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Monday 8/17/15

Posted in Uncategorized on August 17, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Welcome to the first week of the rest of your life. Make it count by checking out the Playboy Morning Show.

We started our show this morning by getting political as balls, quite literally. Our girls played Blow Hards, where they each were assigned a ball with a politician’s name on it and blowing it across the room. The first ball to cross the line is who the Playboy Morning show believes will take the upcoming election. It’s just as accurate as any of CNN’s statistics.

Next up, we brought in former NFL linebacker Shawne “Lights Out” Merriman. Shawne has a new clothing brand out called, fittingly, Lights Out, and they have things for the active men and women of the world. He also talked about his friendship with Donald Trump, and about sparring with people in the gym who didn’t know he used to play professional football. Someone out there is either incredibly brave or incredibly dumb.


While Shawne was in with us, we played some Know It or Show It, where our girls took a crack at trivia questions based around Shawne’s career, and lost clothes when their answers missed the mark. It sure makes us pay better attention.

After a quick break we brought in our second guest of the hour, Jeannie Mai, host of the new GSN show “Steampunk’d,” which premieres this Wednesday at 10ET. Jeannie talked about her start in the world of fashion and designing, and enlightened us as to what exactly the steampunk lifestyle is all about. Just because it’s all about steam doesn’t mean it’s just hot air.


To close out the show, our girls made their way through our gauntlet of fashion challenges in our Run Way segment. They had to guide their “assistants” (blow up dolls) through hair, makeup, and wardrobe before walking runway and strutting their stuff. Even if they’re not ready, the show must go on, and sometimes that leads to malfunctions. But what’s a fashion show without a few malfunctions, right?


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Thursday 8/13/15

Posted in Uncategorized on August 13, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Well, it seems like time we brought you another Playboy Morning Show blog post. So here ya go:

HELLO! We started our show today with a very fabulous in-bed version of a focus group, fittingly called Bed-iquette. We learned straight from the mouths of our hot models exactly what to do and how to do it while you’re doing it. If it can keep our sexy ladies happy, it’s sure to work on just about anyone.

We then brought out the voice of Mr. Skin on our telephone line, so that he could help us with the all-important task of educating the world about the newest and nudist celebrity sightings on the screen both big and small. Our takeaway this week? We just wish we look half as good as Salma Hayek when we get to be her age. Hot damn.

Next up was our Good Naked/Bad Naked roundup, where we heard crazy stories involving nudity from all over this crazy planet we inhabit. Our girls even helped us re-create some “bad” naked about a guy who tried to steal a vibrator by hiding it in his pants, and then stripping down and hating on the president. Thanks, Obama.

We took a short break and then came back to check out our girls doing some Sexercises to stay limber and keep themselves in model shape… while also still gettin’ it on, of course. People forget that sex is basically just working out you can do in bed. Just don’t bring that stuff to the gym.

To close out the show, we played a round of trivia game Hefardy, in honor of Hugh Hefner’s son Cooper, who recently got engaged. Aww. Congrats to the whole Hefner family, and we hope our models’ topless trivia salute will count as your wedding present. Unless you’re registered at Bed Bath & Beyond.

Wednesday 8/12/15

Posted in Uncategorized on August 12, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

We had a doozy of a show today, and the clothing donation pile to prove it. It’s the Playboy Morning Show!

Our fabulous hour of sexy fun got started this morning by checking out a new meme that has surfaced thanks to the new NWA movie, “Straight Outta Compton.” Our girls came in and dropped some knowledge about the history of Playboy, and ended with the phrase “Straight Outta Playboy!” Usually the only thing that comes straight out of a Playboy is the centerfold.

We then checked out our next #WedgieWednesday opus that you can check out on our Instagram page (@pb_morningshow). Give us some double taps, won’t you?

Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between words of wisdom from an inspiring professional athlete, and an off-handed comment made by an adult video superstar. It’s a problem that we run in to more than we’d care to admit. In our game Rousey or Arousing, we tried to guess the missing word in a quote and then attribute it to either Ronda Rousey or a famous porn star. It’s UFC versus XXX.

Next, we checked out a tutorial on how to fake a selfie, making it seem like you’re in an exotic location, and thus make your life more interesting. It’s so easy, anyone can do it at home. Step 1: Stand in front of a TV. Step 2: Pull up a picture of a beach. Step 3: Snap some selfies. It’s the best way to travel the world from the comfort of your living room.

We took a quick break and then came back to welcome in Autumn Ajirotutu and Nicole Williams, stars of the new E! reality series “WAGS,” which stands for “wives and girlfriends of sports stars”. It’s not easy being the wife of a pro athlete, but these ladies rock it in style and prove that they can hang with the best of them. Just don’t let a “jersey chaser” get caught in their sights or all hell could break loose. You’ve been warned.

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To close out the show, we had our girls check to see if they were WAGS Eligible by answering some questions about the world of sports-dating, and then move forward on our football field of truth for every answer our real-life WAGS thought was best. It’s funny how the goal of both football and dating is to touch the end zone.


Tuesday 8/11/15

Posted in Uncategorized on August 11, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Jump on in to The Playboy Morning Show, the water’s fine!

First things first, we hit up our girls to act as Thirst Responders, calling out guys for their Instagram comment shenanigans. The thirst is real, and it’s up to our models to show them the error of the ways. Emojis are always a good idea, gents.


Next up on the docket was a game we’re calling Model or Mars, where we see super zoomed in pictures and have to guess whether they’re from the landscape of the red planet or the landscape of a hot naked girl’s body. The red was usually a dead giveaway, except for that one girl with the really bad sunburn. Ouch.

