Archive for May, 2015

Thursday 5/21/15

Posted in Uncategorized on May 21, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Thursday to you and yours. If you’re not feeling particularly happy, well then, maybe watch some PlayboyTV.

We started the show off today by checking out some words that sound dirty, but actually aren’t. We got our models to guess what the definitions were, before revealing their actual innocuous meanings. Sometimes words can be just as deceiving as looks.

After that, we chatted with Mr. Skin about some fresh-off-the-tube celebrity nudity, including Queen Latifah’s nude debut. Don’t ever let anyone tell you it’s too old to bare all on TV, they are dead wrong.

Next up, we tricked out our Morning Show tricycle in honor of the Ducati article in the May issue of Playboy, in a short segment we’re calling Boob-cati. A mechanical tongue and dick handle bars are always good ideas, and should really come standard.

We took a short break and then welcomed in Miss May herself, Brittany Brousseau! We talked with her about some of her most recent celebrity encounters, her new video game show that just got picked up, and ran through a quick Playmate Pick Six. While she was in the studio with us, we revealed that at one time Ms. May wanted to join the police academy. We’re into making Playmate dreams come true in any way we can, so we had our models go through some police-style basic training in her honor. Imagine getting pulled over by Brittany. Now imagine how hard it would be to not use that lame speeding ticket pick-up line.

Tuesday 5/19/15

Posted in Uncategorized on May 19, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s Tuesday here in the Mini Mansion, where all the clothes are half off or more!

We started the show off with a quick interview with one of our models who just made Cyber Girl of the Month for May, Reyna Arriaga. You can follow her on Instagram and help her get the next level with some likes at @Reynaarriaga_. And you thought likes were meaningless.

After that, we checked out a video from our red carpet interviews at the Reality TV Awards with our correspondent Dorothy. We saw some familiar faces from the Morning Show and even got a few of the stars to accidentally talk about how they lost their virginity! In your face, E! Network.

We then ran through a series of tests to determine whether or not someone’s happiness can be hindered by actually having too much sex. It sounds blasphemous, so we hooked our girls up to our Joy-o-meter and saw how happy they were while they jogged in place. Turns out our experimental results were tainted because we overlooked a fatal flaw in our testing equipment: the Joy-o-meter was actually just hooked up to Dan’s pants. This is the third experiment that’s been ruined in this way, and we haven’t learned our lesson yet.

Next, we brought in Illeana Douglas, star of the NBC show “Welcome to Sweden,” which just released its first season on DVD. Illeana also has a book out called “I Blame Dennis Hopper,” about how her parents converted to hippie-ism after seeing the movie “Easy Rider.” We only pray that people start following the tenets put forth on our show; the world would be a much sexier place indeed.

After a break, we came back with rapper and comedian Lil’ Dicky, who’s working on his new album “Professional Rapper.” His rise to stardom started almost two years ago when his first video got over a million views in one day and he quit his day job to pursue it full time. Be sure to catch him on his Professional Rapper tour across America this summer.

To close out the show, we presented Lil Dicky with some ideas on how to expand his brand, like all good rapper/entrepreneurs do. We modeled some apparel, some food and water items, and pitched some movie/reality tv ideas, much to the overwhelmed surprise of Dicky. Diversify your revenue streams, that’s rap rule #1.

Monday 5/18/15

Posted in Uncategorized on May 18, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Welcome to another episode of the Playboy Morning Show, brought to your by our sponsor, Invisible Panties. Invisible Panties: It’s Like Wearing Nothing At All!

To start off the show, we checked out a clip from last week’s Playmate of the Year announcement at the Mansion (the big one, not our mini one). As you’ve definitely heard by now, Miss May 2014 Dani Mathers took home the crown of PMOY 2015, and we couldn’t be happier to see someone who started on our show go so far. Not like she’s anywhere near done yet or anything. We sent our own Dorothy to interview the Playmates and celebs in attendance, and get the low-down on what was going on in the Grotto. But we’ll have to wait ’til later in the show to hear from the PMOY herself… Stay tuned!

Next, we read through some of our #PlayboyMoandays submissions from sad workers all over the country, and we gotta say… there sure are a lot of you. Stay strong, workforce of America and beyond… stay strong.

