Archive for May, 2013

Friday 5/24/13

Posted in Uncategorized on May 24, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Friday, everybody! It’s finally here, and we had a brilliant show for you today.

We kicked off the show by talking to our friend Robin Leach. He broke down the things going on this weekend in Sin City, and a busy one it is, with Memorial Day right around the corner. A burlesque show, more DJ’s than you can shake a stick at, and a Michael Jackson hologram? Sounds cray.

This Week in Sex, we had a story about a Craigslist sex party, and a jilted lover taking a chomp out of her man’s junk, but we were interrupted!! Cookie Monster, longtime friend of the show, called in to talk with who he thought was Andrea, but was actually Jaron doing a bad impression. It got a little weird to say the least.

From there, we continued in a segment we like to call “Makin’ Bacon,” where Kevin presents to us a bacon-related giant leap for mankind, and Andrea gave us a sex-related one. We started with the bacon side of things, and talked to a guy from Seattle who makes bacon from pigs who have been fed weed. Insert lame pun about “pot bellied pigs” here. On the sexual side of things, we brought in our smokin’ hot models Gigi, Ruby, and Leia to talk to a glass dildo expert.

To round off the show, and say goodbye for a week, we had to have us a little race. The ladies revved up their dildos and raced across the table. Really exciting stuff, surprisingly. Anyway, we’ll see you guys in June!



Thursday 5/23/13

Posted in Uncategorized on May 23, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Thirsty Thursday, everybody! Let’s run through today’s show.

We started today off by talking with Mr. Skin, who talked about Game of Thrones (again, we know) and True Blood, which both had some ample nudity this week. Although Heather Graham doesn’t bare all in the new Hangover movie, some others do; but if you really want to see her naked, you could always watch Boogie Nights again.

We introduced our sexy ladies today: Kim, Amber, Sarah, and Erika who entered the Mini Mansion in towels to give us an early Memorial Day treat. We just as soon ushered them out to create their own Sunscreen-i, and we checked in periodically to see how those were coming along.

Next, we welcomed in funny man Orlando Jones, who was in to promote his new web-series “Tainted Love,” which is part live-action, part comic book animation.


Orlando also helped us judge the Sunscreenis when they came back into the studio, and they gave us their best beach sun-safety tips. After voting, we declared Erika our summertime fact queen. Expect more super helpful tips soon!



Wednesday 5/22/13

Posted in Uncategorized on May 22, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Hump Day, folks. We had a lot of stuff going on in today’s show, so let’s not dawdle.

We kicked off the show by welcoming our Miss June 2013, Audrey Allen into the studio. The 21-year old Colorado resident who shot her spread in Malibu giggled her way through the interview and then moved on to the Playmate Pick Six. We brought in Maria to serve as our number model, and had Audrey pick questions off of her, as she tried to get a perfect score.



From there, we decided that this young lady could use a little bit of advice from a seasoned bunny. It just so happens that we had Charles Fleischer, the voice of Roger Rabbit, in the studio to help her get on the right track to hare-related fame. Charles is also a stand-up comedian and is starting his World Comedy Tour tomorrow, right here in Burbank.


Recently, Charles just had a hot dog at the world-famous Pink’s named after him. So, we brought in our lovely models Krystin, Emily Rose, Valerie, and Maria to build their own Jessica Rabbit inspired hot dogs. Bunnies, Rabbits, and Dogs, Oh My!





Tuesday 5/21/13

Posted in Uncategorized on May 21, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Hey, guys. Welcome to Tuesday. We had a stellar show today, and we’ve got words upon words to prove it.

We started the show off with an upsetting fact: a recent survey has found that 10% of women lie about their breast size! We’ll give you a moment to come to grips with the harsh reality that we exist in… But we decided to dedicate our show today to uncovering the truth! There’s nothing sexier than the naked truth.

But before we do that, we had to say goodbye to some boobs. Don’t worry, though, some NEW ones have taken their place. Destiny, one of our super hot regulars, recently had a boob job, and we said “Boob Voyage” to her old pair with a very tastefully done In Memoriam. But, the sadness quickly turned to celebration when we gave her fresh D’s their very own Boob-tism. We blessed them, named them, and sent them on their merry way. And, lo, it was good.

