Archive for November, 2013

Friday 11/22/13

Posted in Uncategorized on November 22, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Friday, everybody! And Happy (early) Thanksgiving, too! We’re off next week, so we’re giving you a pre-view of what you can expect around your table this year. Probably with less hot chicks, though…

We started things off by adding our own voice to the discussion of the video of Jean Claude van Damme doing the  splits on those moving trucks. Pretty cool stuff, but not enough boobs for our taste. We welcomed in our models Helenea, Crystal, and Giustina to attempt their own version, and you know what, they actually did a pretty good job. Good teamwork, ladies.



After that, it was time for another item on this month’s Playboy’s Fuck-It List. This time, we gave you all the info on how you can make your own custom wine. For 5 grand, that’s pretty cool, and we had Steve Ryan from the Wine Foundry on Skype to talk to us about the varietals he made just for our show! If you like wine, this is something you definitely should give  whirl.

winerskype wine

Next, we welcomed in Kathy and Richard Wakile and Rosie Pierri from the hit Bravo TV show “The Real Housewives of New Jersey.” They talked about what it’s like living their lives on TV, what Rosie finds attractive in a lady, and we even helped her practice for her upcoming interview stint at the AMA’s. They even enjoyed some of our wine, because they’re Italian and that’s their thing.



Following a short break, we went into the Friday Awards where Crack, Cuddling, and the clothing we lost were all honored and took home the coveted Golden Weird Gymnastics Lady trophy. Even the trophy got a little cuddle action this week.

Finally, it was time to Give Thanks for the final time before Thanksgiving, with Pumpkin Pie. On the phone we talked to Dr. Alan Hirsch, who is a smell and taste doctor (where do we sign up for that job?), who told us that pumpkin pie is the number one scent that turns men on, so we decided to play a game of “Hump-kin Pie.” In this game, our models came in and could only eat the pie without their hands, while getting humped by another girl. If that Pumpkin Pie doesn’t turn you on, maybe check your pulse.


Anyway, we’re off next week, so Happy Thanksgiving, and we’ll see you in December.


Thursday 11/21/13

Posted in Uncategorized on November 21, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Thursday, everybody. We had a jam-packed show, so let’s get down to it.

We started things off today by doing the first of many check-ins on our Cuddle Cam, where our girls were taking short naps and testing out various cuddle positions. Aww…

Next, it was time to talk to Mr. Skin, who gave us a peek at all the celeb nudity from his site. This week, he showed some paparazzi photos of a certain big-boobed “Mad Men” star, and a new star in the “Hunger Games” series who bared all back in 2009, so be sure to check it out!

After that, we welcomed in Josh Hiller from Roadstoves, the service that rents out trucks so that people can start their own Food Truck business. Joining him was Taylor from Steel City Sandwiches, one of the trucks you can find driving around Los Angeles. Check out November’s Playboy to see this dream become attainable for YOU, on the “Fuck-it List.”

We took a short break, and then we Skyped with Samantha Hess, who is a professional cuddler out of Portland, Oregon. Our models Crystal, Cody, and Veronica came in and tested out some of her patented professional moves, and saw how they compared to some of their favorites.

Finally, we welcomed in Problem and Bad Lucc, who are two rappers with a new song called “Understand Me.” They chatted about the time Problem got a handjob on stage, and then helped judge our next installment in Thanksgiving Food, TURKEY. Arguably the most important dish of the day, we had our sexy models do some hand-turkey drawings on each others’ boobs. Final food is tomorrow, so be sure to tune and check it out…

Wednesday 11/20/13

Posted in Uncategorized on November 20, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s Wiener Wednesday. That’s not really a thing yet, but we’re trying to make it stick. #wienerwednesday is in your hands…

The show began today with another lovely Playwalking segment with November Playmate Gemma Lee. Just because someone is from New Zealand doesn’t mean that they don’t know what Super Sizing means. #wienerwednesday.

After that, we had girls come in to do a little Morning Show Confession with Sister Mary Andrea and Rabbi Kevin. The topic of confession this week was small penis stories (#wienerwednesday), and the girls admitted their true feelings upon seeing small penises in their past. After a short blessing and tithe of their bras, they were cleansed.

confessions confessions1


Next, we welcomed in Patrick Moote, from the film “Unhung Hero,” which follows his trials and tribulations around having a small penis himself (#wienerwednesday). We heard what it was like to have his marriage proposal rejected in front of millions, and the search for the truth that followed to see if size really mattered.

We took a quick break and welcomed in Brian Spitz, the director of the movie, to offer his perspective on the penis-growing methods seen in the film. Then, it was time to for our lovely models Lauren, Lindsey, and Emily to try some breast-enhancing techniques of their own. Everything from magic lotion, to vibration, and simply slapping them was tried, and we’re not sure if they worked, but they sure were hypnotizing to watch, if you know what we mean… #wienerwednesday.


Tuesday 11/19/13

Posted in Uncategorized on November 19, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Topless Tuesday, folks! Lose the shirts and let’s get to it.

We started things off by chatting with our models Paris, Lauren, Charlotte, and Sandra about their experience with athletes and rodeos, as they will be testing their skills later in the show.


