Tuesday 1/13/15

Consider this a big hello from the Playboy Morning Show to you: hello.

The show began this fine morn with a little check-in from the surface of Mars, where some of our finest model/scientists are hard at work trying to deduce whether or not the methane compound recently discovered there means that life once existed there. We always heard women were from Venus, but apparently we’ve all been misinformed. God Speed, ladies. God Speed.

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Next, we brought you through another instructional, yet fun (we call it “info-tainment”) Man Skills segment. There are certain things that men should be able to do, and we know that most are afraid to ask, especially concerning women’s underwear. Now, you’re probably asking yourself, “Lifeless blog text, why would a MAN need to know how to buy women’s underwear?” Well, sometimes you want to get something for your significant other to wear (Valentine’s Day is coming up, you’ve all been warned), and you want to make sure it’s right and good and sexy and all that, right? Right. Our models each came in to give us the low-down on a different type of lingerie and boy, you don’t want to neglect this negligee.

After that, we sat our models down and tested their knowledge of various sex terms in our Sexicon. Our verbose vixens did their best thesaurus impressions and tried to give the correct definition to an obscure phrase, and we found that nobody ever really knows these crazy, wacky, oftentimes precarious positions. Which is why Urban Dictionary exists, probably.

We took a short break and then checked out a Robot Sex Update, featuring a print out from a real robot! The best part is, she was wearing her robo-panties and was all oiled up, so you know she was gonna get all George Jetson after she left. Is that a phrase? Add it to the Sexicon!

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We then welcomed in Jay Ellis, star of BET’s “The Game,” which premieres tomorrow night (Thursday the 14th), so you should definitely check it out. Jay told us about his days a real-life Al Bundy, selling shoes to unattractive women, and how to best get out of a bad relationship: move out of your house while she’s out of town. We’re inclined to agree.

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Finally, we brought our girls back in to play Hittin’ the Holes, to see if Jay was as good a football player in real life as his character is on the show. Jay threw the football into different buckets and the girls had to do certain actions based on what he hit. It gives a whole new meaning to the term “end zone.”

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