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Monday 11/10/14

Posted in Uncategorized on November 10, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s another Monday morning here at your one-stop-shop for all things Playboy: The Playboy Morning Show. It’s pretty aptly named, wouldn’t you say so?

We started the show today by welcoming back Rich Aronovitch as our guest host for the week. Anybody with a name that rhymes is all right in our book.

After giving Rich a warm homecoming, we moved on to our Fe-Mail, where we read mail from loyal viewers like you, which seems like the right thing to do after you all have spent so much on postage just to get those letters into our box. Cody helped us move through our letters, and we even had a special underwear update, featuring all of our lovely ladies. Sometimes it’s nice to know what’s going to be taken off, so that you can properly say goodbye.

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Next, we checked out how Andrea did last week in her Lick ‘em, Stick ‘em, and Pick ‘em titty picks, and she stayed true to form, getting 2 out of 3. Tonight her boobs like the Eagles over the Panthers, and we say bet the farm. Momma needs a brand new pair o’ farms.

Following that, we celebrated Missouri’s recent step forward for Gay Marriage by playing a special “Show Me” version of Lesbian Chicken, in honor of the Show-Me State’s progressive ways. If more voters watched a Lesbian Chicken throw-down, we think the rest of the states would come around pretty quickly.

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It’s deep into Muff-vember here on the Playboy Morning Show, and today we had a little muff-themed art project for our ladies, who came in to cut, tape, and googly-eye their own muffs. Limited only by their imaginations (and time), the ladies showed us some rather exotic pubic hair styles, and I think we understand why this trend is coming back in full.

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We then welcomed in Kristen Doute and James Kennedy from the Bravo show “Vanderpump Rules,” which just began its third season. If you’ve ever worked in a restaurant, you know it’s tough, but imagine doing it with a camera crew following you around. It also doesn’t help when everyone at the restaurant has slept with each other, but, I mean look at these people, wouldn’t you?

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Since Kristen and James are super experienced in the ways of food service, we had our girls try out for them, to see who had the best server skills. After taking an order, dancing for tips, and weaving through our patented obstacle course, we determined that Rachel was queen of them all, taking home the wad of cash. Don’t forget to tip your waitresses.

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Thursday 11/6/14

Posted in Uncategorized on November 6, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Welcome to Thursday. The year is getting closer and closer to being over, and we’re still going strong. Take that, year!

Our lovely little show got going this morning when we talked on the phone with Mr. Skin. Skin gave us a double-dose of his patented brand of celebrity nudity news (and puns), as he was not with us last week. We’re not complaining, and I don’t think any of you are either.

After that, we brought our girls in for a Hot Girl Focus Group on Anal Sex. Now, the reason we’re doing this comes from none other than Harvard University, which is running a sex ed week, with one of the classes being titled “What What In the Butt.” We assume it’s 101. Anyway, we asked our girls about their anal sex experience, and they really ran the gamut from never doing it to enjoying it a lot. The important thing is to experiment and try new things, and always have a safety word (we like Andrea’s: “parallelogram”).

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We kept our ladies in the studio to “bare” witness as Andrea and Steve had a battle of penis-drawing skills, otherwise known as a Dick Off! Andrea drew first, making hers quiet large, while Steve kept his on the smaller side. The ladies all sided with Andrea, and it just goes to show how important it is to know  your audience.

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We took a short break and then got one of our super-fans, Tim from Maine on the phone. Tim loves to call in during Wheel of Fantasy asking for some spanking action, and today his dreams came true. Our wheel was tricked out with all “Spanking” options, and he finally watched his dreams come true. That’s the magic of the Morning Show.

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Next, we welcomed in Frank Sheftel, owner and operator of “The Candy Factory,” the candy-maker to the stars. They’ve even been sued by the Academy Awards, they’re that popular! Frank talked to us about growing up as a real life kid in a candy store, and then we brought in our ladies to help us make a Human Candy Bar. Veronica laid down on the table and Lisa, Sarah, and Tawny dribbled, dripped, and dipped, making our very own Playboy Model Candy Bar. This is one chocolate bunny you don’t want to bite the head off of.

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Wednesday 11/5/14

Posted in Uncategorized on November 5, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Down and Up and Down again, it’s gotta be Hump Day. Let’s check out the show…

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First things first, we talked about Chelsea Handler’s topless, Putin-parodying selfie that Instagram took down. Shame on them! We parodied some famous photos from history using our own naked models, making sure that nobody can take them down. Fight the power! Oh, by the way, follow us on instagram at @pb_morningshow.

After that, we debuted our “Cosmos”-style video, lovingly called The Assmos. Who knew that learning about constellations could be so sexy? We never connected those dots.

