Archive for September, 2013

Monday 9/30/13

Posted in Uncategorized on September 30, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Monday, ya’ll. The week has begun anew, and our show begins a-nude.

We started things off today by beginning our week-long countdown of the top 10 party schools in the country by revealing number 10: University of Maryland! Congrats, guys. You made it.

After that, it was time for the dramatic conclusion to our “Breaking Bras” mini-mini series, and we’re sad to see it go… but we love to watch it leave. It was revealed that the whole Heisenbra plot was all just a crazy dream… or was it?? You decide.

Next, we ran through our titty picks up to this point, and saw how well Andrea’s girls are doing so far. We also checked the Noggin vs. Nipple score, where Kevin’s brain takes on Andrea’s boobs, and so far Andrea’s got a slight lead.

Following the football picks, it was time for Good Naked/Bad Naked, where we heard news stories about stuff like naked fashion-haters crashing a runway in Paris, cops making people strip in their cells, and folks getting nude in a haunted house. So, pretty much all par for the course there.

After a quick break, we came back to reveal the number 9 party school in the country: Arizona State! Those devilish Sun Devils and their debauchery…

Finally, it was time to welcome DJ Peanut Butter Wolf into the studio, who is promoting a documentary about his life called “Our Vinyl Weighs a Ton.” He’s the ringleader of indie hip-hop label Stones Throw Records, and has worked with the likes of Snoop, Common, ?uestlove from the Roots, and many more cool homies. We figured that since he’s from the streets, maybe we could try out some rap-inspired tweets from our hotties and see if they have any that he likes. We welcomed in Lauren, Ruby, and Christine to test their rhyming skills and see who has the best Tweet from the Street.

Friday 9/27/13

Posted in Uncategorized on September 27, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Friday one and all! It’s starting to feel a bit like Fall outside, and we’ve got your daily dose of pumpkins.

We started things off today by talking with Robin Leach on the phone, who gave us the Vegas to-do this weekend. Check out for all the dirty details.

Next, we checked in with our second-to-last installment of “Breaking Bras,” where it looks like the bra business is booming, but Heisenbra has been kidnapped! The dramatic conclusion will happen Monday, after the real show has its farewell episode the night before, so stay tuned!

Next, we ran through the Week in Sex with Andrea, who had another scary story about the ball-eating fish (wear trunks, guys), and a monkey who got handsy with an interviewer. Hard to blame the little guy.

After a quick break, we came back to welcome in our models Eneida, Sam, and Mary Jane to talk with them quickly about how to make any set of lingerie sexier with just a few simple tucks and tugs.

Following the lesson, we brought in our guests for today: the fabulous pin-up models Ivy De la Muerta, Kira Von Sutra, and Red Dodge to talk about tattoos and what drew them to the vintage style. After a burlesque routine courtesy of Kira, we had our pin-ups get into their best pose and brought our own models back in to play Pin the Tail on the Pin-up! The blindfolded models tried their best to find the backsides of the pin-ups and give them a new accessory.



Pinups1 Pinups2 Pinups3


Finally, it was time for Andrea’s boobs to go up against Kevin’s head… not literally, it’s Lick ’em, Stick ’em, and Pick ’em! We’ll have to check back after the games this weekend to see who comes out on top: brains… or bust.


Thursday 9/26/13

Posted in Uncategorized on September 26, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Thirsty Thursday! Just because summer is over, don’t forget to still drink lots of water… and other liquids too.

We began the show today by talking with Mr. Skin, who ran us through his naked minute as per usual. We saw Tina Fey’s nip slip at the Emmy’s, Cameron Diaz’s various “nip slips” throughout film, and “Sons of Anarchy” showing a lil’ behind on basic cable. Racy stuff for channels with commercials.

Next, we continued our “Breaking Bras” saga, with the revelation that a third gang will be making its way toward Heisen-bra’s secret recipe, led by a hot chick in a chair with a bell on it. What will happen next? Even we don’t know.

After that, we welcomed in Cara Quici, who has a new song out entitled “FIGHT,” which is a cover of the Beastie Boys song “Fight (For Your Right to Party).” Her video’s on Youtube, and you should definitely check it out.

We took a quick break after the interview, and then we played our “Play-zing” in our Playboy Sorority. Our sexy models Sara, Tawny, and Courtney came in and spun the wheel of destiny to determine what exactly they had to do in order to prove their loyalty to T-I-T. We’re goin’ Greek!

Wednesday 9/25/13

Posted in Uncategorized on September 25, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Middle of the week, let’s get over the hump.

Today we began things by checking in with our Fall Goddess, Lindsey Love! She came into the studio throughout the show to continue our seasonal Just the Tips, just in time for the start of Fall. The leaves are changing, and so should your sexual habits.

