We started off the show by tooting our own horn. How is that different from any other day, you ask? Well, what we mean to say is that we feel we’ve contributed to the world and made it a better place… by popularizing twerking. But more on that later.

Next we talked to our man on all things Vegas, Robin Leach (of vegasdeluxe.com of course). This weekend, Tiger is hosting his “Tiger Jam” (insert joke here), and the Billboard awards are welcoming Prince and Madonna. But all that pales in comparison to the fact that our very own Andrea Lowell will be at a topless pool party as Sapphire! So, now you HAVE to go.

From there we dove right into the week in sex, and boy what a week it was. Apparently a guy in Taiwan cut all of his genitals off during a dispute with his girlfriend, a bee-sex story out of Sweden is fake, and a couple others that just make you scratch your head. This world be crazy, ya’ll.

As many of you may already be painfully aware, the PowerBall just keeps going up and up, and so we thought we’d lend you a hand (metaphorically speaking) in picking out the winning numbers. We had our lovely models Danielle, Chelsie, Woo, and Cody come in and titty pick four separate numbers, and had Andrea round out the last one and the powerball as well. The lucky numbers were 24,30,29,4,59 and the powerball was 17. Good luck! You’ll need it.

Lastly, we played a new fun game here called “Guess That (alleged) Perv,” where we showed four mugshots and everyone guessed which crime matched the face they saw. Can you judge a (innocent until proven guilty) perv by its cover? Apparently you can! to celebrate that fact, and the weekend coming, we had ourselves a little twerk ho-down. You’re welcome.

We kicked off the show today by talking with Mr. Skin! Our old friend talked with us about what’s “good” in the world of TV and Film this week, and there were few surprises (unless you’ve been Unabomber status out in the woods or something): Nurse Jackie and Game of Thrones were the main topics of conversation. One thing that was very out of the ordinary was an artist’s conception of a nude Bea Arthur. So there’s that.

After that, we broke down the news in The Lowell Down. Stories this week included a cop getting stuck up a tree along with a kitten, underwear that hides your crack (how novel), and the continuing saga of the Mars expedition that has to date gotten applications from over 78,000 willful astronauts.

Following that, we had a lovely little Skype-enger Hunt with our cyber girl Kella Dawn. Kella is a brunette now, and did very well in finding small g-strings and ice around her home. Well played, indeed.

Next, we got our thinking caps out and brought in the super sexy Krystin and Samantha to play a round of Hefardy! The categories ranged from Female Body Parts to US Geography, and the ladies tested their knowledge all while bearing their bodies. Don’t ever say they’re a one-trick pony.

Our entire show today was devoted to our new queen-among-mortals: Raquel Pomplun. In case you’ve been living under a rock, Raquel is our newest Playmate of the Year 2013! She was Miss April 2012, and now she’s been giving Playboy’s highest honor. She got $100,000 AND a new Jaguar F-type, and we just couldn’t be more proud… Sorry, we promised ourselves we wouldn’t cry.

She also happens to be the first Mexican-American PMOY, and we had Maurice, our nervous Mexican IT guy, try to express his excitement at his people finally having such a great honor. At press time, he’s still trying to spit it out, so don’t hold your breath.

From here, we brought in four beautiful models: Krissy, Samantha, Danielle, and Gigi. These ladies would love to be in Raquel’s shoes (but who wouldn’t ), and so we gave them our own sort of PMOY Boot Camp, right here in the Mini Mansion. We put each girl through the model-wringer in four separate challenges while they fought to keep their sexy composure. Raquel gave each of them super helpful tips as they conquered the “Sour Shower,” “Hot Rod/Hot Pepper,” “Extreme Weather,” and “Who’s in the Bed?” It really makes you respect models more. There’s more to it than being really, really, ridiculously good-looking.

We started today off by Skype-ing someone who’s been in the news a good deal lately: the ex-English teacher turned model Victoria James. This Floridian lost her job when racy pictures of her surfaced online, as she was supplementing her lowly teacher’s salary by modeling on the side. According to her, this publicity might just be the best thing that’s happened to her, as her career is now just starting to take off, as she takes off her clothes.

