Archive for February, 2015

Thursday 2/26/15

Posted in Uncategorized on February 26, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Welcome to another down ‘n dirty episode of the Morning Show! Take your clothes off, unless you want them to get muddy.

We started this fine young morning off with a phone call from our good pal Mr. Skin, who just had his 16th Annual Anatomy Awards. There were some surprises, some no-brainers, and some categories we didn’t even know had enough instances to warrant a category. Guess we weren’t watching closely enough. Check out this prestigious list of Hollywood nudes on his site!

Following that, we brought our girls in to help us celebrate Black History Month (it’s almost over, we know, but better late than never, right?). In the game of Black, History, or Month, each trivia answer had one of those three words in it, and if our sexy ladies couldn’t get the answer quite right, they had to strip down. If the Playboy Morning Show stands for one thing, we’d like to think that it’s the idea that all titties are created equal.

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Our first guest today was none other than Playboy Radio’s Playboy Advisor, Dr. Karen Stewart. For all those little things that you’re too afraid to ask, or don’t know how to ask, or don’t know you need to ask, she’s got you covered! We set out to prove that fact when we invited our girls back in to read some questions from viewers and get a sampling of Dr. Karen’s skills. Who knew learning could be so fun?

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We took a short break and then welcomed in singer Ryan Cabrera, whose single “House on Fire” from his upcoming album is out now. Ryan talked about what it’s like living in a neighborhood after you’ve been on “Cribs,” and the time he got kicked out of the Playboy Mansion for cannon-balling into the pool one too many times. What is it with musicians and getting kicked out of the Grotto?


To finish up the show, we played a game of (Blank) on Fire, which featured three different rounds of competition where our models competed for an exclusive autographed copy of Ryan’s new CD “Wake Up Beautiful.” They tested their ability to eat hot foods in the Mouths on Fire round, then did a quick change for Blouse on Fire, and finally squared off atop noble steeds for Joust on Fire. In the end, Chloe emerged victorious and was awarded her prize. Thankfully no one burst into flame today.

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Wednesday 2/25/15

Posted in Uncategorized on February 25, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Step right up, step right up! Come see the bountiful babes, scintillating celebrities, and the bearded… man. It’s the Playboy Morning Show.

We started the show off with a nice reality check for Dan. His new comedy album, “Chinese Affection,” which is brand-spanking new and so are the reviews. To soften the blow from some of the harsher criticisms, our girls wore less and less clothes as the meanness rolled in. Between this and the #MeanMemes from yesterday, it’s a wonder Dan has any self-esteem left at all.

Once the dust had settled, we welcomed in Azie Tesfai, one of the stars of the CW show “Jane the Virgin,” which airs Mondays at 9/8c. She dished on her life as a single lady, being ‘bi-continental,’ and her work with 5 different charities. Five! That’s six more than most people.


After we spoke with Azie, we played a game in her honor called Losing Your Virginity. Our sexy models came in and admitted that there’s things they still haven’t done… and we swiped those V-cards right before your eyes. We had a proposal, horseback ride, feather-filled pillow fight, and a bath for two. Cross those off the ol’ bucket list.

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We took a short break and then came back with a Hot Girl Focus Group, this time around talking about ‘undateable guys.’ Ever wondered why you’re still single? Want to find out what to do to stay single (you never know)? Well, this is the segment for you. Three words, gentlemen: hygiene, hygiene, hygiene.

To round out the show, we played Whole Lotta Love It or Hate It, where our girls guessed whether the lovely Andrea Lowell loves something, or absolutely abhors it. They even incorporated some cute auction-type ping pong paddles to help visualize their choices, how thoughtful.

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Tuesday 2/24/15

Posted in Uncategorized on February 24, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Tuesday to all of you in the place to be, the Mini Mansion, just in time for the Playboy Morning Show!

