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Monday 10/20/14

Posted in Uncategorized on October 20, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Well, we blinked and the weekend went by. But fret not! The Playboy Morning Show is here to help you get over your hangover and on to the next one.

The show started with an introduction to our guest host for the day, the incomparable Andy Dick! We appreciate Andy waking up so early to be on our show, we know how much he likes to party. He’s basically a champion.


In honor of Mr. Dick joining us, we played a little game called Stick the Dick, where our girls selected a penis cut-out from our ample selection and tried their best to pin it onto a little poster of a Dick-less Andy. Cody got closest with her cactus dick, and regaled us of her story that she partied with Andy and bought him a couple shots. No wonder she won.

After that, we Titty Picked us some football. Tonight’s match-up between the Steelers and the Texans is going to go Pittsburgh’s way according to the incredible picking power of Andrea’s left breast. Get your bookie on the horn, because Andrea’s nipples are always a hot tip.

Since Sweetest Day was this weekend (don’t worrry, we forgot too), we played a quick round of Candy TIT-les, where our girls acted out names of candies for Andrea and Andy to guess. Andrea blasted Andy in this game about candy, proving that she’s fine and dandy. Ugh. That last sentence was too sweet for even Sweetest Day. Sorry about that.

After a quick break we returned to welcome in 4-time and current Mr. Olympia, Phil Heath! All you need is one look and you can see why he’s the best in the business, but he also shared why his choice of swimsuit color matters (coordination is a big part of presentation, everybody).

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Since we had Phil here, we wanted to make him feel at home by having our models do some Feets of Strength. Amber, Cody, Destiny, and Heather all strutted their foot-stuff and competed in the presentation, dexterity, and speed rounds to see who’s got the best shoe-stuffers. Phil determined that Amber’s butt-bashing skills really set her apart and gave her the title. Some people’s feet weren’t just made for walkin’, it seems.


Thursday 10/16/14

Posted in Uncategorized on October 16, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

The light at the end of the week is growing wider and wider, so let’s keep on chuggin’.

We got things started this fine morning by checking out a study that broke down the most attractive dances that men can do to attract women. Apparently neck movement and leg speed directly correlate to how good of a dancer you appear to be, so we’re guessing headbanging is the way to go. But we’re not experts or anything. Our girls showed us some attractive dances, and we needed your help to decide which was the best in our Playboy Poll Dancing. Read on to learn the results…

After that, we talked on the phone with Mr. Skin, who brought up one of our favorite girl-on-girl scenes in “Mulholland Drive,” and also Cameron Diaz’s first nude scene ever! We always say better late than never, and she’s still got it going on.

Next, we brought our models back in for Boobing for Candy, a delightful Halloween game that you can play with the adults in your neighborhood, should you so choose. We recommend getting drunk first, though. Anyway, Destiny, Lauryn, Dani G, and Drew all dipped their breasts into some caramel and tried to get the most candy to stick. In the end, Dani G survived the shake test the best and was declared the champion. As a reward, her candy got eaten off, giving a whole new meaning to the words “caramel apple.”


We took a short break and then welcomed in Caitlin O’Connor, model, Playboy Mansion tour guide,and all-around hot chick. She’ll be appearing in the film “Southpaw” starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Rachel McAdams next year, so look for her ringside in that boxing film.

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To close out the show, we played a quick round of Hefardy, featuring categories like “Famous Southpaws” and “Months of the Year.” We ran out of time, but were able to use a caller to break the tie in our dance contest, naming Drew’s twerking the victor and the best way to attract guys. We hope you’ll all be twerking for the weekend in her honor.

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Wednesday 10/15/14

Posted in Uncategorized on October 15, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Hola amigos! Bienvenidos al Playboy Morning Show! It’s the last day of Hispanic Heritage Month, and we’ve got four sexy Latinas here to help us celebrate!

