Archive for December, 2013

Thursday 12/19/13

Posted in Uncategorized on December 19, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Yo yo yo. It’s Thursday and our show was today was bonkers.

It all started with a chat with Mr. Skin, who wrapped up his end of the year award-giving by talking about the ladies who made their nude debut this year. It was a good year for celebrity nudity, and it’ll be hard to top, but we all have high hopes for more famous racks in 2014.

After that, we checked in with another one of our Topless Movie Trailer reviews. Today’s flick was the Bill Murray vehicle “Scrooged,” which is probably older than both of our reviewers. They gave it four nips up, which means this trailer is right up there with “Madea’s Christmas.” Great.

Next, we welcomed in Brody Stevens, who is an old friend of the show. He now has his own show on Comedy Central called “Enjoy It!” which airs on Sundays at 12am/11c. Brody’s show is in its first season, and as such, is getting some critical attention both good and bad. We like to soften the blow here on the Morning Show, so the more “constructive” of the criticisms were read by increasingly naked-er ladies. A little boobies always makes things better.

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We took a quick break, and then welcomed in our special, super-secret Bad Santa… Mr. Ron Jeremy! Our models Nicole, Destiny, Chelsie, and Ali Rose all came in and sat on Santa’s Lap to tell him why they’ve been naughty or nice this year. Ron Claus is a very forgiving man, so most girls were excused for their indiscretions.

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As can happen whenever Ron is in a room, people just want to take their clothes off, including Andrea, the sexy models, and Brody. Now THAT’S some holiday spirit.

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Wednesday 12/18/13

Posted in Uncategorized on December 18, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Hump Day, ya’ll. Let’s get to the show.

Today we kick-started the show by playing another round of our favorite holiday game, Camel Toe vs. Mistletoe. Today’s subject was the lovely Kaysee, who really did a good job of hiding that thing, fooling even the most learned of coochie scientists. Like, whoa.

After that, we checked out another Movie Trailer Review, this time featuring the film “Madea’s Christmas” from director Tyler Perry. The ladies loved what they saw, giving it 4 nips up. For those of you keeping track at home, that means this movie trailer is 3 times better than the one for “It’s a Wonderful Life.” So, take everything with a grain of salt.

Next, we welcomed in rapper and producer Kid Ink, who (as his name indicates) is covered in tattoos. He talked about his new video with Chris Brown, and how to distinguish fans from groupies. It’s a really fine line.

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Since Kid is such a tattoo expert, we thought we’d play Lady and the Tramp Stamp with him, where we try to guess whether our sexy models have ink above the stink. Eden, Kaysee, and Mariah all came in with their lower backs wrapped up with bows and answered questions about how they like sex, to see if there were any tell-tale tramp stamp signs. After much interrogation, they revealed that none of them had tats… at least, not on the small of their back.

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After a short break, we came back and featured Kid’s directorial debut, as he gave pointers to our ladies on how to shoot the perfect music video that could be played this New Year’s Eve. Tune in tomorrow to see if we can salvage anything we shot, or if the entire thing is left on the cutting room floor.

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Tuesday 12/17/13

Posted in Uncategorized on December 17, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s Tuesday, and if you’re anything like us, you’re officially sick of Christmas music. Good news is, you won’t find any of that here.

We kicked off the show today by taking a look a news story involving a porn movie being mistaken for “Smurf’s 2.” Kevin and Andrea saw the news coverage and tried their best to “Abuse the News,” by coming up with their own Smurf-related sex puns in their best local news anchor cadence. Watch out Ron Burgundy.

After that, we took another look at our Movie Trailer Reviews, with today’s film, “Elf.” Our topless beauties haven’t actually seen the movie, but they did watch the trailer, and both gave it one nip up.

Next, we took a look at some more news stories for our Good Naked/Bad Naked segment. You know the drill: we judge whether people in the world were doing the clothes-less thing right or whether they need some help. Today, we heard about a teacher’s naked photos leaking from her stolen iPhone, and a man masturbating in the meat aisle of a local grocery store. More like “gross”-ery.

Following that, we picked another set of numbers for any of you playing the Mega Millions lottery today. If you win it all, be sure to send us some. You owe us, dammit!

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We took a two-minute break and then came back to talk to Aaron Rose of “Erotic Bakery LA” on the phone about his ultra-realistic sexy cakes. You’ve gotta see them to believe them, so check out his website www.eroticbakeryusa.com.

As that was going on, our lovely models Carly, Christina, and Ivy set to work making some sexy cookies of their own. It must come with the territory of being a hot chick that you can also make hot cookies, because they turned out great. If you’re looking to spice up your company holiday party, and don’t have an HR department, this is the way to do it.

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Monday 12/16/13

Posted in Uncategorized on December 16, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Monday, folks. It’s our last week before we take a little Christmas break, so let’s make it count.

We started things off today by checking in with some bad pick-up lines that hot chicks hear… read by hot chicks themselves. Even attractive girls can’t make these lines seem like a good idea.

Next, we talked on the phone to Dr. Anthony Youn, a plastic surgeon whose recent CNN article has gone viral because it purports that man boobs can be caused by smoking pot. Stoners everywhere are totally freaked out, man, but the jury’s still out, so don’t harsh your vibes too much. Since we’re on the subject of moobs, we decided to put Kevin and Andrea’s knowledge of breasts to the test with our game Boobs vs. Moobs. Think you can tell whether a nipple belongs to a man or a woman? We used to think so too, and now… well, now we don’t really know what to believe…

We took a two minute break, and then it was time to play a traditional game here in the Mini Mansion, Mistletoe or Camel Toe. The beautiful Samantha came in and Kevin and Andrea had to guess if she was smuggling  a little something extra in her panties. You know, besides her lady parts.