In honor of our video (which will hopefully be up on Youtube soon), we played a totally spaced out version of Chicktionary, featuring words having to do with outer space. It’s crazy that we played this game even though we didn’t planet…

We took a short break and then welcomed in chef Ben Ford, who we featured in the magazine back in September. If you weren’t hungry before this interview, you definitely were after. Seriously, I’m getting barbecue sauce like, all over my keyboard right now. He was even enough of a stand up guy to repeat one of his dad’s famous lines for us, which we really hoped he would. We love “Air Force One.”

While Ben was in the studio, we had our girls come in and ask him some cooking questions while trying to distract him with their nudity in a segment called Ben Ford’s Five. Cooking naked can be a safety hazard, but Ben’s got your back. And your front.

Finally, it’s Wednesday, so we dusted off the ol’ Wheel of Fantasy and spun it to see where it landed, and make some lucky callers’ dreams come true. Today’s Wheel was money-themed because of yesterday’s primary elections. Money makes America go ’round (based on how much candidates spent on campaigning), and it also spun our wheel. Cha-ching.110514_06

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Tuesday 11/4/14

Posted in Uncategorized on November 4, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s Election Day all across America, from sea to shining local polling location. Remember to get out and vote, it’s what our forebears fought for. Well, that, and any excuse to get out of those garish red coats the British were always wearing.

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We started the show off today with a look at some of the data Facebook has been collecting about you, claiming that they can predict when you’re going to fall in love. Didn’t know they were doing that? Outraged? Well, you’ll be even more outraged when you see the new graphs we’ve uncovered… I think this is how that Terminator movie started…

Anyway! We shrugged all that off and continued on with our celebration of “Mo-Vember,” promoting Men’s Health and Awareness by growing gross mustaches! We decided to do our own sexy twist on it, by having our models Tiana, Nasia, and Laruen try to Pin the Muffstache on a very naked Dani G. Ladies, if you can do your part and grow out your muff-stache for men’s health, then you da real MVP.

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Next, we rolled through some of the voting that’s going on today by doing some Erection Day Lick ‘em, Stick ‘em, and Pick ‘em. Unfortunately we only had time to run through a few before we had to call it quits. You’ll just have to decide on your local government officials on your own. Ain’t America swell?

To further illustrate our patriotism on this deciding day for America, we had our girls re-speak some famous presidential speeches, only after they had a healthy helping of jalepeno pepper. We haven’t seen a presidential speech this sweaty since Nixon. Hi-oh!!

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We took a short break and then welcomed in our guest Quinton Aaron, who you might recognize from “The Blind Side,” as he’s hard to miss. Quinton came in today to promote Censorgram, his new anti-bullying app that he’s helping to develop, proving that he’s a big guy with a big heart. We used his anti-bullying expertise to help us mediate a made-up scenario between our models in a segment called When Puss Comes to Shove.

Finally, we re-clothed all of our ladies in order to have them immediately strip down in the world’s longest-running naked game show, Know It or Show It! The ladies did their best to stay clothed, but the show ended with a naked dance party and giant Quinton dog-pile on the couch. Big guys are snuggle magnets, it seems.

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Monday 11/3/14

Posted in Uncategorized on November 3, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s another Magical Monday here at the Playboy Morning Show. It’s the best place to make your Halloween hangover disappear!

The show got going as we welcomed back Steve Greene to guest host with us for a full week! He’s officially made the move from YouTube to BoobTube.

Throughout the show today, we saw the girls in our brand-new, patented selfie cam that can read minds. We saw just how philosophical these girls can get, when it just looks like they’re trying to find the best angle. I guess still waters sometimes do run deep…

We were planning on having famous YouTube sensation Antione Dodson (of “Bed Intruder” fame) in the studio, but his celebrity boxing match rendered him unable to get out of bed this morning. That’s a sentence that we never thought we’d type (but always secretly hoped). He did win the fight, however, and in his honor we played a Bed Intruder game that bears a striking resemblance to Red Light/Green Light, if you replaced a sweaty P.E. teacher with a hot chick. That’s a good rule of thumb for most situations, actually.

After that, we celebrated falling back for Daylight Savings Time yesterday (if you didn’t know that that happened, go back to bed, you get an extra hour) by falling back into some leaves and making Leaf Angels. We didn’t really have a lot of leaves in our pile, but we did have a pile of gorgeous models, which really makes us want to rake our lawn.