We started things off today by chatting with our intro girl Ruby Palm, a longtime model on the show and our favorite French export. She even showed us that she has what it takes to go over the top… by winning an arm wrestling challenge. How do you say, ‘I’m attracted to you and scared at the same time’ in French?

After that, we went full internet and made some dank memes. Mean Memes, to be exact, wherein our models and hosts took part in the mystifying art of applying text to pictures in order to make the most hilarious and somewhat angry combination possible. After trying our hand at this, I think we’ll probably just leave it to the “pros” from now on.

We then dug out an oldie but a goodie in Good Naked Bad Naked! We heard some unsavory news stories and decided whether or not the nude antics of the perpetrators was indeed Good or Bad Naked. Our Bad Naked reenactment today featured our girls giving a very extensive body cavity search to a sexy would-be traveler at an airport. We wouldn’t even mind being late for our flight.

Next, we spoke on the phone with “the Banksy of LA,” a street artist who goes by the handle Plastic Jesus. His most recent work (in which an Oscar Statue was doing lines of coke off the street over on Hollywood Boulevard) is causing quite a stir, for obvious reasons. You might also recognize his catchphrase “Stop Making Stupid People Famous” (a cause we can all get behind), or his other pieces from around the streets of Los Angeles. Be sure to check him out at Do you think someone else already took

After a quick break, we brought in comedian Michael Loftus, whose new show “The Flipside” is available online right now! So check it out (after you finish reading this blog of course, right?). Michael also regaled us with stories of the time he was in South Africa with Dan, and what it’s like working with his good friend Charlie Sheen. Nothing wrong with a little tiger blood.

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Finally, since Michael is a Catholic, we decided to play a Lent-based game where our girls teamed up and tried to guess what the other girl would “give up” in a number of different categories. If they got it wrong, you guessed it, they had to “give up” some clothing. I think Jesus would be proud. Plastic Jesus, not the other guy.

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Monday 2/23/15

Posted in Uncategorized on February 23, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

The Playboy Morning Show is back and ready for action! We’ll even settle for sloppy seconds.

Our show began this morning with a discussion about the Academy Awards. The glitz. The glamour. The pounds and pounds of sweet Colombian cocaine. It seems like that’s all anyone can talk about, and we here are no exception, except that we had our own award show that’s just as prestigious as any other out there: The Asscars. We saw trailers for our four nominees for Best Feature, and will give the award out later in the show.

But before we did that, we talked to a person who has more to do with how well celebrities look on the red carpet as any makeup artist, hairstylist, or tailor… that’s right, it’s plastic surgeon to the stars Dr. Raffi Hovsepian. Dr. Raffi talked with us about how celebs stay so young-looking for so long, and what the most popular procedures are when you’re trying to fight Father Time. His tip? Start early, then you won’t have to do so much later. Good advice for life in general, actually.


After that, we went out to Frankie V on the red carpet, who was standing by with each of our lovely nominees to ask them exactly what they’re NOT wearing today. Sounds like some pretty gorgeous and glamorous items of clothing got left at home this year, they’ve really outdone themselves.


To bring the mood down a bit, we checked out some of the clothing we’ve lost this year, in a sad, black and white tribute video. If you didn’t shed a single tear, rewind your DVR and keep watching until you do.

Next, it was time for Dan to give out the award for best feature. In an unprecedented event, all four girls tied for the Asscar and began to fight over the golden butt statuette. It was pure chaos, which is the only reason anyone watches award shows anyway.

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After a short break, we welcomed in Adam Green and Will Barratt, whose new film “Digging Up the Marrow” was recently released in theaters and on VOD. It’s part mock-umentary, part found footage, all horror goodness, so definitely check it out. If you can confuse critics as to what genre your movie actually is, we’ve gotta see it just on principle.

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To round out the show, our fine Asscar-winning models came in to compete in our Scream Queen games, showing off their best scream, scary acting abilities, and death skills. Don’t put any of those things on your resume, trust us.

