Wednesday 8/13/14

Posted in Uncategorized on August 13, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s another Weird Wednesday here in the Mini Mansion. Let’s give this show the ol’ elevator eyes.

We started things off with a little mystery… We had a special guest on Skype who turned out to be none other than our long-lost friend Robin Leach, all the way from his home in Vegas. It’s been a while since we’ve seen Robin and we had a lot to catch up on, including his farewell wish for Kevin. It’s enough to make a grown man cry. Or at least run away to Vegas for a weekend.

After that, we heard from Dustin and Cassandra, our Food Porn contest winners, who had a goodbye food porn for Kevin, using all the flavors of Lay’s new contest in his honor. Now if we could only get him the recognition he deserves… 

Next, we had another little surprise for Kevin… funny man Brad Williams is in the house! Brad chewed the fat with Kevin and Andrea about what he’s been up to since we last saw him, and wished Kevin a fine goodbye as well.

While Brad was in, we sent in our models to sit next to him (which he was nice enough to allow), and they played a round of Tit Pics, where we saw pictures of things that looked like boobs, and everyone tried to come up with their best caption. Their phrases weren’t so good, but man are they hot.

We took a short break and then it was time to get a very special call from… Kevin’s Mom. Aww. She wished him the best and it was a very special mother-son moment… until Kevin brought up his birth. Well, it is what it is. 

Finally, we also welcomed in Lahna Turner, comedian and songstress promoting her new special “So… I Wrote a Song About It.” She joined Brad on the couch and talked about whether or not she could take him in a comedian-on-comedian fight. Not in so many words, but we can read between the lines.

After the show today, we played a very special Kevin-centric game of Hefardy, we’re calling KEV-ardy. Be sure to check it out. Also it’s Kevin’s last day, so you do not want to miss all the tearful goodbyes and rear-full good thighs. That’s a stretch, but I’m sticking with it.

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Tuesday 8/12/14

Posted in Uncategorized on August 12, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Welcome to Tuesday in the Mini Mansion, we have a big announcement and we won’t waste time getting to it…

Kevin announced today that he is leaving the show at the end of the week after a great 7+ year run. This may come as quite a shock, but he insists that we will soon get over the abrupt change. In lieu of writing his own farewell speech, he used the one used on “The View” a mere day ago. Don’t ever change, Kevvy. We’ll miss you.

On the phone was a little mystery guest we set up for Kevin in his last week within these hallowed walls. It didn’t take long to realize that it was none other than the hedgehog himself, Ron Jeremy. He even was nice enough to send Kevin a little telephonic harmonica concert to honor him. We assume he was using his mouth.

Speaking of music, our next surprise guest for Kevin was another favorite from shows past, Kitty Davis, topless opera singer. Kitty came in her finest horny hat (that’s actual horns, fyi) and belted out an original tune about Kevin walking off into the sunset. 

But! It’s not all about Kevin, and we have a show to bring to you fine folks. So next, we chatted with Justin Sylvester via Skype. You may have seen Justin’s maternity pictures he took of his own belly on the internet; he took the photos because his wife didn’t want to. It worked out for him, because he got a year of free pizza out of it. That’s our barometer for success.

Next, we welcomed in Melissa Howe of the Howe Twins for some Howe To. Now, Carla is once again missing in action, so Melissa is playing the part of Carla. Since they’re twins it shouldn’t be too hard to suspend your disbelief. We watched her pack a box, and no, that’s not a euphemism for anything.

After a short break, we saw a very lovely video message for Kevin from Pillow Dan. Dan’s looking more spry than ever, even fighting off a horse who’s trying to attack his junk. It was a glorious sight to see.

We then welcomed in Robin Marshall, author of “Diary of a Sugar Mom: Don’t Tell the Kids.” The book is “fact-tion,” or “part fact, part fiction,” so you know it’s juicy. To round out the show, the girls joined Robin on the couch and tried their best to walk across the studio and pin a dick on a picture of Kevin. They had some trouble, but we really can’t blame them.

Thursday 8/7/14

Posted in Uncategorized on August 7, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s our favorite day of the week in the Mini Mansion: Thirsty Thursday. It’s just like every other day of the week, except more alliterative.

The show got goin’ this mornin’ with a talk about our dear Andrea’s health. She’s gonna try to tough it out through her stomach pains, and we know she’s done it before. At least this one doesn’t involve the police.

We then talked with our ol’ buddy Mr. Skin, who showed us all things celebrity nudity, including the ever-popular Skin shows “Californication,” and “Masters of Sex.” Those are two of those rare shows that seem to do most of the leg work for us… maybe it should be called “skin work.”

Next, we brought in Charles Baker, best known as ‘Skinny Pete’ from the show “Breaking Bad,” who is promoting his new show “Murder in the First” on TNT. Charles plays shady characters very well, but we wanted to see how good he is at recognizing naughty behavior. So, we brought in our models for a little game we call Innocent Until Proven Filthy, where we hear real stories from one of these girls and try to pin it on the guilty one. Just think of it as a sexier “Usual Suspects.”

charlesbaker

We took a short break and then came back with Erika filling in for an ailing Andrea.

Then, it was time to bring in Riff Raff, rapper extraordinaire, to talk about his new album “NEON iCON.” He may not look it, but he’s a hard-working dude and knows talent when he sees it, which is why we brought in our models-turned-aspiring-rappers to drop some fresh beats. The game’s called Doggy Freestyle, because the rhymes have to be spun from doggy style. Riff was even kind enough to give the girls some brand-new rapper names. They done changed the game.

riffcouch

Wednesday 8/6/14

Posted in Uncategorized on August 6, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Welcome to Wednesday, loyal viewers! The Playboy Morning Show had a great line-up for you today, so let’s get down like Charlie Brown.

