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Monday 10/13/14

Posted in Uncategorized on October 13, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

If you’re staring down a mean Monday, there’s only one way to stave off your responsibilities for a few, precious more minutes… by reading this blog!

We unwrapped the first show of the week by welcoming in our brand-new guest host, Leonard Robinson! You may recognize Leonard from “Foursome: Walk of Shame” right here on PlayboyTV, where he coined the phrase “Welcome to the Fuck House!” So basically, he’s a living legend.

We then went to the first of many of our “Yes Means Yes” tutorials, where our models Danelle and Veronica walked us through the Do’s and Do-Not-Do’s of California’s new law. College students, take note.

After that, we welcomed in Andra Fuller, one of the stars of Adult Swim’s “Black Jesus.” Andra enlightened us to the fact that many men are now getting beard weaves to fill our their faces. Is nothing sacred?

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We kept Andra around for our next Yes Means Yes segment, and then we ran through our Horny History lesson with Cody teaching us about the “discovery” of America on this Columbus Day 2014. We learned a lot, mainly that Columbus was a huge dick.

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A short break followed, and then we welcomed in Neon Hitch, a British singer and songwriter who is starting her American tour this week. This be-sequined beauty told us about her “Gypsy” music, and the time somebody went down on her while she was singing on stage at a gay club, and we can’t really blame her for being a tad surprised.

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She stuck around for our last game of the day: Is It a Boob?! We saw close-ups of different body parts and we had to guess whether or not it was a boob. Our models locked in their answers by grabbing their own set of boobs, making the guessing part most of the fun. It’s Breast Awareness Month and we are now both aware and aroused.

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Thursday 10/9/14

Posted in Uncategorized on October 9, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

We had a fantastic Thursday here in the Mini Mansion, so let’s toot it and boot it.

The craziness began this morning when we let Ryan have his way with the Gratuitous Nudity button, pressing it throughout the show. It’s appropriate of nothing, so it’s only appropriate that they wear nothing.

We also talked with Mr. Skin on the phone today, and he brought a good amount of celebrity nudity to us, including from the show “Penny Dreadful,” which uses the magic of ghost sex to make sure nothing gets in the way of that sweet nakedness. Boo-tiful.

After that, we welcomed in Lori-Ann Marchese and Susanna Paliotta from the Bravo series “Game of Crowns.” These Mrs. USA contestants strutted their stuff, and let us know what it takes to be a hot mom.

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While they were in with us, we played a Halloween-themed game called Sweet ‘n Sour, where we heard some sour sexual stories featuring naked mishaps, and then washed the taste of them out of our mouth by watching our models eat candy off of each other. Next time, maybe we’ll do it with Chinese food.

We took a short break and then welcomed in Tommy Wirkola and Martin Starr from the film “Dead Snow 2,” and they stuck around to watch us play Nipflix! Our models re-enacted some famous scenes from horror movies and our guests had to guess. These ladies have some chops, in addition to having no tops.

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Wednesday 10/8/14

Posted in Uncategorized on October 8, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Welcome to another mid-week, wacky wheel-tastic Wednesday here in the Mini Mansion. We’ll all get over the hump if we want it hard enough.

The show got going this morning when we checked out the first of a few of our “Blood Moon” cams from across the world. We saw people the world over checking out the reddish hue of last night’s moon, and we have to say… we don’t remember it being so sexy.

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After that, we brought in Helenea and Carrie to talk to us about their porno preferences in our Hot Girl Focus Group segment. We had some data, statistics, and charts on the most-searched terms on porn sites, split by gender. It’s interesting to see what people want to look at the most, based on cold, hard evidence, rather than hearsay. We’re just surprised “cold,” “hard,” and “hearsay” didn’t make the list. Maybe that’s just us.

It’s Wednesday, which means that we brought out the Wheel of Fantasy and spun it round and round. We added a few college-focused challenges to the wheel, and even landed on one: Sorority Paddle. It’s the second-best thing to actually getting into the house you wanted. Theta Iota Theta for life!

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We took a short break and then welcomed in Carlton Gebbia, of “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” fame, to talk about what it’s like being the series’ first Wiccan, and what we can expect from her now that she’s not on the show anymore.

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Lastly, we closed out the show with a Battle of the  Babes… um… battle? Carlton was nice enough to stick around and help us judge the competition in the rounds of Trampoline Trivia, and Beverly Hills Shop-walk. In the end, team bush took home the prize, which we’ll take as evidence that pubic hair is back in style. You heard it here first!

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Tuesday 10/7/14

Posted in Uncategorized on October 7, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s another Tit-tastic Tuesday at the titular Playboy Morning Show, so stick around and check us out.

This morning got underway with a short discussion about our guest host Ryan’s anosmia, which means he can’t smell! We can think of a few ways that could be detrimental, but also a few ways were that would be an advantage. It’s like a really lame super power or something.

After we got to know Ryan a little better, we celebrated the Supreme Court’s non-action on the case against gay marriage, because no news is good news when people are fighting to keep lesbians away from each other. With that pretext, we had Drew and Dani come out and play a round of one of our favorite games: Lesbian Chicken! I mean, how could you ever see anything wrong with something this sexy?

We then chatted via Skype with another one of our “Girls of the ACC” from the magazine, Brittany Ann from UNC. Brittany’s photos featured her with a rainbow lollipop, so we had our girls show off some of their “skills” on some mouth-candy of their own.

We took a break and then came back to introduce the Suicide Girls: Blackheart Burlesque troupe. These tatted-up babes let us in on how easy it is to get action while constantly touring, and then led Ryan through a lesson in burlesque 101. If they can get him to twerk, they can probably get almost anybody to.