After that, we welcomed in Sarah and London to help pick the Mega Millions numbers for you fine folks out there playing the lottery. At half a billion dollars, you’d be crazy not to. For those of you keeping track at home, the numbers are 10, 26, 36, 40, 55, and a mega 11. Good luck! You’ll need it.

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Finally, we closed the show today by doing another Present Unwrapping, and today’s gift was the gift of dance! Santa’s Lap Dance, to be specific, and London showed her moves on the laps of Sarah and Sam as we signed off for the day. If your shopping center Santa starts asking for lap dances, notify your nearest mall cop.

Friday 12/13/13

Posted in Uncategorized on December 13, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Friday, everybody! We barely made it through another week, but now we’re free. We had a crazy one to send you out into weekend-land, so let’s get ‘r dun.

We began the shenanigans today with some sexy sign language. As that guy from Nelson Mandela’s funeral showed, you don’t need to actually be able to sign ASL in order to get a pretty high-ranking job, so we gave it a go with some sexy topless ladies. We don’t know what they’re saying, but we sure do like to watch.

After that, we talked with Robin Leach, and let the signing continue, because of their hypnotic power. Robin talked about Holly Madison’s new cabaret opening up, and also Vegas seems to continue being overrun with cowboys. And not just the giant neon kind.

Next, it was time to unwrap another present from under our Non-Denominational Holiday Tree, and the ladies picked up some “Mystery Mistletoe,” which gave them the power to get a kiss wherever they wanted on their body. Here in the Mini Mansion the mistletoe hangs low.

We welcomed into the studio today Alfredo Rodriguez, jazz pianist extraordinaire. He’s playing at an exclusive Playboy event this weekend, and told us what it’s like being one of Quincy Jones’ most talented collaborators.

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After a short intermission, we dove into the Friday Awards, where the Butt Slaps and Snow Angels from earlier in the week took home the coveted golden lady trophy. We also paid a tearful tribute to all the clothing we lost this week. Don’t feel bad for the clothes, remember: the brightest flame burns half as long, and the lost bra exposes twice as much. Or something.

Finally, we wrapped up our Winter Under-land activities with a little Winter Obstacle Course. Our sexy models Rachel, Sasha, Gabby, and Sandra got in their ice-covered car and drove into a snow pile, before being pulled on a snow saucer into the studio, throwing snowballs at a lewd snowman, and jumping into a giant pile. You know, like a normal morning commute in the Midwest.

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Thursday 12/12/13

Posted in Uncategorized on December 12, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s Thirsty Thursday, and we’ve got a cold glass of Morning Show to get you started.

We kicked things off today by talking with our good friend Mr. Skin, who counted down his top TV shows of 2013, which ended up being “Orange is the New Black,” “Game of Thrones,” and “Masters of Sex.” If you haven’t seen these shows yet, don’t take our word for it… take Skin’s. He knows these things.

After that, we played a special round of the world’s longest-running naked game show Know It or Show It in honor of the colder weather, aptly called Know It or SNOW It. We’re very proud of ourselves for that one. Our sexy models Krista, Bobbi, and Carrie took turns going up to the Snow-dium (less proud of that one), and tried their best to answer winter trivia. This time around, the game ended with three very naked ladies dancing around in a no-budget snowstorm, which is the safest snowstorm to be naked in.

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We took a quick break and then it was time to continue our Winter Under-land outdoor fun-time activities. Today we had our lovely ladies skate around the rink right here in the studio! Ok, so maybe they slid around on an oiled-up tarp, BUT that’s pretty much the same thing. This was a historic moment because it marks the first time any man has ever cared about figure skating. The trick is to have the figures themselves be nude.

Finally, we unwrapped another present from under our fabulous Morning Show Non-Denominational, Totally Politically Correct Wintertime Green Tree! Or Xmas Tree for short. The ladies found some stockings in their gift today, and not just your regular old Christmas stockings, but fishnet Christmas stockings. They’re not as good about holding gifts, but they make your chimney mantle look a hell of a lot sexier.

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Wednesday 12/11/13

Posted in Uncategorized on December 11, 2013 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s Hump Day, so let’s get over it.

We began the craziness today with a lightning round of Good Naked/Bad Naked, where a nudist-exclusive realtor was deemed good, and a crazy windshield-bashing crazy naked man was deemed bad. But who are we to pass judgment?

Next, we continued our Winter Under-land outdoor snow activities with a good old-fashioned snowball fight. Our sexy ladies Chloe and Lindsey came in and threw down from behind their snowforts with deadly accuracy. Being naked must increase your aim. It definitely makes you harder to hit.

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After that, we welcomed in actress and writer Jenny Mollen, who is a regular contributor to playboy.com’s Sex and Dating articles, with her “What She Said” pieces. Jenny talked about her latest article, which involves her pregnancy (she’s married to Jason Biggs), and what that has done to her sex drive (it’s made her insatiable).

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Since she’s also a Twitter superstar (she won a Twitter award, so you know it’s legit), we figured we’d play another round of Top Teets vs. Top Tweets. Our models Chloe, Lindsey, and Ali Rose came in to tweet and also distract with their tops off. This time it worked out, as Jenny was dumbfounded. Although that may have had something to do with the fact that the topic involved Nelson Mandela. Either way.

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