Next, it was time for Makin’ Bacon. Andrea called Jack Romanski, who invented a sexual toy for men and women, that has won several awards in the adult toy industry. The toy has two heads that are maleable, and six different settings from two quiet motors. For individuals, or couples… or more, probably.

In conjunction with Andrea’s finding of this new toy with a restaurant in Philly that has come out with bacon cheesecake, along with a plethora of other bacon-infused desserts and meals. No matter how good the sex toy is, how is it that bacon always sounds better? Scientists, we await your findings.

After that, it was time for our latest “Breaking Bras” segment, wherein the opponents of Heisen-bra are trying to peddle their lesser wares to the unclothed ladies of (what we can only assume is) New Mexico. When the ladies aren’t having their cheap knock-off bras, the only choice to be made is to kill Heisen-bra… Dun dun dunnn.

We took a quick break, and then it was time for Lauren, Leia, and Lisa to play an all L-named round of the universe’s longest-running naked game show, Know it or Show it! The categories today ranged from Breaking Bad, things that have been inside Andrea, and the new iPhone, and the game ended in its usual fashion: no fashion! As in, no clothing. As in, naked. Boobies.

Tuesday 9/24/13

Posted in Uncategorized on September 24, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Hello Folks! Welcome to our show’s blog. Please read carefully, as there will be a test.

It’s Topless Tuesday, and as such we introduced our lovely ladies and their measurements. Paula, Wendy, and Cassandra turned in their chairs Voice-style, in a tease of a segment coming later in the show…

Next, it was time to finish up the Femmy awards that  we didn’t get to yesterday, as we went over time (just like a real award show!). Our best actor Femmy went to Richard Simmons (how apropos) and we looked back at all the clothes we lost this past year. We won’t miss those clothes even a little bit.

After that, we chatted with Rob Corry on the phone. Rob’s whole deal is that he handed out joints to victims of the floods in Colorado, and says it really brightened people’s days. Rob is also raising awareness in hopes of shutting down a marijuana tax bill that’s set to be voted on in November. Don’t space on the date, groovy people.

Following that, we checked in with our latest episode of “Breaking Bras,” where Heisen-bra and his assistant cooked up their best batch of blue bras yet! Wow, say that five times fast.

After a short break we talked to Christine Lee on Skype all the way from Miami, Florida for another rousing Skype-enger hunt. We had Christine running all around  her pad looking for sexy things to spank herself with and different lingerie to jump in and out of.

Finally, it was time for our take on the singing reality show “genre,” with the Fuck-Me Voice! Kevin and Andrea turned around in their chairs and we had our girls come in and try to seduce them into turning their chairs around and picking them for their team based solely on the sexiness of their voices. In a few weeks, maybe we’ll even have a little showdown of the sultry, smoky sirens. Wow. Lots of alliteration today.

Monday 9/23/13

Posted in Uncategorized on September 23, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Monday, folks! We had a great show to start off this brand new week, so let’s get to it.

We started things off today by checking out a clip from our new hit show “Breaking Bras,” where the notorious Heisen-bra has been making signature blue bras that are super popular with the ladies. Stay tuned all this week for more installments in our mini-mini series.

Next, it was time to go through the Week in Sex, where we heard stories ranging from a naked man/woman on a bike, prison guards sexting each other, and naked college students swinging around on a wrecking ball a la the Miley Cyrus video. College kids, you so crazy.

After that, we welcomed in Anson Mount, from the hit show “Hell on Wheels” on AMC. He talked about his Playboy connection, which is his father, a long time sports editor for our fine magazine, and also chatted about how AMC keeps knocking it out of the park with their shows.

Finally, it was time for our Femmy Awards! As we did not receive any actual awards at the Emmy’s last night, we decided to make our own award show right here in the studio. We gave out awards to things we’ve seen on our show in the past, and boy have there been some great ones, some naked ones, and sometimes even both.


Friday 9/20/13

Posted in Uncategorized on September 20, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s Friday! We’ll help you make it freaky.

Today we began things by checking out a quick bit we filmed, asking men in line for the new iPhone to come along with us and see some boobies for their spot in line. We had no takers. Not even Kevin, surprisingly. Well we hope they’re happy with their technology that’ll last three months until the next one comes out. Boobies are forever, don’t forget that.

Next, we talked to Robin Leach on Skype to get the low-down on Vegas goings-on this weekend. Britney’s back, bitch! She’s rocking out in a new show that also features a club at the front of the theater? Pretty sweet combo. Also, the IHeartRadio festival is going on with Justin and Britney. Maybe they’ll rekindle some of that old romance. Although, that is admittedly unlikely.

