Archive for August, 2014

Thursday 8/28/14

Posted in Uncategorized on August 28, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s a Thursday Titty-tacular here in the Mini Mansion. Dust off your eyeballs and take a gander.

We kicked off things today with a phone call from Mr. Skin, who has just released the top 3 nude scenes of all time, in honor of his 15 years doing what he (and the world) loves. Coming in at the top of the heap was Scar-Jo in the movie “Under the Skin.” It’s a rather recent pick, but we find it very hard to disagree with him.

After that, we wrapped up our Back to School week with another fine lesson from some fine teachers. Today’s subject was foreign languages in a segment we call Strange Tongues. We learned some Spanish and French phrases so if you ever find yourself in need of baguettes or spicy salsa, you’ll know what to say. You can never be too prepared while abroad.

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Next, we welcomed in Rich Sommer from TV’s “Mad Men.” Rich chatted about the show, and his first time (of many) at the Playboy Mansion, when Ron Jeremy reached over him to feel some boobs. What an honor!

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While Rich was here, we would be remiss not to play some Ass-vertisers with him, where we see a logo or slogan and then have to guess the brand, with clothing on the line. Even Rich had to lose clothes at one point, taking off a shoe. Pretty scandalous if you ask me.

We took a short break and then welcomed in Chris Moore and Shane Dawson from the new STARZ show “The Chair.” Shane is one of two directors, under the supervision of Chris, who will be tackling the same script and trying to make it their own. They know they way around a set, so we figured we’d let our girls throw some film ideas out at them in a game called Boobie Pitches. These things may be in development hell for a while…

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Wednesday 8/27/14

Posted in Uncategorized on August 27, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s the middle of the week and we’ve officially got Hump-mania. The only known cure is the Playboy Morning Show.

It got going early on today, as we started out by talking about “The Surreal Life” and that time our guest host Jimmy and Andrea were brought together by the magic of reality TV. It’s a small, surreal world.

Next, we ran through Jimmy’s Random Rolodex, and for those of you born after the technological boom, that means Jimmy’s Random Contact List. We called a couple of his friends, like Pat… and Steve… and Jon. It turns out that Jon means Jon Hamm. Like “Mad Men” Jon Hamm. What a coincidence! Lucky us. We got to talk to Jon about his recent Emmy’s experience and the final half of the last season of “Mad Men,” which wraps up next spring. Get ready.

After that, it was time to continue our Back To School preparedness, today going back in time with Horny History. Our hot ‘n horny teacher Destiny ran through three great events in American History, with some slight enhancements, of course.

We took a short break and then welcomed in Ben Gleib, host of the new Game Show Network show “Idiotest,” where contestants have to solve complex brain teasers rather than trivia, and face the sharp wit of Ben should they not appear up to the task. It’s an all-new kind of game show, and we’re glad the visual learners are finally getting a turn.

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Ben’s been on the show numerous times and we wanted to give him the best chance to have something fun to watch while he was here today, so we brought out the Wheel of Fantasy for Wheel Wednesday! After much spinning, Ben finally took matters into his own hands and turned the wheel to Lesbian Three-way. Our ladies assumed the position(s) and another show bit the dust. It’s the circle of life.

Tuesday 8/26/14

Posted in Uncategorized on August 26, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

Love is in the air here in the Mini Mansion. Or maybe we need to get our carbon monoxide detectors checked…

We began things this fine morning by welcoming in Brandon Alinger, COO of Prop Store, which collects props from well-known movies. The good news is, they have an auction coming up so if you’ve always wanted to own Rocky’s gloves or Wonka’s Golden Ticket, now’s your chance!

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While Brandon was with us, we wanted to see if our models’ knowledge of films were as substantial as his own, so we played a little game called Non-Motion Pictures. We showed three pictures of famous props in movies and then had our hot ladies guess. We gotta say, they proved just as adept as any cine-phile we know. Or maybe they were just super obvious.