Finally, we welcomed all of our sexy models back into the studio for some Know It or Show It! The longest-running naked game show in the world proved once again why it still reigns supreme in the realm of nude trivia, making short work of our girls’ wardrobes. Truly, it is the game of kings.

Monday 10/6/14

Posted in Uncategorized on October 6, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s the Playboy Morning Show, helping you get up twice in the morning since 2006.

We began this fresh week by welcoming in our fresh guest host, Ryan Stout. Ryan’s background is in stand-up comedy and he’s a regular on “Chelsea Lately,” so we can’t wait to put his quick wits up against our models’ nice tits.

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The first little game we rocked this morning is called Who Would You Do? Halloween edition, wherein our sexy girls tell us which monster out of a pair that they’d rather sleep with. Logic plays a key role here, and maybe these monsters wouldn’t be so scary if they got a little lovin’. Just saying.

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After that we talked via Skype with Ali B, one of our hot models from Playboy’s “Girls of the ACC” pictorial. She’s repping Syracuse and her picture features her atop a gigantic pile of oranges, which she told us she actually got to take home after her shoot. We’ve always recommended getting your daily vitamin O.

Next up was Howe To with the  Howe Twins. Since the college issue of Playboy just dropped, we figured we have them teach us how to build some furniture for the dorm room you invariably inhabit your first year. A word to the wise: actually screw the legs into the table, especially in Southern California. Propping it up against a wall or bed only goes so far.

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We took a short break and then came back to feature our ladies reading some poetry they’d written, all about their favorite F-Words. These hip cats earned some snaps with their beatnik antics, and may have a real talent for word-smithing if this modeling thing ever falls through. Let’s hope to God it doesn’t.

 

Finally, we wrapped up the show by playing No Strings Attached. Ali Rose and Miranda were tied together and the Howe Twins were as well, putting their heads together and trying not to step too far apart. Good news is, those bikini strings pull off no matter what. They’re the true heroes of the morning.

Thursday 10/2/14

Posted in Uncategorized on October 2, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s the end of our week here in the Mini Mansion, but don’t let that get you down! We still had an amazing show to send you away with…

We got things going this morning, as we have so many Thursdays here in the past: with Mr. Skin dropping a line. And we’re not talking about those terrible puns he loves so much. Skin let us know the haps around the world of celebrity nudity, and showed us some pics to boot. TV is really embracing the nudity thing, and we have to say, we’d like to pat ourselves on the back for showing them the way.

After that, we played a quick round of Ebowling, the hilarious game named after the infectious disease. There’s no connection between the outbreak and this game, we just thought the name was funny. Our models Lisa, Drew, Kat, and Ashley came in and rolled the ball, trying to knock down all the pins. Any leftover meant that they had to remove that article of clothing. Not that it mattered, as they pretty much all lost all their clothes right away. Get these ladies some bumpers.

We then welcomed in funnyman Gilbert Gottfried! Gilbert regaled us with tales of his Playboy article and told us about his podcast, which you should definitely check out. The man’s a legend.

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We took a short break, and let Gilbert go into the hallway to teach some of our ladies some jokes. While he was giving them the funny, we brought in Cassie Scerbo, actress from the new show “Bad Judge.” Cassie gave us the low-down on what it’s like being a Hollywood hottie, and we thank her for that. We can only imagine. She’s also an anti-bullying leader, which only makes us love her more.

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Gilbert and the girls were ready at that point, and took to the stage after a rather enthusiastic introduction from their (obviously very proud) coach. It just goes to show that you don’t need to know someone’s name to introduce them as long as you have confidence. The girls told some jokes and clearly took his teachings to heart, eliciting giggles from Cassie and our hosts. Although that may have been more at Gilbert than anything.

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Finally, we rounded out our show with a little game we’re calling Kiss and Tell, where our girls hear the name of a kissing style and then have to do their best to show us what they think it is. It’s called Kiss and Tell because they kiss and you can tell it’s super hot.

Thanks to Kenny Santucci for guest hosting for us this week, we’ll see you on the flip. DEUCES.

Wednesday 10/1/14

Posted in Uncategorized on October 1, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s the beginning of October, and we can’t contain our excitement for our favorite holiday, Halloween! The other ones just don’t have as good of excuses to dress sexily.

We started things off today by welcoming in Lauren and Veronica, who would be our pumpkin-carving models today. They shared their experience (Veronica once won a contest, and Lauren usually sticks with the standard jack-o-lantern), and then we welcomed in Doug Goodreau, who’s a professional pumpkin carver. He schooled us in his various techniques, and then the pulp started to fly.

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As that was going on, we brought in Danielle and Juliette to participate in our traditional Wednesday game, Wheel of Fantasy! We solicited some calls and then tried our best to make their fantasies come alive. Put the emphasis in that last phrase wherever you want.

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We took a short break and then checked out the pumpkin masterpieces. We gotta say, Doug is a great teacher, because these ladies really made those lanterns pop. Oh, and Doug’s wasn’t too shabby either.

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After that, we talked via Skype with Mathias Kaer, a restaurant owner from Copenhagen who has started giving out dildos with his burgers. His spot is apparently like Hooters in Denmark, and we have to say we think that his idea makes him one Great Dane.

In our next game, Walk of Shame, our ladies started out blindfolded on our bed and had to trek across the studio in order to find their clothes. This is all in honor of our college issue, which you should definitely get your hands on ASAP. We’ll be having some of those lovely ladies come by the studio in the coming weeks, so prepare yourselves for that, too. Class is in session.

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Finally, our ladies ran over to our showers, which we converted into a genuine pumpkin-smashing arena to watch all of the girls’ hard work go to waste. Sure was fun to watch, though.

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