Monday 6/1/15

We’re back! Did you miss us? We sure missed all of you, and we had a great show this morning to make up for our lost time.

The show got started today with a Robot Sex Update, we’re not sure what the version is anymore (it might be 3.2). Either way, we had our sexy models come in and see if they were more or less compatible with Dan than our Playboy Robot. So far, you still can’t beat the real thing, but that doesn’t mean we wouldn’t want to spend at least one night with Robot-a… just to give it a try.

After that, we spoke via Skype with Aimee, Bobbie, and Nick from the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant. Normally, having a small dick isn’t something you’d want to broadcast to a room full of people, but at this Pageant, that makes you the star of the show! We welcome their celebration of small men, and invite you to send in an audition tape if you feel so inclined to go after the $500 prize.

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In honor of the Pageant, we played a game of Cock-a-Mole, where our models did their best to whack a small cock as it poked its head out of different holes. If you can think of a more entendre-laden sentence, we’d love to hear it. As the girls beat down on the cocks, they earned tickets to use in our frustratingly unfair prize booth where you only have to whack 10,000 cocks to win a new grill! It still beats games at the carnival.

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After a quick break, we welcomed in Suzanne Whang, comedian and recent fist-er of cancer, for which we congratulate her. The conversation only got more visual from there, where we touched on gerbil-ing and other sexual proclivities that even we were unaware of. And that’s pretty much our whole job, so we were very impressed.

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To close out the show (and continue our sexual dialogue), we played a game inspired by Suzanne called Wrong or Whang. We introduced a topic and then asked if our models and Suzanne thought it was Whang (good) or Wrong (wrong). It’s interesting where everyone’s lines lie, but don’t forget the rule of five tries: you don’t know if you really don’t like something until after the fifth time you give it a go.

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