After that, it was time to continue saying goodbye to the twerk. We saw the likes of the Roll-ho, Assquake, and Pop n’ Shake today. Do any of them have a chance of being the next dance craze? Time will tell.

Following those shenanigans, it was time to do the Week In Sex, where we run down this week’s sexual news stories and pass the savings on to you. Today we heard a horror story about a man who had to get his penis amputated because he took too much Viagra, and another about masturbation becoming legal on beaches in Sweden. We live in a crazy world.

Finally, we got to our Summer goddess passing of the torch! Erika has been holding it down as our Summer Goddess, but unfortunately today summer ends. We brought in our ladies Lindsey, Kat, and Bri to see if they could convince her to pass the crown on to them. In order to see who is most worthy, we had them construct bikinis out of leaves in a continued effort to make a sexy swimsuit out of every substance known to man.  To test their durability, we turned the fans on full blast and saw which bikinis stayed on and which floated away on the breeze. We’re not sure which way is better, so we’ll find out next week who our Fall goddess will be.

fall leafkini

At the very end, if you are a Cowboys, 49ers, or Texans fan, Andrea’s titties like your odds this weekend.


Thursday 9/19/13

Posted in Uncategorized on September 19, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s Thursday! In some odd circles, it’s known as “practice Friday.”

We started things off today by talking with Mr. Skin, for all things celebrity nudity. Showgirls 2 just came out on Blu-Ray, and the hi-def version will allow you to see more than ever before (if that’s even possible), and subscription channels just keep knocking it out of the park with nakedness. Sounds like it’s worth the extra scratch, eh?


Throughout the show today, we checked in with our lovely ladies Ruby, Carolina, Lindsey, and Valerie as they came up with new dance moves to replace twerking, as it’s too mainstream and if there’s one thing we are… it’s ahead of the curve. Or curves… Anyway! If you happen to see any of these moves at the club this weekend, don’t be alarmed, and just try and do your best to fake it ’til you make it.

Next, we talked with Nick Chipman, from, who recently invented the “McEverything,” where you buy everything possible at McDonald’s and then stack it one on top of the other. It’s around four feet tall and 140 dollars, and TOTALLY WORTH IT.


After a short break, it was time for our Decath-a-LAWN, where we had our beautiful models come back in and play a plethora of games that were inspired by our recent spread in this month’s issue of Playboy. Lawn Bowling, Badminton, Flying Disc (Frisbee), and anything else you can play on your front or back yard, only ours is better because it comes with naked girls. That could be our theme for like every show.

lawn lawn2



Wednesday 9/18/13

Posted in Uncategorized on September 18, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Hump Day! If you’re having trouble getting through the week, hopefully this can distract you (even for just a few seconds)…

We started things off today by doing A FULL TWELVE MINUTES OF BOTTOMLESS ANDREA! Unfortunately, we don’t think anyone saw it. Technical difficulties, man… they happen at the most inopportune times.

After that little hiccup, we heard from a few ladies who thought they had the next dance craze on lock. We are officially declaring the death of twerking, and saw a few dances that could maybe take its place. We’ll have to wait and see if any catch on.

Next, it was time to check out our In-Flight  Safety Video, and see how much better it is after we sex-i-fy it. Better? Yes. More informative? We weren’t really listening.

Finally, we welcomed Luenell into the studio. You may recognize her best from “Borat,” but she’s been touring as a stand-up and is KILLING it. She’s quite hilarious. We then welcomed in Nicole, Katie, and Christine to play a round of “Chicktionary” with our awesome guest.





Tuesday 9/17/13

Posted in Uncategorized on September 17, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Topless Tuesday’s back! Oh, it’s been too long.

We started things off today by talking about the dirtiest thing about a woman: her bag! Apparently, it’s usually pretty bad, and can carry around a bunch of disease. C’mon ladies. Get it together.

Next, we did another one of our patented “Sexifying America” segments, with this time’s installment being In-Flight Safety videos. Those videos are always super boring, and people don’t even pay attention anyway, so we figured we could get people to listen up in our own special way: with boobies.


After that, we welcomed in Sammy Obeid, who is a stand-up comedian who is just now almost wrapped up with 1,000 straight days of comedy. We were honored to be one of the last stops on his amazing journey, and salute his devotion to his craft.


All grandiose statements aside, we figured it could be fun to try our own hand at 1,000 seconds of NUDITY. We had our super sexy ladies Ali Rose and Kimberly come in and play around with all of our random props for over 16 minutes, and even tried to distract Sammy while he gave us some jokes from his set. His focus is battle-tested, for sure.