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Thursday 12/4/14

Posted in Uncategorized on December 4, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Hello there! It’s a fine, frosty Thursday here in the Mini Mansion, so you may have to get out your scraper this morning…

We began things by showing off your winning captions for our Christmas Cartoon. Andrea even got hers in there! We also had our models come in and try their hand at it, right off the tops of their heads. They were surprisingly good at it, proving once again that comic writers are actually a bunch of hot chicks. We knew it!

Next, we talked to Mr. Skin, who had his top 10 best nude scenes of the year all ready for us. Christmas came a little early here, as we checked out some of the all-year best naked scenes on everything from “True Detective” to “Game of Thrones.” Gotta love HBO, man.

After that, it was time for one of our favorite games, Lesbian Chicken: Baseball edition! In honor of the umpire who just came out of the closet, our girls took swings at each other as they tried to round the bases while the other girl guarded her plate. They’re OUT (of the closet).

We took a short break and then came back to open another sexy door on our Ass-vent Calendar! Number 4 had in store for us some Snow Angels. We watched our girls take to the floor and spread wide… before coming back in. That’s just a description of making a snow angel, but it’s still hot as hell. Damn. Never realized that before.

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We welcomed in Frenchy Morgan, who took her own time in our snow pile before joining us on the couch. She’s a reality star with a new song entitled “I Want To Get Naked,” that she wrote herself! We love her spunk and pink outfit, but we wanted to test how naked she really wanted to get. So, we played a game (appropriately) called I Want to Get Naked, where our girls came in dressed as various French stereotypes to say whether they had done something. They got naked pretty quick, along with Frenchy, Dan, and Andrea! Frenchy’s infectious personality bubbled over into everyone today, making everyone say “I Want to Get Naked.” Let’s spread this message to the world.

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Wednesday 12/3/14

Posted in Uncategorized on December 3, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Hump Day! We had a Wonderful Wheel Wednesday in store for you, so let’s give this a whirl.

The show got started this morning with a discussion about aural pleasure. Not the type with your mouth, but with your “aura,” which some people recently linked to a positive sex life. At first, we thought it was about sex in Acuras, but were disappointed to learn the truth.

After that, we announced our Playboy Christmas Cartoon Caption-Off, where you can put your wits to the test by captioning one of our show’s Chrismtas Cartoon homages. Check it out on Twitter, and give it your best shot. We may just put it on the show (if it tickles our fancy, among other things).

Next, we checked another box on our Ass-vent Calendar, this time revealing some sexy carolers! Our girls sang the Playboy version of the “12 Days of Christmas” and stripped while they did it. It almost made that horrible, long song worth it… Almost.

Our fabulous guest host Dan then walked us through 3 Man Things, that all men should know. Ironing a shirt, tying a tie, and how not to give a bad handshake all were covered in great detail, so now you can meet your girlfriend’s parents with poise, grace, and confidence. Just remember to not bring up the fact that you’re banging their daughter.

It is Wednesday. That means Wheel. But you don’t have to be a caveman to enjoy something like this week’s Wheel of Fantasy, which was all Winter-themed. We saw some Snow-y Plowing and Wrapping Paper-kinis that are sure to get you in the spirit. Which spirit? I don’t know. Christmas, maybe. You’ll definitely be spirited, that’s for sure.

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We took a short break and then welcomed in Rick Rosner, the 2nd-Smartest Man in the World, who went back to high school for 10 years! Not because they made him, like with us, but because he wanted to. Alright, alright, alright. We wanted to test Rick’s smarts, so we pitted him against all four of our girls to give it a fair balance. Turns out the Playboy IQ test is a little different than the standard, and our girls held their own. The game ended in a tie, proving once and for all that our models are the brightest in the biz.

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Tuesday 12/2/14

Posted in Uncategorized on December 2, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Well, well, well… What have we here? Oh. It’s just the Playboy Morning Show. Carry on.

This crazy lil’ show got going this morning with a lengthy discussion about beards with our guest host for the week, the fabulously-bearded Dan Cummins. They’re all the rage from CEO’s to the lowliest hipster trust fund baby, which makes it officially a trend. It’s nice when men can turn their laziness into a style, like just-getting-out-of-bed hair and smelling-like-a-car.

After that, we checked out some road signs that are apparently pretty easy to hack into, resulting in hilarious and juvenile messages for all drivers on the road to see. It really livens up sitting in one lane of traffic for four hours.