Next, we welcomed into the studio comedian Finesse Mitchell, who is promoting a new show on TBS called “Who Gets the Last Laugh?”. That airs tonight at 10/9c so be sure to check that out! Finesse has also been on SNL and is constantly touring and doing stand-up.

After that we brought in our lovely models Bianca, Jade, and Erica to compete in our Coochie Casino, where Kevin, Andrea, and Finesse all fed their horrible gambling addiction and bet on which girls did certain activities. It went back and forth, but the house always wins, and somehow the girls all ended up without even the clothes they walked in with. Let that be a lesson about betting, children.

We started the show off today by welcoming back ol’-what’s-his-name, Karl. I mean, Kevin. Yes! Kevin’s back from his Panamanian Adventures in whore-land, and gave us the scoop on how they do things waaay south of the border. Apparently, if you’re looking for an all-expenses prostitute vacay spot, then Panama is the country for you.

Enough about that! It’s the day after Mother’s Day, and we’ve invented our own little holiday tradition here at the Morning Show: M.I.L.F’s Day. It happens the day after Mother’s Day, and it celebrates all those hot moms out there in the world. Strap yourselves in, it’s about to get Oedipal.

Firstly, we called up one of the hottest moms on the planet (and not just because she lives in Florida): Jamie Edmonson. You may remember Jamie from such things as the January 2010 edition of Playboy Magazine, and also Your Dreams. We called her on the phone and had her give us an idea of what it’s like to be both a Playmate and Play-date-mate (it’s a stretch, but we’re sticking to it). Everything from baby weight, to breastfeeding were discussed, and let’s just say, it sounds like this bunny has got this mothering thing down.

Following that, we welcomed into the studio some MILFs of our own: the beautfiul Lindsey and Nicole. These hot little mamas came in and participated in a stroller obstacle course, a mom-next-door striptease, every stereotype you can think of, we had them do that for you. It only comes once a year, so we had to squeeze as much in as possible. What?

We had the distinct pleasure, no, the HONOR of welcoming back our guest host Mark Long for another fine Morning Show today, and he did a fantastic job of it. Well played, sir.

The only bad news today is that it’s the final day in “Celebrate Your/The Clitoris” week but there’s still time, so get to it! Today, we learned that there’s over 8000 sensory nerve endings in the clitoris, which is double of what is found at the most sensitive place on the penis. Damn son.

Next, we talked to Robin Leach who, as you know, is representing VegasDeluxe.com, and he dropped some knowledge on us, Vegas-style. This weekend, there’s a super cool Micheal Jackson show going on, and a new reality series set in Mandalay Bay called “Model Employee.” It’s got guilty pleasure written all over it.

From there, we ran through the Week In Sex, where we broke down what (and who) went down in this crazy world of ours. According to our studies, a woman shot a man (to death!) because he had naked pictures of her, and it only got weirder from there.

To round out this wonderful Friday morning, we brought in the lovely Amber, Sarah, and Miranda to play a little game we lovingly call “Fan-demonium,” where the girls tested their knowledge of college sex survey trivia versus the various levels of fans giving their flowing skirts the Monroe treatment. You can only guess where it went from there.

We kicked off the show by continuing to celebrate the clitoris! It is International Celebrate the/your Clitoris Week, and as such, we had some more interesting facts for you. Were you aware that the clitoris is the only human organ designed only for pleasure? Oooh. Or that the average length is half an inch, and the longest ever was twelve inches?? Wow-ee!

Following that, we talked to Mr. Skin on the phone, who gave us the Mr. Skin Minute, and told us what to watch out for on screens both big and small. For instance, some fantastic old school Blu-Rays came out this week, such as “An Officer and a Gentleman,” and “The Grifters.” Check out his website for more (way more) information (and pictures!).