We started things off by checking in with our hot Latina models and seeing if they had any idea that it was Hispanic Heritage Month. They did not. But neither did we before today. Maybe people get confused because Hispanic Heritage Month starts and ends in the middle of two separate months. Were all the other months taken? Get on that, Hispanic Heritage Month marketing team. But we don’t care! We’re gonna celebrate these hot ladies’ history anyway. Because no matter who you are, or where you’re from, we all can agree that hot chicks are good for humanity.

After that we talked via Skype with the ladies of Sheri’s Ranch, which is a brothel in Nevada. They’re having their annual Halloween party and it sounds like a pretty neat shindig to say the least. We also feel inclined to mention their various themed rooms and brand new Nuru massage parlour, which makes us think we want to come for the Halloween party, stay forever. And we mean that without an ounce of spookiness.

Next, we continued our celebration of Hispanic culture with a little game called Wheel of Hot! Our models came in and spun the wheel to determine what they then had to eat from our array of spicy peppers, sauces, and chips. These ladies really went to bat and showed us that they know how to turn up the heat. And in mascara, too. That’s the real impressive part.

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We took a short break and then came back to welcome in singer Mila J, whose new song “My Main” featuring Ty Dolla $ign can be found on Youtube. Mila talked to us about growing up in Los Angeles (her name stands for “Made in Los Angeles”), and about the shady tactics of haters on Instagram. Gotta love those haters.

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Finally, Mila stayed in to act as lifeline for the girls as we played Who Lati-no’s More? It’s a special Latin-themed Know It or Show It, and the girls did their best to fend off trivia questions to keep their clothes. Any clothes lost will be donated to needy people in other countries. Not really though.

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Tuesday 10/14/14

Posted in Uncategorized on October 14, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

We had a spooky Topless Tuesday ready to go for you this morning, so let’s split up and check it out.

We got the ball rolling today with a lively discussion about balls, which only feels appropriate.

After that, we talked about an insensitive selfie taken by Danny Green of the NBA’s San Antonio Spurs, where he used the hashtag #holocaust. We scrolled through Facebook and found out some of our models had been unknowingly doing the same thing. Check your backgrounds, ya’ll.

Next, we talked via Skype with Ryan McManus, inventor of The Defender, a new self-defense item for women that is part mace, part camera, and part GPS. In a moment of crisis, simplicity is king, and one button does all on this little gadget. Ryan doesn’t recommend taking photos of celebrities with it, though, and we’re inclined to agree.

In honor of the Defender, we played one of our favorite games here, Name That Alleged Perv! This perv round-up is Halloween-themed, featuring alleged pervs in costume-related crimes. Even if you have a disguise, sometimes that’s not enough.

We took a short break and then welcomed in Scream Queen Felissa Rose, whose superstar status was solidified at an early age in the film “Sleepaway Camp,” and she’s been doing it ever since, starring in over 60 horror movies to date. You should definitely check out her new film “No Solicitors,” because she knows scary movies.101414_04

Finally, we welcomed in our models to participate in a Scream Queen-off, to see if any of them have what it takes to be a horror movie starlet. The three rounds had them test their scream, their acting abilities, and their death throes to determine who’s the Scream-iest of these Queens. In the end, Felissa went with Carolyn, so if you’re looking for someone to star in your horror movie, she’s your ghoul.

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Monday 10/13/14

Posted in Uncategorized on October 13, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

If you’re staring down a mean Monday, there’s only one way to stave off your responsibilities for a few, precious more minutes… by reading this blog!

We unwrapped the first show of the week by welcoming in our brand-new guest host, Leonard Robinson! You may recognize Leonard from “Foursome: Walk of Shame” right here on PlayboyTV, where he coined the phrase “Welcome to the Fuck House!” So basically, he’s a living legend.

We then went to the first of many of our “Yes Means Yes” tutorials, where our models Danelle and Veronica walked us through the Do’s and Do-Not-Do’s of California’s new law. College students, take note.