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Thursday 2/12/15

Posted in Uncategorized on February 12, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Well gol-ly, look at what we have here! It’s the Playboy Morning Show, boys, yee-haw!

The show began today with our ladies helping us to decipher which nightmare Valentine’s gifts were real and which were fake. The fake ones turned out to be way less worse than the ones that actually happened, proving that men are just awful gift-givers. A half-eaten bag of M&M’s? C’mon man.

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After that, we talked to Mr. Skin about all the nudes gracing our screens, both big and small. Our friends from “Black Sails” showed up again, and we’ll keep an eye out to see if they can match “Game of Thrones”‘ epic nudity-levels.

Next, we welcomed in Robert Belushi, son of Jim Belushi and star of the new film “One Small Hitch,” which is out in select theaters and Video On-Demand now! Robert talked about his training at Second City in Chicago and revealed which of his relatives ISN’T a graduate of the famed improv theater. (Hint: not a lot).


While Robert was in, we wanted to help him hitch up two of our girls in a dating game we called Lezzing Out. Our new girl, Christina Ann, blindfolded herself and asked questions of our three contestants, before getting shown their physical talents by way of touch. Christina Ann chose Katie as her date, and we had a little surprise set up for them at the end of the show…

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Right after we came back from break, we brought in Marissa Janet Winokur, one of the co-hosts of “All About Sex” on TLC. It’s a sex talk show, which also features comedian Margaret Cho, and we’re all about spreading the good news on all other networks, as well. Go get ’em, girls.

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Marissa stuck around to help us judge our 50 Shades of Play contest, which featured our girls in their best dominatrix get-ups, doing a sexy catwalk, and explaining their “persona” and what their safe words were. Nothing quite like the presence of a dom to wake you up in the morning.


To close out the show, our lucky Lezzing Out ladies got a Valentine’s Date in the shower, where all truly great dates end (or begin). Happy V-Day, lovers. And happy Netflix All-Day Marathon Day, single folks.

Wednesday 2/11/15

Posted in Uncategorized on February 11, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy midpoint of the week, folks! Feel free to coast the downhill part of the week with us.

The show began this morning with yet another Valentine’s Day countdown special, today focusing on greeting cards. Nothing turns a women off more than a heartfelt message that you didn’t write yourself (trust us), so our ladies showed you how easy it is to make your own slogans, sayings, and sweet nothings for your significant other. Hopefully you have some red construction paper lying around.


After that, we brought in Keegan Allen, actor from the ABC Family hit show “Pretty Little Liars,” who has just come out with a book called “” It’s full of photographs that he himself has taken, prose he’s written, all while traveling around on his motorcycle with his rugged good looks… Man, good thing this guy doesn’t want to steal your Valentine, because he totally could.


While Keegan was with us, we played a game called Death.Love.Booty, based on the popular game “Marry/Fuck/Kill.” Our girls debated with each other over who they would rather sleep with, fall in love with, or kill out of three occupations and then Keegan chose the winner. These were some heated discussions, and we mean downright steamy.

We took a short break and then came back to welcome in Tim Batt and Guy Montgomery, comedians all the way from New Zealand. You may remember, we talked to these guys on Skype a while back about their podcast in which they talk about watching the movie “Grown Ups 2” over and over again. Well, they’re still at it, coming up on viewing number 51 while they’re here in Los Angeles. If they’ve got any long-lasting psychological scars from their harrowing, torturous endeavor, they wore them well.

To close out the show Guy and Tim teamed up with two girls each to act out silent clues based on words from their homeland. Our ladies should have studied up on their Kiwi history, because they couldn’t tell the difference between Australia and New Zealand to save their lives. We’re told they don’t like that very much.

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Tuesday 2/10/15

Posted in Uncategorized on February 10, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s another Topless Tuesday here at the Playboy Morning Show, which is why all of our peanut butter lids are off. Let’s go crazy!!