After that, we brought out our models to showcase some interesting products we’ve invented based on the silly inventions that kick you out of the shower or bed if you’ve been in there too long. It seems like any dumb idea can make somebody rich, and it’s about time we got ours, you know? We showed off our Playboy model dresser (and undresser), the mobile shower, and the clap-down condom delivery system. As seen on PlayboyTV!


We took a quick break and then came back to welcome comedian Chris Franjola into the studio. Chris is a veteran of shows like “Chelsea Lately” and the “Sons of Anarchy” after-show, and even promised to fight one of the actors from that show, should he ever meet him again. You heard it here first! Check Chris out on tour and get his CD’s on iTunes while you can, you never know what could happen in the ring.

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To close out the show, we tested Chris’s powers of understanding the female mind (having worked with many female comics on “Chelsea”), with a game called What Women Want. For every answer he matched up, our girls lost some clothing, making this mind-reading adventure have a little extra incentive.


Monday 8/10/15

Posted in Uncategorized on August 10, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Well, hey there, folks! Come on by and sample some of our brand-new Playboy Morning Show, why don’tcha?

Today began with a crowd favorite game, known as Rate the Trait. This edition featured our hot models coming in and showing off their top 5 favorite erogenous zones by placing numbered stickers all over their bodies. It varies from girl to girl, so next time you find yourself getting lucky, just ask to see her stickers first.

Our first guest on today’s show was none other than Carmen Ortega, star of the reality show “Hollywood Cycle” on E!, which has its season finale tonight. Carmen’s been a busy girl, what with her own clothing line and jewelry line, not to mention starring on her TV show. She’s also single and looking to mingle, but don’t send her any more dick pics PLEASE.

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As any paparazzi magnet knows, haters come with the territory. So we should Carmen how to Shake Them Haters Off, with a little help from our models. The girls came in with thumbs-down balls taped all over their bodies and they did their best to shake, rattle, and roll those haters right off. It’s harder than it looks, and we learned exactly how sticky scotch tape can be.

We took a quick break and then welcomed in our second guest for the hour, magician Crow Garrett. Crow will be at LA’s Magic Castle from August 31st through September 6th, so if you’re in the area (and can somehow get an invite), stop by and check him out in the Parlour of Prestidigitation. If you can say that word right the first time, that counts as magic.


To close out the show, we had our girls show off their own magical talents by doing some tricks that can only be described as “laughably transparent.” But hey, transparency is its own kind of magic, yeah? At least, it is when you’ve got a hot body to go with it.


Thursday 8/6/15

Posted in Uncategorized on August 6, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s the Playboy Morning Show, don’t sweat it, you’ll just get stickier.

Our show began this fine morn by welcoming our guest host for the day, Mr. Hal Sparks! Hal has been gracious enough to fill in while Dan is off jet-setting to comedy shows/starting his own cult (we’ve heard conflicting reports). In order to give Hal a proper welcome to the show, we had our girls read some Hal-mark Cards, and then take their tops off. Opening a bra is way better than opening a sappy card.

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After that, we talked about Lenny Kravitz’s recent “wardrobe malfunction” while on stage in Sweden (which here means “his dick busted out of his pants”). Hal had a similar story, and so we decided to have Hal face off against our head writer John in a game of Dick Pics. We saw some everyday objects that look suspiciously like wieners and they each tried to give the best caption. You can play this game at home! Just find things that look like dicks and challenge your family, your friends, and random strangers on the street! It’s guaranteed to liven up any evening.

Next up, Hal showed off his black belt in many martial arts styles, in our Naughty Karate segment. Our girls donned their headbands and punched, kicked, and grabbed their way through a set of simple moves. It’s not your average kick-line, but they still looked good doin’ it.

We took a quick break and then brought in Heather Storm, an old friend of the show, who was promoting the new season of “Garage Squad” on the Velocity channel, which begins on August 11th at 10/9C. Heather has been our resident mixologist on the show for years, and we enjoyed this chance to catch up and congratulate her on this new show. Some might say she’s taking the world… by STORM. Oh man, I crack myself up.

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To close the show, we played the longest-running naked game show in radio and TV history, Know It or Show It! Our models did their best to remain in their clothes while fielding trivia questions about mixology, commercials, and classic cars. In the end, they danced right out of their lingerie. That takes real skill.


Wednesday 8/5/15

Posted in Uncategorized on August 5, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Fret not, the Playboy Morning Show is always wet ‘n hot!

We started our show today with a Hot Girl Focus Group, featuring our models sitting on our couch and discussing what songs are ok to play during sex. If these ladies are representative of the hot girl population as a whole, then ditch the playlist, and make your own sweet music, because these girls just find it distracting. Which is funny, because we find our models distracting.

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After checking out our latest “Wedgie Wednesday” opus, we played a new game called Bureaucrat or Busey, where we tried to guess whether an outrageous quote was from a politician or actor Gary Busey. It’s tough to decide sometimes, making us think that maybe Gary Busey should get into politics. Just sayin’.

Next up, we put on our Sex Mythbusters lab coats and nerd glasses to put to the test whether or not boobs can used as weapons. In China, a woman was arrested after attacking a police officer with her breasts, and we think that’s ridiculous! We had our girls first try to do some damage with their cups, and then demonstrated the niftiness of their titties. Our conclusion: Boobs are friends, not foes.


We took a short break and then welcomed in our guests for the show, producer Dean Hargrove, and two tap dancers Chloe Arnold and Kaleena Rallis from the new documentary “Tap World.” Tap dancing is something that people enjoy the world over, and we got a full taste of the art right here in our studio. Once the professionals showed us how it’s done, Dan and Andrea got up and put on their ghetto-as-hell tap shoes made out of regular shoes with quarters duct taped to the bottoms, and tried their best to follow along to the lesson. We’ll leave the tapping to the real tappers.

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