From there, we welcomed in a man named John, who is a professional polygraph tester for our very own “Lie Detector Breast.” We brought in Lindsey, Annette (who’s our cyber girl of the month), and Destiny as well to participate in an interrogation. We put up a hard line of questioning, and no cop was the good cop.

Monday 5/20/13

Posted in Uncategorized on May 20, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Hello, folks! We’re ready to start another awesome week here at the Playboy Morning show, and we hope you will join us.

We started off the show by recapping Andrea’s wonderful weekend in Vegas, and getting into all the debauchery that went down.

From there, we brought in the lovely Danielle, Eva, and Jade to be interviewed and then participate in the second leg of our Triple Crowning: the Pinkness! The ladies were hand-measured and then given some time to paint themselves (you know, to make themselves more aerodynamic).


We checked in quickly with the Lowell Down, and then it was time to start the race. The jockeys got to their starting positions and answered questions to move forward on the track. It was quite a race, but Danielle, the winner of our Come-Fuck-Me Derby came out ahead again! We may have a Triple Crowning on our hands, but there’s still one more race to go.



Friday 5/17/13

Posted in Uncategorized on May 17, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Friday, folks! Some of us thought it would never come, but alas, it’s finally the weekend. Let’s wrap this wrap-up up and then we can all be on our merry way, yes?

We started off the show by tooting our own horn. How is that different from any other day, you ask? Well, what we mean to say is that we feel we’ve contributed to the world and made it a better place… by popularizing twerking. But more on that later.

Next we talked to our man on all things Vegas, Robin Leach (of of course). This weekend, Tiger is hosting his “Tiger Jam” (insert joke here), and the Billboard awards are welcoming Prince and Madonna. But all that pales in comparison to the fact that our very own Andrea Lowell will be at a topless pool party as Sapphire! So, now you HAVE to go.

From there we dove right into the week in sex, and boy what a week it was. Apparently a guy in Taiwan cut all of his genitals off during a dispute with his girlfriend, a bee-sex story out of Sweden is fake, and a couple others that just make you scratch your head. This world be crazy, ya’ll.

As many of you may already be painfully aware, the PowerBall just keeps going up and up, and so we thought we’d lend you a hand (metaphorically speaking) in picking out the winning numbers. We had our lovely models Danielle, Chelsie, Woo, and Cody come in and titty pick four separate numbers, and had Andrea round out the last one and the powerball as well. The lucky numbers were 24,30,29,4,59 and the powerball was 17. Good luck! You’ll need it.


Lastly, we played a new fun game here called “Guess That (alleged) Perv,” where we showed four mugshots and everyone guessed which crime matched the face they saw. Can you judge a (innocent until proven guilty) perv by its cover? Apparently you can! to celebrate that fact, and the weekend coming, we had ourselves a little twerk ho-down. You’re welcome.



Thursday 5/16/13

Posted in Uncategorized on May 16, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Thirsty Thursday, everybody! This weekly holiday helps the world get by, and serves as an early Friday. Who can argue with that?

We kicked off the show today by talking with Mr. Skin! Our old friend talked with us about what’s “good” in the world of TV and Film this week, and there were few surprises (unless you’ve been Unabomber status out in the woods or something): Nurse Jackie and Game of Thrones were the main topics of conversation. One thing that was very out of the ordinary was an artist’s conception of a nude Bea Arthur. So there’s that.

After that, we broke down the news in The Lowell Down. Stories this week included a cop getting stuck up a tree along with a kitten, underwear that hides your crack (how novel), and the continuing saga of the Mars expedition that has to date gotten applications from over 78,000 willful astronauts.

Following that, we had a lovely little Skype-enger Hunt with our cyber girl Kella Dawn. Kella is a brunette now, and did very well in finding small g-strings and ice around her home. Well played, indeed.

Next, we got our thinking caps out and brought in the super sexy Krystin and Samantha to play a round of Hefardy! The categories ranged from Female Body Parts to US Geography, and the ladies tested their knowledge all while bearing their bodies. Don’t ever say they’re a one-trick pony.