Next, we brought in Jenn Sterger and Suzy McCoppin from the theatrical show “Pieces (of Ass),” to talk about the show’s tenth anniversary run here in LA, and what has kept it the #1 off-broadway show in both NY and LA for so long. If you’re saying, ‘Theater? That’s not my style, dig?’, well first we’d say that you talk an awful lot like a 1970′s pimp, but also that the show features many beautiful ladies talking about what it means to be them. So you should probably check it out.

Finally, it wouldn’t be the Playboy Morning Show without a handful of beautiful women. We brought in Annette (who’s our Cyber Girl of the Month), Hanna, and Julia to play a round of “No Strings Attached.” The girls entered tied together by the straps of their bikinis, and had to take a step apart for every question that they got wrong. They put up a valiant effort, but in the end, the bikinis snapped off, and all was right in the world again.

We started off today’s show by continuing our Clitoral Appreciation Week, wherein Kevin wrote a haiku for Andrea’s clit. That went about as well as anyone could have expected, but we did have another clit tip for yo. “In Turkey small clits are called sesame seeds.” Seems a little oddly specific, but it is a fun fact nonetheless!

We continued on with the Lowell Down, giving you the dirty deets of what’s going on in the world in our own special way. Everything from a very dapper burglar stealing men’s care products to a disgusting poutine-flavored soda were discussed, and some made us hotter than others.

For the main dish in today’s feast of a show, we played a little game called “Bet on Your Babe“! Our legal department has asked that we include the fact that we have never heard of any show that has even the closest resemblance to that name… ANYWAY, we brought in three couples to see who had the most confidence in their knowledge of their significant other. For this game, we brought in Leia and Ruby (our resident lesbian couple), Lindsey and Eric, and Gio and Kat!

We had the guys (and Ruby) stay in the room and bet on what outfit, sexual position, and erogenous zone their Babe would pick. After a game with a lot of ups and downs, Gio and Kat walked away with the $500 prize that they intend to put down as a deposit on an apartment. We’ll have to see if that actually pans out…

We started off the show today by celebrating international clitoris week, in this month of masturbation, with a helpful hint about the Greek origin of the word: it means key. Those Greeks, they thought of everything.

We welcomed into the Mini Mansion today, Miss May 2013 Kristen Nicole. We got to know our beautiful blonde California girl even better today, and saw how well she knew herself. We put a new spin on our Playmate body quiz, and threw Kevin and Andrea into the mix as well as we played “Who Knows THEIR Body Best?” We examined close-ups of our Playmate, Kevin, and Andrea to see who could recognize the body part and who it belonged to. It was actually a bit tougher than you’d think… but not that tough.

We also had our Playmate pick numbers off of the lovely Dani, as we did the Playmate Pick Six, where Kristen had the chance to enlighten us a tad on a small facet of her sexual fantasies, proclivities, and activities.

We also had a surprise for our crafty Playmate, who is a huge fan of Bedazzling: we brought in Vajazzling expert Mistey from Sashay Wax in Beverly Hills to “Boobie-Dazzle” our lovely girls Paula, Taylor, and Lindsey, who joined our Playmate and got some new bling bling on their ta-tas.

We started the day off by going through last week’s Week In Sex! We broke down all the best sexy news stories from the world of last week, and the best news is that we get to do it all again on Friday. It’s all the nudes that are fit to print.

In preparation for our “ComeFukMe Derby,” we talked to a guy on the phone who was at the ACTUAL race, and got some hot tips on how betting works. Let’s see if they pan out…

Following that, we played a little game we like to call Good Naked/Bad Naked. We touched on everything from racing dildos to naked car-jackers to sex on the beach, and doled out judgment based on whether we thought that they were worthy of being nude.

Closing out the show today, we brought in Danielle and Chelsie to be our Jock-ettes, and ride our tiny horses in the “ComeFukMe Derby.” We had the girls name their horses, gave the odds, and let ‘em race. Every time their horse’s number was rolled, they got to move ahead. After a tight race, a photo finish revealed Danielle was our grand champion. She got roses and a medal, while Chelsie was forced to eat horse meat. That’s how they do it in Kentucky, right?