On that note, we welcomed in Darcy LaPier, rodeo racer extraordinaire, whose new show “Rodeo Girls” on A&E premieres next month. The show follows the drama around the lives of five super hot cowgirls, and looks pretty wild, so be sure to check it out.

Since Darcy is such an expert, we had our models come back in and get into the saddle… literally. Each girl tried their hand at riding, lassoing, and hot-tying and then gave the single Darcy a little bit of new-age dating advice. See, everybody’s got something they’re good at.

hathorses onhorses

After a tiny break, we talked on the phone with Chris Krolow, the CEO of Private Islands, Inc. In the November issue of Playboy, there’s an article entitled the “Fuck-It List,” where services that you’d only think the super-rich could afford, but it turns out it’s cheaper than you think. See where we’re going with this? For the price of a Hyundai, you could own a small island! You can’t drive a small island to work, but who would want to when you could just chill on your island all day? Especially after watching what a few naked girls could do to the landscape.


Finally, to continue our Thanksgiving food countdown, we had our island beauties make some String Bean-kinis. And just when you thought we ran out of items to make bikinis out of, too.



after aftergals

Monday 11/18/13

Posted in Uncategorized on November 18, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Monday, folks. It’s a brand new week, but more importantly, we here at the Playboy Morning Show are celebrating our 400th episode! Woo hoo! We’re pretty stoked, and throughout the show today, we featured Shout-Outs from some of our Playmate Friends, and peeked into the Vault at some of our favorite moments of the past 399 episodes. 400 episodes is a lot of boobies, guests, and calls from shut-ins, and we’re glad that you all could share them with us.

Aside from all the celebratory hoopla, we also had some segments to get to. The first of the day came to us from Krista, who shared with us her Muff-progress throughout Muff-vember. Blondes have to try extra hard when it comes to growing visible body hair, so we appreciate her effort. Don’t give up now, the month’s already half over!

We also had a special surprise guest bring us in a 400th episode cake, and it turned out to be none other than Fat Sal of Fat Sal’s Sandwiches. His Big Fat Fatty Sandwich was one of Andrea’s favorite Feastiality’s and he also is an expert on gravy, which happened to be our Thanksgiving Food of the Day.


Since gravy was on the menu, we thought it would be appropriate to take water off list of main ingredients in wet t-shirt contests, and let gravy have a turn. That’s right, it’s a Gravy T-Shirt Contest, and with Fat Sal’s expert commentary, the girls actually did a pretty good job of it.


Lastly, to put the icing on the cake, we had one of our models jump INTO a cake. The jumping out of the cake is so played out.

Thanks again for 400 episodes and here’s to 400 more!


Friday 11/15/13

Posted in Uncategorized on November 15, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s almost the weekend, and I don’t have enough energy to even finish my… my uh– you know, my uh… my… thoughts.

Anyway! We had a great show today, and it all started with a little chat with Robin Leach about all things Vegas. Robin’s staying at an undisclosed Los Angeles hotel at the moment, and was rockin’ his complimentary bathrobe like he didn’t intend to give it back. And we support that.

Next, we heard from some ladies about sexy Vegas stories that they’ve had over the years. They say that things that happen there stay there, but that usually only works if you don’t tell anyone. We sympathize… if we were as hot as Amber, Miranda, Lindsey, or Kourtnee, we’d want the world to know of our exploits too.


After that, it was time for the Week In Sex! Andrea gave us the news around the sexy world, like the fact that you can now get male chastity belts in cool colors like camouflage. So if you were waiting for the camo one, your patience paid off. You’ll need it.

We took a short break and then it was time for the Friday Awards! We heard about artistry, clothing we’ve lost, and the bald moment of the week. Patting yourself on the back technically counts as touching yourself, right?

Finally, we rolled through another helping of the Playboy Morning show giving thanks with food! The item du jour was mashed potatoes, and the ladies had to sculpt the breasts of the girl next to them, using only their hands and their blind artistic sensibilities.  Turns out mashed po-titties actually end up looking pretty accurate. Your move, sculptors…

thanks boobs

Thursday 11/14/13

Posted in Uncategorized on November 14, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Thirsty. Throwback. Practice Friday. Call it what you will. It’s Thursday. Let’s get to the show.

We began things today by checking in on another one of our beautiful models’ progress for Muff-vember. She’s actually had some success growing the horizontal hair patch down there, and even has a respectable Dali look going on. Keep it up, ladies. You’re halfway there.


After that, we chatted on the phone with Mr. Skin, who highly recommends finding “Blue Is The Warmest Color” in its limited theatrical release, because it’s got some hot girl-on-girl for about 12 minutes. Mercy.

Next, we welcomed in Sanaa Lathan, from the new film “The Best Man Holiday,” which hits theaters this Friday. Sanaa talked about what it’s like doing a sequel 15 years later, and the size of everybody’s trailers on set. Actors are very territorial.

sanaa sanaaafter


After a short break, we Titty-Picked tonight’s Colts/Titans football game. Andrea went with the Titans for the upset, and Kevin played it safe with the Colts. We’ll have to wait ‘n see.