After that, we welcomed in Dan Hill, a representative from the Prop Store here in Los Angeles. They’re having a live auction May 29th that you can be a part of online, by phone, or in person (if you feel like stopping by the Universal City Hilton here in California, that is). Dan showed off some of the props you can bid on, including the famous “ball-chinnian” from “Men in Black 2” and a real-life Gremlin! Don’t feed it after midnight.

We wanted to get some of our props appraised here, so that we can make a few extras bucks before we hit the racetracks this weekend. If we don’t earn enough, Big Tony’s gonna break our legs, but that’s a story for a different blog. Our models each brought in one well-known prop from Morning Shows past and Dan was kind enough to give us some estimates, both before and after we sexxed them up a bit. Let that be a lesson to anyone thinking of going on the Antiques Roadshow: a little sexiness never makes the price go down.

We took a short break and then checked out our interview with PMOY 2015 Dani Mathers from last week’s event at the Mansion, and it seems like she couldn’t be happier. We would be too if we got a brand-new Mini Cooper. Maybe she’ll let us borrow it if we ask nicely.

To close out the show, we played some good ol’ Playboy Feud: Models vs. Props edtiion! Our sexy ladies came in and squared off against Dan and Matt from the Prop Store, as they both tried to guess the survey answers about bedroom faux pas, sexy foods, and our lovable host Dan Cummins.

Speaking of Dan… It was his birthday this past weekend, so we got him a cake with a clown on it, because we heard he’s deathly afraid of clowns. That way, more cake for us!

Thursday 5/14/15

Posted in Uncategorized on May 14, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

We got a real beauty of a show for you this morning, let’s check it out…

We started this Thursday out like so many before it: with a call from our celebrity skin expert, Mr. Skin. Charlize Theron is back in theaters, but you can also check out the other 12 movies she’s been nude in on Mr. Skin’s website. We think that’s enough to get her into the Skin Hall of Fame.

After that, we heard about some of the most stressful jobs in the world, and then threw our girls into the fray on three of them. A trial by fire, if you will. They held their own, proving that our models can do anything, and do it sexy.

Next, we brought in Dr. Karen Stewart, our resident Playboy Advisor who we love having on to give us advice on all things sex and relationships. Our girls came in and read some questions from concerned citizens asking for guidance from Dr. Karen, and let’s just say we’re glad she was here, because we wouldn’t have handled it so well. But that’s why she’s the Advisor… and a doctor.

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We took a short break and then welcomed in STASH, a female electro-pop duo who are having success on the charts despite not being attached to a label. So, take that labels. Talented musicians don’t need you anymore. The ladies of STASH talked with us about their new EP and their plans for the future, including their dream of playing EDC in Vegas. We wish the best for them and can’t wait to watch them skyrocket to the top. You saw ’em here first!

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To close out the show, we played a game called Build Me Up, based on the STASH song “Tear Me Down,” where our girls had to build towers, give each other compliments, and then build up their glutes with some squats and jumping jacks. A compliment from a hot girl just means so much more, you know?

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Wednesday 5/13/15

Posted in Uncategorized on May 13, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s The Playboy Morning Show, where every day is more today than the last!

Our fabulously spectacular little show got goin’ this morning with our What the Wednesday?! segment, where we guess the outcome of real, crazy news stories. Sometimes real life is stranger than stuff we can make up. And, then other times we make up some real crazy shit and it’s not as weird as real life. But we’re twisted like that.

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We then welcomed in Holly Randall, legendary erotic photographer and director and host of “Adult Film School,” right here on PlayboyTV Saturdays at 10:30 E/P. But you already knew that, didn’t ya? Holly talked about some of the shortcomings couples have when trying to film their first video, and what it’s like coming from a family of well-known and respected pornographers. The family that shoots together, stays together.

Since Holly has experience walking couples through their individual erotic scenarios on “Adult Film School,” we figured she’d be a natural at having our girls do the same in our Wheel of Fantasy: Porn Couples Edition. All the standards are there, convict/guard, teacher/student, even french maid/french guy. You know, basic porn stuff.

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We took a short break and then came back with the electro/rock band Modestep joining us in studio. Their new album “London Road” drops May 25th and you can catch them at Sound Nightclub here in LA tonight, if you live in the SoCal area or if you get on a plane RIGHT NOW. Either way, keep an eye out for these guys and their new, darker sound, and new, darker tattoos.


To close out the show, we played a freeze dance game lovingly titled Mode-Stop! Our girls danced to some rave-tastic EDM and had to stop when the music stopped or be forced to lose clothing. So basically, just like a normal night in the club.