We started the show today with a little contest for you out there in TV land… A simple staring contest, with a twist: your opponent is a pair of breasts. Think you’re up to the task of staring at boobs for as long as they can stare at you? Only one way to find out. Also, our lawyers ask that we tell you not to sit so close to the TV that you give yourself laser eye surgery.

After that, we went to the first of a few Nip Tips that we had in store. This nip-tacular facts all centered around the center of the boob (and, on guys, too, I guess…). We hope that you learned something and didn’t think that this was just another staring contest.

There’s a trend that’s popping up in wedding photos around the world: bridesmaid parties getting a little cheeky… by flashing their butts. In a segment we’re calling Wedding Flashers, our models came in and demonstrated the different types of group photos you can stage, and even one that catches the bride off guard. Do that one at your own risk.

We took a short break and then welcomed in John Lehr, from the Hulu show “Quick Draw,” which is hilarious and you should definitely check out. John’s been on with us before, but that was back before we were on TV, so if you were wondering what he looked like all those years ago… now you know.

john

While we had John in studio, we played a group of games called Quickie Draw, which featured a quick body-paint drawing, quick drawers changing, and a wet t-shirt duel. All in all, it seemed like the winner of this Wild West shoot-out was John, even though he was caught in the crossfire. We should all be so lucky.

girls johngirls after

Tuesday 8/5/14

Posted in Uncategorized on August 5, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s another Tip-Top, Titular Tuesday morning here in the Mini Mansion, and we’re ready to prove it.

We started the festivities today with a one-woman Howe To. Only Melissa is in today, and she’s got a shot to prove that she’s the brains behind the Twins. We gave her the chance to teach us about Rock, Paper, Scissors, and later, how to calculate a tip. The jury’s still out, but maybe we’ll hear from Carla before we let one of them be crowned the champion…

After that, we played a new game we’re calling Dick Pics. We checked out some pictures from around the world, of things that look slightly like male genitalia, and had our girls do their best to caption them, right off the top of their heads. The models’ heads, not the dicks’.

Next, we threw to a segment we recorded after yesterday’s show that featured Polygraph John and Kevin Zegers called Lie Detector Breast, where our models were put in the hot seat and had to answer questions from interrogators Kevin and Andrea. If only these things were allowed on first dates, it’d save us all a lot of time.

We took a short break and then welcomed in Mike Stud, rapper and Youtube sensation whose new album “Closer” dropped last month. Mike used to have aspirations to be a baseball star, but those were swept away when he had Tommy John’s Surgery.

mikestud

We wanted him to live his fantasy, and we let him pitch to our girls and then watch them hook up with each other; the further the ball goes, the further they go. It’s a nice visualization to an old-school metaphor, which is our real end goal here on the Morning Show.

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Monday 8/4/14

Posted in Uncategorized on August 4, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Bienvenidos to another muy bien week of Playboy Morning Shows. Viva Nudity!

We got things going this particular morning by checking out some peaches in China that are getting their own tiny panties to wear, in celebration of Chinese Valentine’s Day. It’s one of those rare instances where covering up something mundane actually makes it sexier. 

After that, we looked at the Emergency Bra, a regular bra that can, in case of nuclear meltdown, can be converted into a gas mask/radiation detector. Pretty nifty, especially if you live next to a power plant. We brought our models in and talked to them about their natural disaster experiences and what their fears are. That also happens to be a great line of questioning for a first date.

bewbs

We sent our girls away to build their own bras for different emergency situations, and welcomed in Danielle Greene, a regular here on the show who has an episode of “Naked Ambition” coming up. You can check that out Fridays right here on PlayboyTV. You don’t even have to change the channel or anything.

We took a short break and then welcomed in Kevin Zegers, the star of the FOX show “Gracepoint,” which premieres in October. We also couldn’t not talk about Kevin’s experience filming the “Air Bud” series of movies, and the other animal-related flicks that came along with it. 

kevin

Following that, our models came back in to show off their prototype emergency situation bras. We saw the Grappling Hook Bra, The Camel-Front water bottle bra, and the Illumi-bra, which allows you to see at night. All great ideas with practical applications. Send the blueprints away and get those puppies on the assembly line.

After the show, we played some Lie Detector Breast with our girls, Kevin Zegers, and (our favorite) Polygraph John. Check that out tomorrow!

lies

Thursday 7/31/14

Posted in Uncategorized on July 31, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s Thursday here in the Mini Mansion (and the rest of the world, I guess…), and we’ve got the best way to start your day right here!

The show began this fine morning with the first in our series of “Sextionary” words. Slang terms for sex have apparently been around for much longer than you would think, and they make way less sense than some of the ones we have now. We have a few guesses of what “giving a girl a green gown” means, but you probably don’t want to hear them. Anyway, our models came in and acted out some modern examples of sexual slang while Kevin and Andrea tried to guess what it was. Colloquialism sounds like a bad word, but it isn’t.

After that, we paid tribute to the technology of today, by celebrating the selfie. We’ve come a long way in the last decade, and we ran through all the ways hot chicks had to take pictures of themselves before the invention of camera phones. We saw some polaroids, sitting on a photocopy machine, and even simple tracing, and it made us realize… technology has a million practical applications, but it’s mostly just used for sex.

We took a short break, and then came back with a Battle of the Babes: Petite Women vs. Tall Women edition. After a Jug-o-War, Trampoline Trivia, and Posing with the Enemy, the Tall Women came out on top, which is surprisingly appropriate. 

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