After that, we had another Back to School segment, today focusing on beer games. It’s an important part of any college’s curriculum and to demonstrate, we had our gals play some Rear Pong. This also happens to be a good substitute if you don’t have any beer, but have a lot of sorority chicks hanging around.

rear

We took a short break and then brought in Scott Aukerman of “Comedy Bang! Bang!” which airs on IFC starting again on October 17th. Scott’s a funny guy, but he also happens to be a director (he even got to direct President Obama), and we wanted to see if he could give our girls some helpful tips as they tried their hand at famous movie scenes in a game we call Nip Flix. They must have been taking lessons, because they blew us away with their skills. No casting couch necessary.

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Monday 8/25/14

Posted in Uncategorized on August 25, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s a brand new week of Morning Shows, and we’ve got a brand new guest host for the week, Mr. Jimmy Pardo. Let’s make him feel at home, shall we?

The show got going this morning as Jimmy and Andrea chatted about fake orgasms and whether or not men are able to. It definitely requires some creativity and quick thinking, and we here at Playboy don’t advise doing it. Always go for the real deal.

It’s back to school time around the country, and the Mini Mansion is no exception. We are going to brush up on some subjects this week, starting with Geography today! Margaret and Veronica came in and got quizzed on America’s states in a segment called 2 Girls 1 Map. 

girls

After that, we welcomed in comedian Heather McDonald whose very first stand-up special “I Don’t Mean to Brag…” premieres this Friday on Showtime. We know she’s funny, but we wanted to see if she could transfer some of her comedy style to our girls in a segment we call Can a Bunny Make a Funny?

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After the break, our girls came back in with their jokes all ready to go. Let’s just say two minutes is definitely not long enough for a comedy crash course.

Finally, as Jeezy could not be with us this morning, we played some Song Tit-les in his honor, albeit with well-known tunes rather than his own. Spice up charades at your next 1950’s-style tupperware party with this one simple trick: lose the clothes!

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Thursday 8/21/14

Posted in Uncategorized on August 21, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s not your ordinary Thursday here in the Mini Mansion, but what’s normal for Playboy anyway?

We got things started this morning by chatting with Mr. Skin, and checking out some fresh and famous nakedness from the new “Sin City” movie, among others. We gotta say, that comic book style really lends itself to curves.

After that, we welcomed in David, Michael, and “Mema” from the REELZ show “Hollywood Hillbillies.” These Georgia natives are doing their best to etch out a little piece of Manifest Destiny, while maintaining their Southern charm, of course. Good luck, ya’ll.

hillbillies

Since this family joined us today, we decided to play a little Playboy Feud, pitting them against our models. It’s a lot more civil than a typical feud for a Southern family, but the Hillbillies still came out on top, proving that knowledge really is subjective.

We took a short break and then welcomed in Nat Faxon, star of the show “Married” which is on FX. We talked to him about the show, and also about what it’s like to have his very own Oscar (which he won for co-writing “The Descendants”). We’ll get one soon enough, I just know it.

Finally, we wrapped up our Playboy Bootie Pageant, welcoming back our three winners: Drew, Danielle, and Tiana. Today, these well-rounded ladies would have to prove that they’ve got the backsides of champions by completing a bootie-centered yoga move, butt trivia, and an American Glute-iators obstacle course. The most impressive thing is that we thought of so many words for ass. After the dust had settled, it was a three-way tie! We had to tally up the votes and Nat gave his opinion as well, which ended up netting Drew the coveted title of Miss U-Ass-A. It’s a glorious day for America indeed.

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Wednesday 8/20/14

Posted in Uncategorized on August 20, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

We had a particularly viral show today in the Mini Mansion, and I’m not talking about HPV…

The show got going this morning as we continued our Bootie Pageant! After today, we’ll be one step closer to crowning Miss U-Ass-A, and today’s contestants Tania and Heleana may just have what it takes. We ran through our physical, sexual, and creative rounds today in style: a backward catwalk, squat contest, and a little ass music. Let us know who you think should move on to the next round on Twitter, and take part in the greatest American tradition: voting for asses.