Wednesday 5/15/13

Posted in Uncategorized on May 15, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Hump Day, everybody! For those of you who weren’t able to watch the show live on Playboy TV or listen in on, there’s still hope. We’ll let you know what happened, have no fear.

Our entire show today was devoted to our new queen-among-mortals: Raquel Pomplun. In case you’ve been living under a rock, Raquel is our newest Playmate of the Year 2013! She was Miss April 2012, and now she’s been giving Playboy’s highest honor. She got $100,000 AND a new Jaguar F-type, and we just couldn’t be more proud… Sorry, we promised ourselves we wouldn’t cry.

She also happens to be the first Mexican-American PMOY, and we had Maurice, our nervous Mexican IT guy, try to express his excitement at his people finally having such a great honor. At press time, he’s still trying to spit it out, so don’t hold your breath.

From here, we brought in four beautiful models: Krissy, Samantha, Danielle, and Gigi. These ladies would love to be in Raquel’s shoes (but who wouldn’t ), and so we gave them our own sort of PMOY Boot Camp, right here in the Mini Mansion. We put each girl through the model-wringer in four separate challenges while they fought to keep their sexy composure. Raquel gave each of them super helpful tips as they conquered the “Sour Shower,” “Hot Rod/Hot Pepper,” “Extreme Weather,” and “Who’s in the Bed?” It really makes you respect models more. There’s more to it than being really, really, ridiculously good-looking.





Tuesday 5/14/13

Posted in Uncategorized on May 14, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Welcome to Tuesday! Let’s get to re-capping this show…

We started today off by Skype-ing someone who’s been in the news a good deal lately: the ex-English teacher turned model Victoria James. This Floridian lost her job when racy pictures of her surfaced online, as she was supplementing her lowly teacher’s salary by modeling on the side. According to her, this publicity might just be the best thing that’s happened to her, as her career is now just starting to take off, as she takes off her clothes.

Next, we welcomed into the studio comedian Finesse Mitchell, who is promoting a new show on TBS called “Who Gets the Last Laugh?”. That airs tonight at 10/9c so be sure to check that out! Finesse has also been on SNL and is constantly touring and doing stand-up.


After that we brought in our lovely models Bianca, Jade, and Erica to compete in our Coochie Casino, where Kevin, Andrea, and Finesse all fed their horrible gambling addiction and bet on which girls did certain activities. It went back and forth, but the house always wins, and somehow the girls all ended up without even the clothes they walked in with. Let that be a lesson about betting, children.



Monday 5/13/13

Posted in Uncategorized on May 13, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Monday, everybody! We’re ready to start another sexy week here in the Mini Mansion, and we hope you will join us.

We started the show off today by welcoming back ol’-what’s-his-name, Karl. I mean, Kevin. Yes! Kevin’s back from his Panamanian Adventures in whore-land, and gave us the scoop on how they do things waaay south of the border. Apparently, if you’re looking for an all-expenses prostitute vacay spot, then Panama is the country for you.

Enough about that! It’s the day after Mother’s Day, and we’ve invented our own little holiday tradition here at the Morning Show: M.I.L.F’s Day. It happens the day after Mother’s Day, and it celebrates all those hot moms out there in the world. Strap yourselves in, it’s about to get Oedipal.

Firstly, we called up one of the hottest moms on the planet (and not just because she lives in Florida): Jamie Edmonson. You may remember Jamie from such things as the January 2010 edition of Playboy Magazine, and also Your Dreams. We called her on the phone and had her give us an idea of what it’s like to be both a Playmate and Play-date-mate (it’s a stretch, but we’re sticking to it). Everything from baby weight, to breastfeeding were discussed, and let’s just say, it sounds like this bunny has got this mothering thing down.

Following that, we welcomed into the studio some MILFs of our own: the beautfiul Lindsey and Nicole. These hot little mamas came in and participated in a stroller obstacle course, a mom-next-door striptease, every stereotype you can think of, we had them do that for you. It only comes once a year, so we had to squeeze as much in as possible. What?