Next, we opened another door on our gigantic Ass-vent Calendar, today revealing a snowy surprise… Yes, we decorated the lovely Mariela as a snow-girl, and we have to say, if googly eyes don’t catch on this year, we will be shocked.

After that, we welcomed in Nikki Lund, whose new song “This Is It” is out now. Nikki talked about dating Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora, and officially announced… that he has a nice dick. You heard it here first, folks! While Nikki was with us, we played a game in her honor called “This Is Tit?” where we see a zoomed-in picture and have to guess whether or not it is a tit. Nikki was very good at this game, hopefully, she’ll be adding “boob expert” to her resume.

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We took a break and came back to welcome in Mo Mandel, host of the new TruTV show “Barmageddon,” which is like ‘Wife Swap,’ but for bars. Now if only they can make a Bar/Wife Swap show, we’ll really be golden. Mo talked about the show, and what it’s like to be the center of attention, drink for free, and travel around the country meeting different hot chicks. Some guys have it all.

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Finally, we wrapped up our show with a beer-themed Know It or Show It, where our ladies wore beer cans, bottles, and glasses in lieu of lingerie. No need for beer goggles here.

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Monday 12/1/14

Posted in Uncategorized on December 1, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy December, Playboy Morning Show Friends! Crazy to think that the year is already winding down. Seems like just yesterday we were getting drunk to ring in 2014. I mean, we WERE getting drunk yesterday, but for different reasons…

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Anyway, we hope you had a great Thanksgiving. We wanted to share our leftovers with you, so we re-did some of our favorite Gobble Games from before we left for our break. Some things are just better re-heated.

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After that, we talked to new girl Kristin, and got to know her a little bit better (tattoos and piercings only go so far, you know). In order to really get inside her, um, shoes, we had her tell a story from her life while our other model friends reenacted it. It’s called Kisstory and it features all the nudes that’s fit to print.

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It is Cyber Monday today, the day where everyone pretends the internet is for shopping, instead of porn. We met you shopaholics halfway in our Cyber Monday Sexy Skype Scavenger Hunt, featuring Texas rose Alissa Arden! Alissa showed us why she’s Cyber Girl of the Month, and made a pretty good case for why she should be crowned Cyber Girl of the Year. Although we’re suckers for anything said upside-down.

We took short break, but brought it right back with the first of our Playboy Morning Show Ass-vent Calendar: 12 little door-thingys, infinite amounts of mystery. Today, we opened number one, under which we found a nice little note telling us it’s time to decorate the studio! We had our girls spread some holiday cheer around the room, and deck our halls with their bras of jolly. To cap it all off, we ceremoniously lit the tree, and it is now officially Christmas time here in the Mini Mansion. We just hope we don’t get coal again.

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It is Monday, and that means Monday Night Football. Tonight, Jets over Dolphins, according to Andrea’s boobs, who are taking the road less traveled. Watch the game and let us know if she called the upset.

Finally, a brand new game was unveiled today, and it’s called I Won’t Say. It’s like Telephone mixed with Charades and with topless ladies, it’s all kinds of fun to watch. Our girls were pretty good at it, too, which only strengthens our theory that chicks can read minds.

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Thursday 11/20/14

Posted in Uncategorized on November 20, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s a Thanksgiving spectacular here in the Mini Mansion. We know it’s next week, but we’ll be off the air then, so you get your first serving of all of your holiday favorites a week early! With a side of naked ladies.

We started things today with our first Gobble Game, Butter Races! Drew and Katie sat on the couch and tried their best to melt some butter with only their body heat, and see who could get it all the way down to their panties first. I can’t believe it’s butter!

After that, we talked on the phone with Mr. Skin to tell us about all the celeb nudity of the week, including some choice scenes in the new “Sin City” movie, and Margaret Cho’s tattooed body. Check out his site for a whole mess of tattooed (and blank) ladies.

Our next Gobble Game happened to be Pumpkin Pie Diving! Jaclyn and Tania each tried their hand (or, face) at eating a pie using only their mouths. Andrea provided the orgasmic soundtrack as each lady took their turn, and somehow managed to make pie more sexy than it ever was before. And, let’s be real, pie was already pretty damn sexy.

Next, we welcomed in Bill and Tom Kaulitz, twin brothers from the band Tokio Hotel. They’re huge over in Europe and starting to make a name for themselves over here in the states, so be sure to keep your eye on them. People just might think you’re something of a taste-maker.

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We kept them in to judge our next Gobble Game, the Pilgrim Pole Dance! Each of our models came in the studio, dressed in their very own pilgrim garb and stripped on the pole for us. If only the original Pilgrims could see us now… Nothing pure about our Puritans.