Tuesday 5/12/15

Posted in Uncategorized on May 12, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

A happy hello to you and yours on this fine Tuesday morning in the Mini Mansion!

Our show began today with a story out of Japan, where women are offered “crying rooms” in certain hotels; they’re places where you can go and just let it all out, it seems. Well, we have a room with a similar purpose we’d like to see in more hotels, but we call our “Orgasm Rooms.” Hey, sometimes you just gotta let it all out, you know? Our models gave them a soft-open test run, making sure the acoustics were all set, and bringing in some items to make their experiences more self-pleasurable.

After that, we discovered a new trend in the ideal male physique: the Dad Bod. Characterized by the appearance of flab,but with a hint of muscle underneath. Much credit to Leo DiCaprio for starting this fad off, men everyone should build a statue to this man. Just make sure to use a little extra marble around the mid-section. Our models then came in to play a round of How Not to Die Alone that focused on male fitness. There’s a thin line between the Dad Bod and a bad bod. Well, maybe thin isn’t the right word…

We took a short break and then threw it out to the hall where our girls were helping to console an emotional shark. Yes, like a real shark. Apparently those tooth-endowed denizens of the deep are a lot more emotional than previous research indicated, and we could sure tell with this one. We should’ve put him in the crying room.

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Then, we welcomed in rapper and producer Evidence, member of the Dilated Peoples and Step Brothers groups, and also an accomplished solo artist. He’s gonna be touring all over the country, at some of the coolest venues around, so be sure to check him out when he’s in your general vicinity. He shared some stories about his label, Rhymesayers, and winning a Grammy for his work on Kanye’s debut album, “College Dropout.” We bet he’s got a million stories about those sessions.

To close out the show, we played an Evidence-based game of Know It or Show It, with our girls picking from the categories of: famous evidence, famous step relatives, and old school hip-hop. How well did they do? The evidence was in the form of their clothing strewn about the floor as we closed out for the day. We rest our case.

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Monday 5/11/15

Posted in Uncategorized on May 11, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Crack open a fresh four pack of the Playboy Morning Show and count the seconds until this week is done.

We started out the show probably how almost everybody starts their Mondays: by hating Mondays. But, we’re here to make them better with our hashtag #PlaboyMoandays! Use the hasthag on Instagram to show us how your Monday sucks, and we’ll get one of our hot models to moan your user name! If that doesn’t chase away the Monday blues, we don’t know how to help you.

After that, we did a Beard Test on Dan to see if his beard really is as dirty as some new scientific studies actually claim. We think he looks well put-together, but we’ll have to see what the results from the lab say about what’s living in there, as seen under the microscope.

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In that vein, we brought three of our smokin’ hot models in to talk about what their preferences are in terms of male grooming, facial and otherwise. It’s all a matter of preference, but if one of these ladies says she goes crazy for mustaches, you better take note.

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We took a short break and then came back to watch our latest episode of “Full Blouse,” which you should check out on Youtube RIGHT NOW. Do it. This blog will be here when you get back. We’ll wait.

Back? Nice.

After that, the results were read from Dan’s test. Besides some Vitamins, we also saw some ax shavings, angel dust, asbestos… all sorts of crazy stuff. Oh, and lots of love, but you knew that already.

Then, we brought in our guest for today, Nick Stoeberl, the man with the world’s longest tongue (he’s got a spot in the Guinness World Record Book and everything!). But he doesn’t stop there, Nick is also an accomplished tongue painter, which is definitely an exclusive club, and he showed us his skills live in the studio. He also brought in the art he made for us when we Skyped with him a few years back. We gotta say, his skill has improved.

To close out the show, our girls took a page out of Nick’s book and tried to paint on each other using only their mouths, as they held brushes between their lips. This might be the new wave of art to sweet the world, because if there’s one thing the art world loves, it’s weird-ness.


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Thursday 5/7/15

Posted in Uncategorized on May 7, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Hey there, ho there, Morning Show faithful! As a reward for reading our blog, you can have the rest of the day off. Just show your boss this webpage and then waltz out the door.

We started this here show off today by checking out a Morning Show neighborhood known as Libido Lane. This sleepy little stretch of suburbia exists in a realm where sex toys are currency, and everything is working and looking fine. Even the criminals!

