Thursday 4/25/13

Happy Thirsty Thursday, everyone! We’re almost to the weekend, can’t you just taste it? Heck, we’re gonna start partying now just because.

We started the show today by welcoming in a very, very special guest: Mr. William Shatner. If you don’t know who he is, what planet have you been living on? No, seriously, we assume he’s been there, too, so there’s really no excuse. Ol’ Bill was coming in to promote the “priceline.com Hollywood Charity Horse Show, Sponsored by Wells Fargo.” The title doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, but it’s for a good cause, so we’ll let it slide.

We figured, in our infinite wisdom, that Mr. Shatner knows more about sexy aliens than any other earthling, so we thought he would be the perfect guest judge for our “Hottest (illegal) Alien Pageant!” We brought in five (FIVE!!) beautiful women who were  here (against the law) from places all over the world. Representing Canada was Nikki, Siberia was Julia, Russia was Sascha, Twee from Vietnam, and Ali Rose from Spain. The first round was the intro, where we got to know the girls and why they chose to flee their country in favor of the USA.

Following that, we went on to the talent round, where Mr. Shatner judged things from yoga moves, to double-jointed hands, and even bona-fide Russian translation.

After that, we moved on to the topless Q&A round. After one last parade around the room, we concluded that Ms. Siberia (Julia) was the overall winner! Julia received her GREEN CARD, a “Sexy Alien” sash, tiara and the whole works.

If that’s not enough for you, don’t forget it’s still April and that means… April Showers! Waiting for the girls in the shower today was the most American thing since mom and baseball… apple pie! Brings a patriotic tear to the eye, doesn’t it?

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