Next, we brought in our guest, famous Youtuber Jack Douglass of jacksfilms. Jack puts out an astounding four new videos every single week, and has over a million subscribers, which allows him to rack up views like a hot chick at a nude beach.

jack

 

But! Youtube comes with comments, and some of them are nastier than others, which led us to our game: Constructive Criticism! We took those remarks and softened the blow by having our girls get more naked the meaner they got. And it really works, it’s almost like by the end we’re not paying attention.

We took a short break and then continued our internet-themed show by welcoming in famous Vine-ers Rudy Mancuso, Jason Nash, and King Bach. Our guest host for the week Simon is a particularly big force on Vine in his own right, and definitely had some great tips and tricks to bring up. And they ended up needing them, as we played a Vine-centric round of Chicktionary. If we only had to last six seconds, life would be a lot easier.

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Tuesday 8/19/14

Posted in Uncategorized on August 19, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

In the Mini Mansion, it’s always time for titties. You don’t need a clock, you just need to watch.

We started the show today by listening to Andrea and our week-long guest host Simon Rex talk Thai massages. They’ve got a good point: wouldn’t it make more sense to have a happy beginning rather than a happy ending? That got us thinking: why pick one?

After that, we checked out the Ice Bucket Challenges that we’re positive you’ve seen online by now. We wanted to try our hand at it, but we didn’t want to waste any water because of California’s crazy drought. If there’s one thing we love more than our hot models, it’s environmentalism, so we had some mystery substances in lieu of water. As Nasia came in to “donate” some clothes to a good cause, Mariela got lubed up, milked out, and honey glazed from one bucket after another. All proceeds go to the ASS foundation.

Next, Kat came into the studio, decked out in a monk’s satin robe and religious candle to take place in a Boobtism! She got her bust enhanced from an A to a Double D, bless her heart, and we wanted to make sure they got into boob heaven. After the ritualistic confession came the splashing of the holy sink water and the process was complete. Go in peace.

We continued on with Day 2 of Playboy’s Bootie Pageant. Today’s contestants are Leia and Danielle and they showed their stuff with the “Shelfie,” Lap Dance, and Butt Race. We were so mesmerized watching this that we need YOUR help picking a winner. Hit us up on Twitter and we’ll let you know who comes out on top tomorrow.

We took a quick break and came back to see that Andrea had turned the tables on her guest host counterpart by sneakily checking out the pictures on his phone, and sharing them with us. It’s always nice to see Andrea’s devious side… or any side really.

Finally, we welcomed in Jake Anderson, star of the Discovery Channel show “Deadliest Catch.” Besides working on a fishing boat (and being on TV), he’s also an author! His book, “Relapse,” is out on Amazon and at Barnes and Noble. We wanted to showcase his fishing knowledge here, so we played the Sexiest Catch, where our girls tried their best to answer questions related to nautical trivia. Maybe they should cast their nets in other waters.

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Monday 8/18/14

Posted in Uncategorized on August 18, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s Monday, and Playboy’s got a brand new bag! That’s right, for a whole week we’ve got guest host Simon Rex in the Mini Mansion in the coveted seat next to Andrea. You know what they say: location, location, location.

hosts

To celebrate Simon’s first show with us (and to let him know how things go in our magical world), we wanted to ceremoniously pop his cherry. Miranda and Bobbi came in and sandwiched some red balloons ’til they burst. We’ve never wanted to be a balloon so badly. Well, there was that one time…

After that, we talked butts. All around the world, people are having “best bum” competitions, even places where they’re not known for large posteriors… like Korea! We, however, ARE known for lavish backsides, and we wanted to put our best butt forward. It’s Playboy’s Bootie Pageant and today’s contestants are Ruby and Drew. The competitions are “Shelfing,” “Twerk-Off,” and “Butt Painting,” and it’s up to you to decide who you want to come back at the end of the week. 

We took a quick break and then we did a little Q & T & A to get to know Simon a little bit better. If only all press junkets were similarly dressed, it’d make the news a lot more titillating. 