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We took a short break and then welcomed in Chad Braverman of Doc Johnson sex toys. Doc Johnson has a plethora of amazing gadgets, gizmos, and what-ever-else to ensure that you and your partner get the most out of your intimate times together. Men and women need to give their site a once-over (Christmas is right around the corner, people).

While Chad was in studio, we had him judge some of our home-made sex toys in a segment we’re calling Spank Tank! Turns out that Chad can’t say no to anything with a fanny pack, so start sending those ideas his way.

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To close out our special Thanksgiving feast for the eyes, we enjoyed our last Gobble Game as dessert: Gravy Wrestling! What’s sexier than two girls going toe-to-toe in a tiny ring full of gravy? We honestly can’t think of anything right now. See you after our break, and have a great Thanksgiving!

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Wednesday 11/19/14

Posted in Uncategorized on November 19, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s Wednesdsay, a.k.a. the ass-crack of the week, splitting it between two cushy weekends, and we had a great show to help you separate…

We started things off today with a little Horny History lesson, in honor of Thanksgiving, which is right around the corner. Our hot teacher Mrs. Lipps came in to give us the real-deal talk about how the first Thanksgiving went down. As with most historical holidays, you should take this story with a grain of salt (or more, it is Thanksgiving after all).

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We continued to Give Thanks here at the Morning Show, today hearing from both Andrea and hot model Carly Lucy, who were thankful for things like: the invention of the thong, Asian men, and Carly’s firm, natural breasts. Amen!

After that, we mourned the loss of the creator of the “Choose Your Own Adventure” books, and honored him with our own Choose Your Own Ass-venture, which saw Ashley leading Juliet and Bobbi Dean on a mythical quest to reclaim their gold. They may have lost their clothes along the way, but they gained our admiration. They can clothe themselves in that.

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After a short break, we played a traditional Thanksgiving game here at the Playboy Morning Show, Turkey or Jerky! We saw an uber-closeup and we had to guess whether it was a hot girl or a turkey. On a related note, we’d like to remind everyone to always wear protection when handling raw meat.

Then we welcomed in our guest for the day, Youtube sensation and rapper extraordinaire Timothy DeLaGhetto. Timothy gave out some secrets to being a Youtube star, what it’s like to travel and talk on panels, and even took a video of his own. Check out his channel and see if you see any familiar faces.

Finally, we spun around our Wheel of Fantasy, Thanksgiving edition, and saw things like Horn on the Cob, Rack Friday, and a Twerk-ey. Gobble gobble, ya’ll.

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Tuesday 11/18/14

Posted in Uncategorized on November 18, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Don’t get down about that chill in the air, it’s what keeps our nipples nice and hard!

We started the show off this morning with another Giving Thanks moment, this time with Lisa showing her gratefullness for her full breasts. As somebody who had their bust enhanced, she can truly be thankful, because she’s knows what it’s like to live without.

Next, we looked through Bono’s bag that recently fell out of his airplane. That’s right, we have it, and don’t believe anybody who tells ya different, ya hear? One thing is abundantly clear: that guy sure loves himeself.

Following the bag examination, we played a fun little game called Dan Cummins Inside of You, in honor of our host Dan Cummins. It only took us two days to utilize his name, and frankly we’re surprised it lasted this long. Anyway, our ladies came in and were tested on whether or not they’ve done the same sexual things he has. Don’t let the beard fool you, Dan and these gals are more similar than you’d think.

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We had anther Giving Thanks before we went to break, this time featuring Destiny talking about her skinny cat or something. Or maybe it was tight pussy. Either way, that’s a strange thing to be thankful for, but to each their own. On an unrelated note, I don’t understand euphemisms.

We came back from break to honor that most sacred of Thanksgiving traditions: hand turkeys. In a segment called Spanksgiving, our girls slapped some ass and did some art, making their creations come to life. That’s one turkey that’ll make you wanna jerky. (I’m so sorry).

Then, we welcomed in Zane Lamprey, from the new NatGeo show “Chug,” where he gets to travel the world and try different exotic alcoholic drinks. Sounds like we have a contender for “Who’s Got the Best Job?”, against us here at the Playboy Morning Show. Maybe we should join forces…

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Finally, Zane stepped out and we played a game in his honor called Chugs and Juggs, where one girl is blindfolded and is fed drinks by a girl acting as her arms. These drinks are from all over the world, so it’s like around the world in 5 pints. Bottoms up!

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