The show got goin’ today with a short discussion about a new trend in male fashion: beard dying. Our host Dan has a manly beard of his own, and he for one was perplexed at why anyone would mistreat their facial hair by dying it green, purple, or any other strange color. His advice? Unless you’re a leprechaun, don’t do it.

After that, we talked chocolate. If you don’t know by now that Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, it’s already too late. Expect to find your things packed up for you on the side of the road when you get home. But! For those of you in the know, we’ve prepared a little experiment to see if women really can tell the difference between really nice chocolate, and the store-brand stuff that wouldn’t break a dollar. We love that store-brand stuff, and apparently it’s not as easy as you would think to distinguish it from its higher-end cousins. If we were you, we’d switch the labels and see what happens.

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Next, we welcomed in Jason Hervey, who starred as ‘Wayne’ on the show “The Wonder Years” back in the day, but is now a big-time TV producer. His new show “Outlaw Country” features two pairs of brothers each on opposite sides of the law in the same town. “Outlaw Country” premieres Tuesday February 24th at 10pmET/9pmCT on WGN America. You couldn’t script a better show than that, but we wish we had. The truth is stranger than fiction, you know.


While Jason was in studio, we had a line-up of our finest naughty hotties to play the game of Innocent Until Proven Filthy, where we read a random story and they each have to deny that it was theirs. After an intense interrogation, one girl finally confesses, proving that these usual suspects are pretty good at lying. Each girl got to take a sexy mugshot, which is about the only good thing that happens after you get arrested. It’s like a penal code selfie.


We took a short break and then came back with our second guest, from the new movie “Girl House,” Slaine! Slaine’s a member of the rap group La Coka Nostra turned actor and one intimidating-looking dude. But once we got to know him, we saw that he’s actually super chill. Still, we can see why he got cast as the villain in his horror movie. Check it out and see for yourself.


Finally, we closed out the show with a quick game of No Strings Attached, the trivia game with an element of suspense, being that the girls are suspended together by their bikinis. A wrong answer moves them farther apart, but closer to letting it all hang out. It’s confusing that way.



Monday 2/9/15

Posted in Uncategorized on February 9, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Doop doop da doop, Morning Show.

We started this week anew, as we chatted with our intro girl Rachel about why she named her boobs “Snoop Dogg” and “Snoop Lion.” Not that she needed a reason, really.

From there, we ran through the first of a few of our Dear Cupid segments, where our models plead with the god of love to let their men not totally fuck up Valentine’s Day this year. The consensus is: lose the flowers and CVS stuffed animals, get a ring. Good luck.


After that, we welcomed in comedian Josh Wolf, best known as a regular on “Chelsea Lately”‘s round table and also the host of “Shark After Dark” on the Discovery Channel. Josh is a friend of the show, and we were glad to have him around, especially to hear about his first date with his (now) wife, where he sneezed-sharted and she still agreed to see him again. At least your Valentine’s Day can’t go worse than that. Hopefully.


While Josh was in studio with us, we played a game called Have You Seen Chelsie Lately? featuring our very own Chelsie Farah. Chelsie came in and gave Josh 3 clues as to a location that she’s had sex, and he had to guess where the deed went down. His intuition is pretty sharp, as he got Chelsie down to her panties in a hurry. It pays to pay attention, folks.


We took a short break and then welcomed in DJ Philip George, a Brit whose new song “Wish You Were Mine” blew up all the way to #2 on the Billboard charts, forcing him to quit his day job at the Gap. But don’t mind the Gap, this overnight success story is really one that can inspire you to follow your dreams and quit your retail job, too. Just don’t forget to be hard-working and talented, too.


Finally, we played Turn the Tables, a DJ-based mystery wheel game, where our girls spun the record and wherever it landed, they had to drop it like it was hot. And hot it was, as we saw them get some bottle service, drop the bass, and try to get into the club. All pivotal points in any club-goers night, although probably not in that order.


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Thursday 2/5/15

Posted in Uncategorized on February 5, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

We welcome in another Thirsty Thursday here in the Mini mansion with open arms… and open mouths.