Next, to celebrate Hawaii’s recent same-sex marriage law by playing a round of Hawaiian Lesbian Chicken! We welcomed in Chelsie and Rachel, who are actually both bisexual in real life, so you know they’re gonna be in it to win it. Each girl made a move, and then the other responded, getting more and more seductive at every turn. Eventually Rachel tapped out and Chelsie was technically the winner, but I think we all win whenever Lesbian Chicken goes down. Good on you, Hawaii. If you want to see more Lesbian Chicken, make sure those laws pass in YOUR state. It’s up to you!

couchchicken couchchicken2

Finally, we continued our march toward Thanksgiving food madness by introducing our next ingredient: good ol’ corn. Instead of chowing down on an ear, we did a little mouth-to-thigh corn relay that ended at our specially decorated Thanksgiving card table. Just like where Mom still makes you sit after all these years.


Wednesday 11/13/13

Posted in Uncategorized on November 13, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Welcome to Wednesday! Let’s get over the hump.

We began things today by reminding people to continue to use November as an excuse to grow out a Muff-stache! We had Cody come into the studio to tell us about her progress so far, and her plans for the future. Keep at it, ladies.

After that, we read a few tweets from you guys featuring the hashtag #AssWednesday. Not really sure why that’s trending, but we’re not complaining over here. And we had the girls read the tweets with their butts for good measure. You brought this on yourselves.

Next, we talked on Skype with Lexi Sims, who is one of our Cyber Girls. We had Lexi do a Sexy Skype Scavenger Hunt in her home, which was already decked out in Christmas stuff. After the two minutes, she had completed a record 8 challenges! She and her cage lingerie should be proud.

lexi skype

We took a break for a couple minutes and then came back to play “Know It or Show It,” the world’s longest-running naked game show. We brought in Cody, Veronica, and Toryn to put their clothing on the line against their trivial knowledge. With questions surrounding Obamacare, Numbers, and Fantasy Football, our models were naked in a few short minutes.

Finally, as Thanksgiving approaches, we are giving thanks here on the Playboy Morning Show by celebrating little-known uses of popular Thanksgiving foods. Today’s special was cranberry sauce, a staple of any Thanksgiving table, and no one was quite sure why… until today. We figured out it can also be used as body paint, or allergy-resistant lube (assuming you’re not allergic to cranberries…).

cran suace

Tuesday 11/12/13

Posted in Uncategorized on November 12, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s Topless Tuesday here in the Mini Mansion, and we had a doozie of a show to celebrate.

We kick-started the show with a bit of science. With “This Day in History… if Only History Were Sexy,” we examined the Voyager 1 Spacecraft flying close to Saturn and taking the first pictures of its rings and its moon Titan. We had the lovely Carly break it down for us and then had Saturn (Gigi) and Voyager 1 (Chloe) come into the studio and show us first-hand what that encounter would have looked like 33 years ago… if it were super sexy. Some would even say it was… out of this world. PUN OVERLOAD–

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Ahem. Sorry about that. Next, we had a special surprise for Andrea, in the form of a mystery guest… This “guest” was on the phone and answered Andrea’s questions to see if she could guess who it was. After much fierce interrogation, she came into the studio, and it turned out to be E.G. Daily, most famous for playing Dottie in Andrea’s favorite movie “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.” Most recently, E.G. was seen as a contestant on “The Voice,” where she wowed the judges with her rendition of the song “Breathe.”

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After a quick break, we had our sexy model Grace come in and tell us about the first item of our ongoing Thanksgiving food countdown. It’s arguably one of the most important, most versatile, and most overlooked foods: butter! To finally give butter its due moment in the sun, we placed it on the bodies of our hot models and watched as it melted away. We knew our girls were hot, but we always thought of that more as a colloquialism than a straight fact; I guess all that liquid butter proves it.

photo photo (1)

Monday 11/11/13

Posted in Uncategorized on November 11, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Monday, ya’ll! We had a great start to our shows this week, so let’s make like a hot chick walked by and check ‘er out.

We began things by going over out Titty Picks from last week, and Kevin continues to slowly pull ahead of Andrea. It’s not looking good for Team Titties, but we’re not giving up hope. Andrea went with Tampa Bay for tonight’s game, so we’ll have to see how that plays out.

After that, it was time for Good Naked/Bad Naked, where our hot models Victoria, Ashley, Jenna, and Lauren came in and read clues so that our hosts could guess whether it was good or bad naked. If it was bad, our ladies would then re-create it in order to make it good. It’s just one of the many public services these gals do.

Next, we introduced Pete Holmes, who has his own talk show on TBS. This tall funnyman is also a talented artist, and he showed us his skills when he went up against Andrea, who is our resident artist. Both turned out pretty well, especially given their short assignment time.


Now, since Pete is new to the TV game, we know he is going to have to put up with a lot of criticism. We had our ladies come in and read some of the things they’ve said about his show, in varying levels of nakedness based on meanness, to soften the blow. He took it pretty well, but that might have something to do with the titties.

couch show

Finally, as it is Veteran’s Day, we had our girls model some outfits based on the branches of the military, and then show off their specific talents. God Bless America.

military after after all