After that, we welcomed in Andra Fuller, one of the stars of Adult Swim’s “Black Jesus.” Andra enlightened us to the fact that many men are now getting beard weaves to fill our their faces. Is nothing sacred?


We kept Andra around for our next Yes Means Yes segment, and then we ran through our Horny History lesson with Cody teaching us about the “discovery” of America on this Columbus Day 2014. We learned a lot, mainly that Columbus was a huge dick.

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A short break followed, and then we welcomed in Neon Hitch, a British singer and songwriter who is starting her American tour this week. This be-sequined beauty told us about her “Gypsy” music, and the time somebody went down on her while she was singing on stage at a gay club, and we can’t really blame her for being a tad surprised.

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She stuck around for our last game of the day: Is It a Boob?! We saw close-ups of different body parts and we had to guess whether or not it was a boob. Our models locked in their answers by grabbing their own set of boobs, making the guessing part most of the fun. It’s Breast Awareness Month and we are now both aware and aroused.

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Thursday 10/9/14

Posted in Uncategorized on October 9, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

We had a fantastic Thursday here in the Mini Mansion, so let’s toot it and boot it.

The craziness began this morning when we let Ryan have his way with the Gratuitous Nudity button, pressing it throughout the show. It’s appropriate of nothing, so it’s only appropriate that they wear nothing.

We also talked with Mr. Skin on the phone today, and he brought a good amount of celebrity nudity to us, including from the show “Penny Dreadful,” which uses the magic of ghost sex to make sure nothing gets in the way of that sweet nakedness. Boo-tiful.

After that, we welcomed in Lori-Ann Marchese and Susanna Paliotta from the Bravo series “Game of Crowns.” These Mrs. USA contestants strutted their stuff, and let us know what it takes to be a hot mom.


While they were in with us, we played a Halloween-themed game called Sweet ‘n Sour, where we heard some sour sexual stories featuring naked mishaps, and then washed the taste of them out of our mouth by watching our models eat candy off of each other. Next time, maybe we’ll do it with Chinese food.

We took a short break and then welcomed in Tommy Wirkola and Martin Starr from the film “Dead Snow 2,” and they stuck around to watch us play Nipflix! Our models re-enacted some famous scenes from horror movies and our guests had to guess. These ladies have some chops, in addition to having no tops.



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Wednesday 10/8/14

Posted in Uncategorized on October 8, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Welcome to another mid-week, wacky wheel-tastic Wednesday here in the Mini Mansion. We’ll all get over the hump if we want it hard enough.

The show got going this morning when we checked out the first of a few of our “Blood Moon” cams from across the world. We saw people the world over checking out the reddish hue of last night’s moon, and we have to say… we don’t remember it being so sexy.


After that, we brought in Helenea and Carrie to talk to us about their porno preferences in our Hot Girl Focus Group segment. We had some data, statistics, and charts on the most-searched terms on porn sites, split by gender. It’s interesting to see what people want to look at the most, based on cold, hard evidence, rather than hearsay. We’re just surprised “cold,” “hard,” and “hearsay” didn’t make the list. Maybe that’s just us.

It’s Wednesday, which means that we brought out the Wheel of Fantasy and spun it round and round. We added a few college-focused challenges to the wheel, and even landed on one: Sorority Paddle. It’s the second-best thing to actually getting into the house you wanted. Theta Iota Theta for life!


We took a short break and then welcomed in Carlton Gebbia, of “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” fame, to talk about what it’s like being the series’ first Wiccan, and what we can expect from her now that she’s not on the show anymore.

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Lastly, we closed out the show with a Battle of the  Babes… um… battle? Carlton was nice enough to stick around and help us judge the competition in the rounds of Trampoline Trivia, and Beverly Hills Shop-walk. In the end, team bush took home the prize, which we’ll take as evidence that pubic hair is back in style. You heard it here first!



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