We started off the show today by teaching you all some Man Skills. It’s a segment where our wonderful host-man Dan takes you through some skill that all men should know how to do. Today’s skill is how to give a proper massage. Not only is this a great way to grease the wheels with you and your partner, but it’s also a great, free Valentine’s Day gift! The best things in life are free, especially if you’re the one buying.

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After that, we talked on the phone with Mr. Skin! It’s been a while since we’ve heard the dulcet tones of his Chicago accent, and we have to say, we kinda missed it. As per usual, Skin brought to our attention some of the best celebrity nudes we can keep an eye out for, including the show “Shameless,” and Aubrey Plaza’s nude debut.

Then, we welcomed in Rick Harrison, star of the wildly popular reality show “Pawn Stars.” Rick’s also got a new trivia game out, that’s available for your smartphone that he says is way more challenging than any other stupid phone trivia game out there. So, set your thumbs to stun, and get to learnin’, cuz it’s trivia time. And if you don’t like it, you can just delete it off your phone, and that’s a Rick Harrison guarantee.

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While Rick was in, we played our own trivia game, Know It or Show It. Involving a little bit more nudity than Rick’s iPhone game (depending on whether you’re on the toilet or not), our longest-running naked game show in the history of television is heavy on the nakedness, light on the trivia.

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After a short break, we came back to welcome in rapper Kid Ink, whose new album “Full Speed” is in stores now. We checked out his new video for his song “Body Language,” and then brought him in. He talked about his plans for his music career, and his next tattoos (apparently he has some blank space left– for now). Word to the wise: if you’re going to get your fingers tattooed, watch out for the cuticle. Just sayin’.


To close out the show, we had our models (see: “aspiring rappers”) come in and give us some Doggystyle Freestyle. They spat their best rhymes as they got humped from behind, and Kid gave them their rapper handles, before showering them with our comical, over-sized dollar bills.

Wednesday 2/4/15

Posted in Uncategorized on February 4, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s a rap-tastical, rad-badical, humpty hump day here in the Mini Mansion, and that’s no bull.

We started the show today by talking about something we Southern Californians know little to nothing about: the weather! Snow storms are pounding the rest of the country, fast and deep, hard and long, and we thought the weather could be a little more hot if our models brought you the report. We’d also like to apologize to the city of Boston for that horrible attempt at a Bostonian accent by one of our models. We’re… not really sure what that was.

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After that, we welcomed in Reese Cates and Chase Outlaw, and if you couldn’t tell simply by their names, they’re real life cowboys in the world of Professional Bull Riding. Ranked #3 and #5 in the world (respectively), these guys gave us some insight into this lesser-known, but totally badass sport. And the groupies come out in droves, which only adds to their awesomeness. We even had a cybergirl call in to ask them some questions, just because she wanted to get to know them together. Well, when you ride for a living, you’re used to having something powerful between your legs.

While the guys were in, we played Hung Like a Bull, a hangman-type game that is exactly hangman, except the little guy in question has a big package. They didn’t get the word “saddle,” but that’s because they don’t use saddles. Damn. So badass!

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We took a short break and then came back to check out another one of our Topless Movie Trailer Reviews, today checking out the film “Whiplash.” Apparently, the most our “critics” got out of it was a lot of “I know, Dad” and “Leave me alone, Dad.” We haven’t seen this movie either, so we’re inclined to take their word for it.

Next, we welcomed in legendary rapper Afroman, who you know best for his song “Because I Got High,” which he recently remixed with a positive spin for those who support the legalization of marijuana. He’s got a new album coming out, which you should definitely pick up as soon as you can, and maybe light one up in his honor. If that’s legal in your state…. yeah.

Finally, we played a fun little game called Because They Got High, where we tried to guess what a celebrity had done while they were “under the influence.” The only gimme was Mel Gibson, who had done everything on our list.

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