Archive for April, 2013

Tuesday 4/30/13

Posted in Uncategorized on April 30, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Tuesday: Boo. Playboy Morning Show: YAY!

We started today off by debunking the most popular questions we receive here on the Morning Show once and for all. Actually, maybe “propagating” is a better word than “debunking”… but, nevertheless, we did talk about them, so give us some credit, sheesh.

After that, we brought in the lovely Hannah, Gigi, and Elise to participate in a round of “Lady and the Tramp Stamp,” where we tried to guess which (if any) of these girls had a lower-back tattoo based on questions we asked them. After a hard line of questioning, the question-mark blinders were taken off and it was revealed that only Gigi had one, even if it was ridiculously tiny, making Kevin the winner!

Then, we moved into the Lowell Down, where we give you the “Low-Down” on what’s going on in the news. A pizza guy who delivered a pizza even after his car was stolen, Australian scientists find that women think men are sexier after 10 days of not shaving, and Dubai police get a new car added to their force: a Ferrari. You can’t make this stuff up, people. Trust us, we’ve tried.

We finished the show today with a little game we liked to call “Create-Your-Own Bicreami.” If that seems confusing, don’t worry it’s quite simple: our three beautiful girls from before came back into the Mini Mansion to test out which creams made the best bikinis. As with all experiments here, this one involved little science and even less clothing, and the results were inconclusive. We sent our subjects away to continue in our April Showers, and get all that stuff off their chests. So to speak.

Monday 4/29/13

Posted in Uncategorized on April 29, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Hello one and all. Welcome to the start of another awesome week here at the Playboy Morning Show (and everywhere else in the world, we suppose…)! Let’s get rolling on the action, shall we?

We started today’s show off by talking on the phone with some rather polite Australians (it was 2 in the morning over there) about their new product: Fundawear. Get this: it’s underwear (for men and women) that you can download an app for, and it allows you to give pleasure to your significant other all the way across the world! Pretty neat, especially if you’re one of those “long distance” kind of couples. It might make you feel a little less far away (wink wink).

Following that, we brought in our lovely towel-clad maidens Ruby, Leia, Valerie, and Kat, to get to know them a little bit before we sent them out to continue our final few April Showers. We didn’t keep them from doing that for long, fortunately.

We next Skyped with our girl Traci and talked to her a little bit before setting her off on a “Skype-nger Hunt,” where we ask her to find things around her room while we watch from the webcam, all in only two minutes!

To round out the show, we intermittently checked in with our shower girls to see some shower sex positions and tips for that (and of course, demonstrations). So we hope you took notes, because these girls were pros.

Friday 4/26/13

Posted in Uncategorized on April 26, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Friday Morning Show Faithful!! It’s finally the weekend, so let’s get through this recap and we can commence to partying…

We kicked off the show today with a call from our pal Robin Leach from, who gave us the low-down on the finally summer-y strip in Sin City. A new club has finally opened up, that will also double as a restaurant, and other fanciful things that you can check out online.

We moved on to the Week in Sex, where we give you the sexual news from this weird world we live in. Wanna pleasure your lover from across the map? There’s an app for that… almost. It’s in beta, but it might be out soon, AND a 77-year-old woman is being sued for all the money (3.9 million dollars to be approximate) that her jilted lover had been “loaning” her all this time. Riiiiight…

Following all this craziness, we talked to Mr. Skin! He came by to tell us what The Big Wedding, Unfaithful, and Defiance all have in common: boobs. It’s boobs. Check out his site, as always, to stay right up on top of the best parts in the best parts of TV and film.

To close out the show we played a BFF Throwdown! We brought in the lovely Sarah and Amber (who, aside from being gorgeous, also happen to be total besties), to compete against Kevin and Andrea to see really who knew their best friend the best. After a long round of questions, dry erase boards… and some tears, Kevin and Andrea won by DQ and the girls were sent to the showers to continue the April Showers segment in the Mini Mansion. We’re more than doing our part for these may flowers.

Thursday 4/25/13

Posted in Uncategorized on April 25, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Thirsty Thursday, everyone! We’re almost to the weekend, can’t you just taste it? Heck, we’re gonna start partying now just because.

We started the show today by welcoming in a very, very special guest: Mr. William Shatner. If you don’t know who he is, what planet have you been living on? No, seriously, we assume he’s been there, too, so there’s really no excuse. Ol’ Bill was coming in to promote the “ Hollywood Charity Horse Show, Sponsored by Wells Fargo.” The title doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, but it’s for a good cause, so we’ll let it slide.

We figured, in our infinite wisdom, that Mr. Shatner knows more about sexy aliens than any other earthling, so we thought he would be the perfect guest judge for our “Hottest (illegal) Alien Pageant!” We brought in five (FIVE!!) beautiful women who were  here (against the law) from places all over the world. Representing Canada was Nikki, Siberia was Julia, Russia was Sascha, Twee from Vietnam, and Ali Rose from Spain. The first round was the intro, where we got to know the girls and why they chose to flee their country in favor of the USA.