We took a short break and then welcomed in Skip and Alison Bedell from the SpikeTV show “Catch a Contractor,” which they host with our good friend Adam Carolla. There’s nothing more satisfying than seeing a slimy contractor get their well-deserved comeuppance, and we believe that these people are doing the Lord’s work. Just like us here on the Morning Show! Skip and Alison were kind enough to help us sort through some new deviants in our Name That Alleged Perv game, and they proved that it sometimes takes more luck than skill to nab a skeezeball.

Finally, we brought our models back to play some 2 on 2, because it’s officially basketball season! Instead of shooting for points, they were dared to do sexy things and boy, they did not disappoint. This is one basketball game you don’t just turn on in the 4th quarter.

Thursday 10/30/14

Posted in Uncategorized on October 30, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Halloween! We had a spook-tastic Playboy Morning Show for the ages, so get ready to howl at the moons…

We took some calls at the top of the show, and they seemed to be a little strange today. Well, stranger than usual. Aside from hearing from some obvious pranksters, we also got a call straight from Hell itself… that’s right, ladies and gentlemen, the Devil is real and he watches the Playboy Morning Show. We’re… not all that surprised, really. But he says he’s lonely and wants one of our girls, so we tried to determine who was the most innocent in a game called…

Good to Be Bad! We heard some naughty stories from our ladies and determined that Dani was the most innocent. But rather than give up a fine young lady to the Prince of Darkness himself, we had her hide from him. Just because she’s got a hot body doesn’t mean she wants to spend eternity in hell.

After that, we welcomed in Oliver Robins, star of the Spielberg film “Poltergeist.” Oliver talked about his experience working on one of the quintessential horror movies of all time, and about his new project “29,000 Wishes. 1 Regret,” which is a film about a couple who plan to max out their credit cards and then kill themselves. And you thought the recession hit you hard.

We were rudely interrupted by the Devil once again on our phone lines, claiming he did not receive his girl, and saying he wanted a new one. That Devil sure is one greedy bastard. Our girls came back in to see who knew the least about the Devil, in a trivia game called What the Devil?. Veronica was the first to get completely naked, and was told by our hosts to hide once again, and avoid the Devil’s grasp.

Next, we welcomed in Tuesday Knight, star of “Nightmare on Elm Street 4,” the Freddy Kreuger film which she also sang the theme song for. She told us what it takes to make a scream, and how scary it actually is on set. It really depends on who the director is. BA-ZING!

This time the Devil wasn’t messing around, when he took physical form and joined us in the studio, right before he cut us out to break…

When we came back, our girls were in a state of possession, writhing together uncontrollably on the bed. At least, we think they were possessed. That’s actually how they normally act.

To get a professional opinion, we welcomed in Sean Whalen, from the film “The People Under the Stairs,” who recently played a murderous priest. He talked to us about his horror movie past, and also his Michael Bay-directed “Got Milk?” commercial that kick-started the entire campaign. He was nice enough to don a priest outfit, and with the help of Oliver and Tuesday (dressed as monks), he completed a Sexorcism on our girls, bringing them back to normal.

Finally, we wrapped it up with a dance party, because why not? HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

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Wednesday 10/29/14

Posted in Uncategorized on October 29, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s the Playboy Morning Show: a land of magic, mystery, and boobs! (Magic and mystery may be boob-related)

We got things rolling this morning by checking out some new statements made by the pope in order to appear more forward-thinking. We applaud his open-mindedness, and gave out some of his lesser-known statements, like what God really think about people who spoil “Game of Thrones.” (Hint: it’s not good).

Next, we checked in with our neglected Hidden Ass Twitter account, and found some Hidden Ass that’s been piling up all around our studio. We’re like that show “Hoarders,” but instead of dead cats, we keep finding random butts.

After our search for tail, we went out to our woman-on-the-street for some Nipple News. In a recent discovery, an old notebook in Antarctica was discovered (true!) and we had some excerpts to read for your (not as true!). Carly reported the findings to us, as we got a look into the past and realized… Antarctica fucking sucks. Never go there.

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As it is Wednesday, we brought out the Wheel of Fantasy, with a nightmare-ish twist just in time for Halloween. We witnessed such horrors as a Vampire Kiss session, a Monster Mash Make-Out, and some twerking zombies. It’s enough to make you petrified… in your pants.

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We took a short break and then came back to welcome in our guest for the day, Grammy-winning singer/songwriter Jon Secada! Jon’s had a successful solo career, and worked with such stars as J-Lo, Shakira, and Ricky Martin as a producer. His book “A New Day” is available now, and you should definitely check it out.

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Since we had Jon with us, we wanted to see if he knew his songs as well as his fans, with a game we call Your Song Tit-les. Our models teamed up to try and act out Jon’s titles while he guessed, and I think he was more than a little distracted by their nudity, but he still did a great job. We forget that not everybody is around naked women all day. What a shame.

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