbation habits say a lot about your personality, so we thought we’d see if our models’ behavior lined up with who they were. It seems to go along with the research, and their most private moments are when these ladies are the most true to themselves. It’s a beautiful thing.

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After that, we ran through some cardio with What Kenny You Do?, where guest host Kenny Santucci jumped up from behind the desk and guided our ladies through some functional fitness exercises. The fact that they were doing them in high heels only impressed us more. We wouldn’t be able to do squat.

To keep our heart rates up, we played a game called Rear End Zones next, where our girls fielded a snap from Andrea and then ran into the end zone and did their best touchdown celebration dance. You think they’d get flagged for flashing?

We took a short break and then came back with a little Kisstory lesson from our new model Taylor. She told us a story about how she had sex with her boyfriend while he was getting prepped for surgery at the doctor’s office. The best part? Cody and Sarah acted the whole thing out for us. Beats having to use our lazy imaginations, that’s for sure.

We then welcomed in Ryan Rottman, star of the new MTV show “Happyland,” which premieres tomorrow! He talked about the seedy underbelly of the theme park world, and about how the worst part about getting robbed is when they steal your gun.

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Finally, we rounded out the show by playing an amusement park-themed round of Chicktionary. Andrea, Kenny, and Ryan all paired up with a girl and did their best to guess what exactly they were drawing on Sarah’s naked body. We take nude art to the next level.

Thursday 9/25/14

Posted in Uncategorized on September 25, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s another Thursday Morning Show here in the Mini-est of Mansions. Check out our show!

We began with some Mr. Skin nudity action, where he gave us the low-down on some “Simpsons” stars who’ve done nudity in the past, among other things. A lot less yellow than we imagined. Go figure.

After that, we welcomed in Miss October, Roxanna June. You might get those months mixed up, but it’s not really important, the only thing that matters is that she’s here, she’s hot, and she’s ready to try her hand at the Playmate Pick Six. She made history today as the first ever Playmate to go six-for-six, and what a glorious day it was.

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We took a short break and then came back with Nick Stoeberl on Skype, a comedian who was also recently awarded the record for longest tongue on a human being. At a crazy 10.1 cm from tip to lip, it’s a beast to say the least, and has to be seen to be believed. We’ll keep our distance, though.

Finally, we wrapped up our show today by saying goodbye to guest host Lil Duval with a little tribute in the style of one of his music videos, with a segment called Show Me What Dat Mouf Do. Our ladies showed their stuff in three rounds: kissing, deepthroating, and licking. After some tough competition, we decided that it was a three-way tie, because three-ways are always better.

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Wednesday 9/24/14

Posted in Uncategorized on September 24, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Welcome to another Wheel Wednesday here in the Mini Mansion. Let’s take the ol’ girl out for a spin.

Things got going this morning when we took a look at Lil Duval’s pictures that he took from his chair during yesterday’s show. If you’ve ever wondered what our crazy little show looks like from the hosts’ desk, now you know: they’ve definitely got the best seats in the house.

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We also introduced Duval to our Gratuitous Nudity button, which when pressed sends out a girl doing some sort of random activity in the nude. He got a little smash-happy with it, but we’re not complaining.

We then talked via Skype with Holly Polyester, a self-proclaimed Dick-Knitting Granny. That’s right, these Dick-orations she makes by hand (you can find her on Etsy), and are the perfect thing you need to perk up any room in your house. These penises really tie the room together.

Following that, it was time to spot some dildos of our own in a game we call Where’s Dildo? It’s the newest photo fad on the internet and we knew that we’d be in the big leagues, if somebody would only give us a shot! Andrea and Duval showed off their skills and tracked down each and every one of them, leaving none behind.

We took a short break and then came back with a game known simply as Know Your Lil’s. We’ve gotten to know Lil Duval over the past two days, but we wanted to see if he knew some other famous Lil people. He’s actually friends with many of these guys, but not the cat. Sorry, Bub.

Then, our ladies took to the couch to participate in one of our favorite games here on the Morning Show: Name That Alleged Perv! We saw four pictures of (alleged) pervs and then had to try to pin the face to the crime. It’s a lot more subjective than you think, and none of our observations hold up in court, so don’t subpoena us please.

Finally, we took the Wheel out yet again to spin it round and round and act out a fantasy for a lucky caller on the lines. We were lucky enough to see an O-face Off, and a Lap Dance Battle. Andrea and Duval even gave it a spin. Even if you don’t get to spin the wheel, you have to admit: it’s fun to fantasize.

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