Monday 12/8/14

It’s Monday and it’s beginning to look a lot like XXXmas. Ho ho ho.

We began things this morning by welcoming back guest host Ryan Stout! He was last with us in October, and couldn’t bear to stay away. We totally understand.

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First things first, we needed to check our Ass-vent Calendar, counting down our 12 Days of Ass-mas. Today, we revealed a Gift Exchange behind the door, and the ladies took turns selecting (and stealing) gifts, before opening them and seeing if they’ve been naughty or nice. Some girls just get the short end of the stick this time of year… or, the fat end of the paddle.

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After that, we brought in the very first male winner of “America’s Next Top Model,” Keith Carlos. Congrats to him on making history, being the first Top Model champ to own a penis (as far as we know). Keith also used to play in the NFL, so yes, life’s been good to him so far. We kept Keith around to judge our own America’s Next Top-less Model, featuring Cody, Rachel, Rayshell, and Veronica in their hand-made breast accessories.

Next, we brought in Tanay Jackson, daughter of Tito Jackson and niece to world-famous Michael. She performed her new song “Addicted” for us, along with two of her super talented backup dancers. After that, she stuck around to help us with the Jackson High-Five Contest, where we saw our ladies do the blindfolded slap, the low-five, and a choreographed move they made up themselves. The first trick to successfully connecting on a palm-to-palm slap is look at the other person’s elbows. Which only gets harder when it’s attached to a hot girl.

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