After that, we talked “Masters of Sex” and “Game of Thrones” with Mr. Skin, including some of the celebrities that he’s looking forward to seeing nude in theaters later this year. We have a lot to be hopeful for, but until then, check out Skin’s website for some celebs you may not know have already gone clothes-less. It may save you some waiting time.

Next, we brought in Cyber Girl of the Year 2015 Khloe Terae and Cyber Girl of the Month for March 2014 (and Cyber Girl of the Year runner-up) Stefanie Knight! These ladies sure deserve all the accolades bestowed upon them, and sure do appreciate all of your votes. We’re not sure what they’re putting in the water up there in Canada, but it sure makes us want to move up north, eh?

We took a quick break and then ran through some Dick Pics, where we caption photos with near-dick objects in them. This was all in honor of “Wanksy,” the street artist who literally spray paints the street… with dicks. But it’s for a good cause: he tags open potholes so that the city HAS to fill them in. It’s actually a pretty genius idea.

To close out the show, we honored our moms with a sexy MILF Day fashion show, featuring sex-ifications of different mom tropes, like discipline, mom jeans, and breakfast in bed. Don’t forget to call your mom this weekend, or you’ll never hear the end of it.

Wednesday 5/6/15

Posted in Uncategorized on May 6, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Ah, Seis de Mayo, one of the man official hangover days in America. The lights! The sounds! The spins! The gang’s all here.

We started our show off today with a Bloody Mary and two Advil. But right after that, we were good to go. We read some letters from viewers like you, and tried our best to answer your questions about our show and just life in general. We’re helpful like that.

Next, we welcomed in German Playmate Sarah Nowak, who’s in town visiting the Playboy Mansion. Hef might not let her leave, it’s happened to hot blondes in the past, but that remains to be seen. Sarah gave us some insight into whether American or German men are more adventurous, and surprised to learn that she’s single! Time to start gettin’ those hopes up, gentlemen.

While Sarah hung out, we brought our models in to play a game lovingly named Wack or Nowak. We heard a topic, like Beach Sex, and then everyone had to weigh in on whether they thought it was ideal (Nowak) or lame (wack). There were some unanimous answers, but others remained divided. I guess it just boils down to personal preference… and alcohol availability.

We took a short break and then watched our girls make and then don some May Flower-themed outfits, focusing on their own personal… ahem … “flower”. In the end, Leia was awarded the best use of theme, costuming, and gardening to take a victory walk down our rose petal runway.

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To close out the show, we used the recent Viagra article in May’s Playboy as inspiration for our Hole-istic Medicine segment, where our lab coat-wearing models explained some boner medicine of their own devising, and demonstrated their uses and side-effects. Take two and call us in the morning.

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Tuesday 5/5/15

Posted in Uncategorized on May 5, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

iFeliz Cinco de Mayo a todos! Celebrate with the Playboy Morning Show, Mexican Style!

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We didn’t waste any time getting into our first segment, the Drink-o de Mayo body shot tutorial, featuring our body shot expert, Andrea. Syri and Ali helped demonstrate her instructions, and managed to get buzzed and look good doin’ it. Not an easy feat.

From there, we jumped straight into bed with Samantha and Amber, our resident Cooche Libre sex position wrestlers, who tried their best to translate our Spanish-named sex positions into the physical realm, using their bodies of course. Some were more obvious than others, thanks to what our Spanish teachers would call a “cognate”.


This next segment, brought to you by Adam & Eve (the sex toy company, not the Biblical couple), featured a product known as the Naughty Rabbit. This baby’s got more torque than an F-150 and more speed options than a blender. But in all seriousness, we are worried our girlfriends might leave us once they fall in love with these things. In order to truly test the raw power that the Naughty Rabbit possesses, we had us a good ol’ fashioned dildo race. Surprisingly, this race was super exciting, and all of the toys stayed vertical as they buzzed down the table. If you lost money on the Kentucky Derby, today was your chance at redemption.


We took a break and then came back to play one of our favorite games, the Wheel de Caliente (that’s “Wheel of Hot,” for the no-habla-espanol crowd). Our girls spun the wheel and then ate some hot Mexican-themed peppers, chips, and candy. The real MVP of this round was Dan, for showing our girls how it’s done. “It” being eating a habanero in one bite. Que ridiculo.


To close out the show, it wouldn’t be Cinco de Mayo without a little pinata party, although we don’t fill ours up with boring, chalky candy, we fill it with lingerie. You gotta know how to motivate your models.

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