Mmmm. Tuesday. Goes down smooth.
The show began today by checking out an ugly Christmas sweater for the ages. Seriously, this thing has a pillow and door knocker sewn onto it. Jaclyn made it sexy by not wearing pants, but oh man… I mean it literally has bells and whistles on it. Good lord.
Jaclyn, decked in gay apparel, helped open our next Ass-vent Calendar box, today revealing a Present Wrapping Contest. The catch is, they don’t have wrapping paper, they just have to use whatever’s on their back. Good thing it’s clothes. That means they have to take them off. Remember, just as you can’t heal a wound that isn’t there, so too can you not take off a clothing item if you’re already naked. Namaste.
After that, we brought in Moshe Kasher, stand-up comedian, author, podcast host, and celebrated raver. He and Andrea became fast friends talking about their various glow-stick-infused dance habits, and about why Ryan’s quarter trick from earlier in the show wouldn’t work on him. We kept him in studio to help us play NO-K in the UK, where we illustrated some of the things the UK has banned from their pornography. Aliens, Birds and Bees, Dinosaurs, Spanking, Robotic Verbal Abuse: these were just some of the things we touched on, and they all touched us back. They’re really missing out across the pond.
We took a short break and then welcomed in Jessica Chobot, host of “Nerdist News” on Youtube, and professional video game player. We’re hard-pressed to find jobs that rival hanging out with hot naked chicks all day, but that’s definitely one of them. Just remember: “Triforce” is a symbol from the Legend of Zelda, not dating advice.
Finally, as is the custom on Tuesdays, we played the longest-running naked game show in the universe, Know It or Show It. We tested our models on video game, TV host, and candy knowledge and watched them strip if they didn’t have the answers. It’s like a police interrogation, but the questions are more fun.