Finally, we welcomed in Nev Schulman, host of the MTV show “Catfish,” and star of the movie of the same name. We figured that he’s got lots of experience putting actual faces to information, so we played our favorite game, Name That Alleged Perv. Our girls even got in on the action and proved that hot chicks are much better at detecting pervs than the rest of us. It’s almost like they’ve done it before…

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Thursday 8/14/14

Posted in Uncategorized on August 14, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It was Kevin’s last day with the Morning Show, and we wanted to send him off in style… Check it out:

We started with a montage of some of Kevin’s greatest moments… of yelling at the crew. There’ve been a lot, and we didn’t have to dig too deep or go back too far to find more than enough. We love you too, Kevvy.

After that, we looked at some of Kevin’s actual best moments from the past 8 or so years. It started to get a little emotional in the studio… we’ve definitely had some good times. And some great tits, too.

Next, we talked to Mr. Skin on the phone, who brought us celebrity nudity, as per the norm, and also had a very nice farewell message for Kevin. It seems they’ve finally buried the Pun-on-Pun hatchet, and (we can’t believe we’re saying this) we may actually miss hearing them.

Following Skin’s call, we showed a very special message from Tony Little, of late-night infomercial fame, who wanted to add his voice to all the other ringing out in wishing Kevin the best. It just goes to show you that a Little can mean a lot.

Then, it was time for Spin the Model, a fabulous game that features models spinning each other and then engaging in some good, down ‘n dirty Lesbian Chicken. It’s every high schooler’s fantasy, except our girls really went for it. And then some.

We took a short break and then welcomed in some surprise guests for Kevin… first of all we had Playmate Dani Mathers, who is a regular on our show and wanted to thank Kevin for helping her on her path to greatness. See, Kevin can do some things right.

Then after that, it was none other than Cooper Hefner presenting Kevin with a signed picture of Hugh to really put the cherry on top of his sundae of gratitude.

As Kevin took one last look around the studio, he walked out into the sunset… which in this case means a gaggle of screaming, naked girls. Bon voyage, Kevin. See you on the other side.

kevin

Wednesday 8/13/14

Posted in Uncategorized on August 13, 2014 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s another Weird Wednesday here in the Mini Mansion. Let’s give this show the ol’ elevator eyes.

We started things off with a little mystery… We had a special guest on Skype who turned out to be none other than our long-lost friend Robin Leach, all the way from his home in Vegas. It’s been a while since we’ve seen Robin and we had a lot to catch up on, including his farewell wish for Kevin. It’s enough to make a grown man cry. Or at least run away to Vegas for a weekend.

After that, we heard from Dustin and Cassandra, our Food Porn contest winners, who had a goodbye food porn for Kevin, using all the flavors of Lay’s new contest in his honor. Now if we could only get him the recognition he deserves… 

Next, we had another little surprise for Kevin… funny man Brad Williams is in the house! Brad chewed the fat with Kevin and Andrea about what he’s been up to since we last saw him, and wished Kevin a fine goodbye as well.

While Brad was in, we sent in our models to sit next to him (which he was nice enough to allow), and they played a round of Tit Pics, where we saw pictures of things that looked like boobs, and everyone tried to come up with their best caption. Their phrases weren’t so good, but man are they hot.

We took a short break and then it was time to get a very special call from… Kevin’s Mom. Aww. She wished him the best and it was a very special mother-son moment… until Kevin brought up his birth. Well, it is what it is. 

Finally, we also welcomed in Lahna Turner, comedian and songstress promoting her new special “So… I Wrote a Song About It.” She joined Brad on the couch and talked about whether or not she could take him in a comedian-on-comedian fight. Not in so many words, but we can read between the lines.

After the show today, we played a very special Kevin-centric game of Hefardy, we’re calling KEV-ardy. Be sure to check it out. Also it’s Kevin’s last day, so you do not want to miss all the tearful goodbyes and rear-full good thighs. That’s a stretch, but I’m sticking with it.

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