Following that, we went on to the talent round, where Mr. Shatner judged things from yoga moves, to double-jointed hands, and even bona-fide Russian translation.

After that, we moved on to the topless Q&A round. After one last parade around the room, we concluded that Ms. Siberia (Julia) was the overall winner! Julia received her GREEN CARD, a “Sexy Alien” sash, tiara and the whole works.

If that’s not enough for you, don’t forget it’s still April and that means… April Showers! Waiting for the girls in the shower today was the most American thing since mom and baseball… apple pie! Brings a patriotic tear to the eye, doesn’t it?

Wednesday 4/24/13

Posted in Uncategorized on April 24, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Hump-dee-hump day, folks! Here’s to the week being half over:

We started the show today with an extra special surprise. We had Mike, a long-time fan of the show, in the studio and let him present a gift of flowers to Andrea… aww. How sweet. This isn’t the last we’re going to see of Mike today, though…

We continued the fun by jumping into the Lowell Down. We covered such enthralling topics as people getting in trouble for pulling wangs, a blind date carjacking, and others just as nefarious. Oh, the humanity!

Next, it was time to bring in the ladies: Kristin, Emily Rose, and Annette joined us in the Mini Mansion to help us play one of our all-time favorite games: Chick-tionary! We had these smokin’ hot babes get in touch with their artistic side… on each other’s bodies. As the game went on, we also talked with Nico Tortorella, who plays Jacob on “The Following.” Nico had quite a turn on this week’s episode, and we won’t spoil it for you, but we recommend you check it out.

We brought Mike back in to round out the show by joining in the Chick-tionary fun, and then even getting a little wet with the girls in our continuing April Showers! What a lucky guy.

Tuesday 4/23/13

Posted in Uncategorized on April 23, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Tuesday, folks! We had a real GRAND show for you today (that awful joke will become all-to-clear in just a few moments… read on if you dare)!

We kicked off the show by Skype-ing with Rafe Eric Biggs (PhD), the man whose thumb has become his surrogate penis since an accident left him paralyzed. Rafe gave us the low-down on what a thumb-gasm is like, and we here at the Morning Show are sold. Thumb-gasms all around!

Following that rousing study, we brought in Carter Lay (heir to the Lay’s Chip Company) to talk to Kevin about his snubbing in their recent contest. Carter (wisely) suggested he go to Pepsi. The saga continues. We also brought in Andy Bell (from Nitro Circus) and Jackson Rathbone (of Twilight fame), who (along with Carter) recently participated in a charity race sponsored by Toyota. Although none of them came out on top , we considered them experts enough to have them judge our…Celeb-titty Gran Prix! What’s that? Why, only the most prestigious topless race in all of… sports? Sure! We brought in the hot Charlotte, Woo, and Chelsie to be our race cars and speed around the Mini Mansion, pit stops and all, and see who was the fastest. Chelsie emerged as the clear victor, and was rewarded as only the best racers are: milk! We continued our April Showers with a post-race milk shower, and that closed out our show for the day. We can’t believe we didn’t come up with the milk thing ourselves, that idea rocks.

Monday 4/22/13

Posted in Uncategorized on April 22, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Monday, everybody! The only place that phrase isn’t an oxymoron is right here at the Playboy Morning Show, and we’ve got the stuff to back it up.

We started today by welcoming back our host with the most, Kevin, from his vacay! Then we got on with the rest of our lives.

We interspersed today’s program with a few helpful “Just the Tip”s about Earth Day (which is today, apparently). We had our lovely models Danielle and Molly come in studio to give us such hints. For example,  don’t give road head in a gas guzzler if the motor’s running, and plant a seed (because it’ll make your ass look good).

We then moved on to Good Naked/Bad Naked, where we give you the skinny on who got naked in public this weekend. It was a good day for Portland’s homeless ladies, who were given the A-OK to panhandle topless, and a not-so-good day for everybody who wants to do their shopping in the nude. That’s still frowned upon.

After that, it was time for the Lowell Down, where we give you our take on what’s going down in the news. If you’re over 230 lbs., be careful on where you tan: it might not happen. Also, if you’re going to do the “condom challenge” (the new meme that’s sweeping the darker corners of the internet), our advice to you is simple: don’t, just don’t do it. Seriously!

Finally, we wrapped up our show today with a segment we like to call “April Showers,” where our smokin’ hot Danielle and Molly do 4 challenges in order to determine how hot their minute-long shower gets to be: a failed challenge makes it colder, and a passed one makes it hotter. They did their best, and kept it at a lukewarm 50 degrees. Ok, wait, that’s actually pretty chilly.