Thursday 3/5/15

Hey there, ho there, Morning Show Joe’s. Let’s check it out.

We started things off this morning with a short talk about a short issue: penis size averages around the world. Two new definitive studies have just been released, and will remain the standard until two months from now when another study comes out. Still no big-names studies about the depth of women’s vaginas, but that’s neither here nor there.

After that, we checked out some new Man Skills, things every man should know how to do. Today’s topic is the much maligned “bro hug.” You love your bros, and you want to make sure they feel that love, but with solely physical contact and no emotions involved. Who goes in first? How long should it last? How low can you go? All these questions are valid, and all were addressed. We… admit that we were kinda distracted by our hot models acting out the wrong ways to bro hug. Oh well.

Next, we talked on the phone with Mr. Skin, celebrity nudity expert and pun enthusiast. Or maybe it’s pun expert and celebrity nudity enthusiast. We’re not sure. Either way, he gave us the down ‘n dirty deets about a few shows on the STARZ network, proving to us that they’re catching up with HBO in terms of quality nude programming.

Then, we played a new game on the show called Fling Forward, in honor of Daylight Saving’s Time happening this Sunday (except in Arizona, where it’s so hot that not even time wants to visit). Our girls flung their bras, some bridal flowers, and stories about trysts in order to jump ahead of the pack and claim the title of “Winner of This Game.”

We took a short break and then came back to welcome in Dan’s very own personal doctor, Dr. Mark Braunstein! Dr. Mark specializes in the treatment of men with low testosterone (among other things) and he enlightened us as to the real reason your hair might be falling out and how to get your hormones back in check.

To close out the show, we played a game called Anato-ME So Horny, wherein our two nurses tried their best to point out on our very own “Vitruvian Woman” where the name matched with a specific body part. We’ve always been advocates of proper anatomy training, always using real models. They can help you if you get stuck!

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