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Thursday 3/19/15

Posted in Uncategorized on March 19, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s Tits O’clock, that means it’s time for another Playboy Morning Show! Don’t be late!

We started things off today by talking on the phone with the king of nudity and puns said in a Chicago accent, Mr. Skin. Skin talked to us about some new nudity on shows like “Shameless” and introduced his Whack-It Bracket for 2015. Check out his website to pick your winner with your wiener. Hey, maybe we should write for Mr. Skin.

Next, we played some good ol’ fashioned Good Naked/Bad Naked, where we heard stories ranging from a naked guy standing in a doorway, to a naked guy jogging near a river. The only Bad Naked we landed on this week featured a naked romp in a doughnut shop that we made sexy by having our chicks scarf down some glazed pastries off of each other, before being escorted out by police.

After that, the battle of March Badness raged on with Drew taking on Jenny for a shot at advancing to the Tittle-Eight. We did the jump bra, heard their stories, and judged their naughtiness. It was a close one (coming down to random selection, even!), and Jenny emerged victorious. It just shows you that sometimes it’s good to be worse.

We took a short break and then welcomed in Steve Wilkos, of “The Steve Wilkos Show” and “Jerry Springer” fame. Steve is the king of ‘real talk’ and gave some to us, about his journey from Marine to cop to TV personality, and how he honed his abilities to tell real stories while also helping real people. Reality truly met fantasy when he stepped into the Mini Mansion today.

Speaking of fantasy, our girls came in to play some Innocent Until Proven Filthy, wherein they tried to deceive the human lie detector himself, Steve Wilkos. We heard their stories and they each denied them up and down, so it was up to Steve’s intuition to decide who he thought the guilty party was. His first guesses were right both times, but he switched them up at the last minute. Gotta trust those beat-walking instincts.

Wednesday 3/18/15

Posted in Uncategorized on March 18, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s Wedgie Wednesday at the Playboy Morning Show! Don’t forget to floss.

The show kicked itself off this morning while Dan and Andrea discussed “the Uber for┬áhangovers,” by driving an IV to your house and hooking you up to it in order to get you started on your day. If this is for real, I think we’ve gone about as far as we can go as a society, and should maybe pack it all up and let the crustaceans have a crack at it. We’ve already won.

We moved on to the next battle in our fresh March Badness competition, wherein Ruby faced off against Rayshell. In the end, Ruby’s story of bondage play put Rayshell’s Halloween hookup in handcuffs, and she moved on to compete in the Tittle-Eight.

Then, we talked via Skype with Rap/Raggae artist and Andrea’s good friend her hometown of Long Beach, Mr. Xquisit. They chatted about the time she was in his music video and what we can expect next from the guy. No plans to add those extra E’s to his name quite yet.

Next up was a good old-fashioned Hot Girl Focus Group, this time focusing on “Dick Dealbreakers,” which, as everyone knows, are the things that would force a girl to turn down a dick. We found that it varies from girl to girl, so don’t get too hung up on it gentlemen.

We took a short break and then came back with the entire main cast of the new horror/comedy flick, “Zombeavers.” The movie features Cortney Palm, Rachel Melvin, Lexi Atkins, Peter Gilroy, Jake Weary, and Hutch Dano. That’s right, these six young actors squared off against a rabid onslaught of zombie beavers, with plenty of laughs, blood, and even nudity. What more could you ask for?

Since they were such a big, tight cast family, we decided it was only fitting that they face off against our model family in a game of Playboy Feud: Zombeavers vs. Beavers edition. After a back-and-forth battle, it came down to the final question, which the Zombeaver team snatched away, redeeming team captain Rachel Melvin for her family’s failings on the real Family Feud when she was younger. Redemption, thy name is Zombeaver.

Tuesday 3/17/15

Posted in Uncategorized on March 17, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Erin go bragh! It’s a St. Panties Day festival here in the Mini Mansion. Irish you were naked!

The show began today with a St. Panties Day parade, led by our leprechaun for the day, Wee Matt from the famous Venice Beach Freak Show. Matt had all the energy of an Irish spring morn, and our ladies make a great train to follow him around. We’ll definitely be seeing more of them shortly… No pun intended.

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We played a quick game at this point, called Kiss Me I’m Irish, where Dan tried to prove to Andrea that he was Irish enough to earn a kiss from Andrea. What a prize! We’re not sure about the overall integrity of this game, but Dan pulled it out (not like that), and got a kiss from his sweet co-host. Typical luck of the Irish.

Next, we brought back Wee Matt to sit on our couch as our girls moved closer to his treasure stash in Honeypot of Gold. We had various Irish-themed challenges for them to complete, in order to test whose blood really runs green. In the end, Mariela made it to the end of the rainbow and made it rain gold. That sounded better in my head.

After a short break, we had the first two battles of our March Badness 2015! Last year’s champ Ali Rose fell in the first round to Lauryn Elaine, and Reyna defeated Mariela after it was revealed she had “exaggerated” her story a bit. If this is any indication, it’s gonna be an exciting year in badness!

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We then welcomed in Seamus Dever, star of the ABC show “Castle,” which airs Mondays at 10/9C. Seamus talked about winning the Biggest Nerd Award right before high school, and what it’s like being married to a fellow actor. Seamus, Castle, St. Patrick’s Day… It’s like Irish Bingo in here.

To round out the show, we brought Matt back one more time to help judge our Irish or Naked-ish game, where we saw zoomed in photos and tried to guess whether they were a naked body part… or some sort of Irish stereotype. After the dust settled, we celebrated not having to wear green until next year… By taking everything off.


Monday 3/16/15

Posted in Uncategorized on March 16, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Monday isn’t an oxymoron here in the Mini Mansion! But wait… “Mini Mansion” totally is….

To begin, we talked about social media and its impact on every aspect of our daily lives. Kinda snuck up on us, huh? Anyway, we talked about dating on social media, and how Tinder is now pay-to-lay. Don’t you wish there was an app to satisfy your BDSM needs? Well guess what. There totally is one of those already. It’s called Whiplr and it is a “50 Shades of Gray”-style flirting and hooking-up app where you can video chat without even having to exit the app! Pretty neat. We talked with the CCO of the company that built it and thanked him for his contributions to social media, and therefore society.

In honor of Whiplr, we played a game with our models called Whip It Good, wherein our models “buzzed in” by slapping Amber’s ass with one of their riding crops. We hope “Jeopardy” starts adopting the same method, then maybe we would pay attention. The two finalists got to test their slap skills on Dan’s behind, and really, that’s its own reward.

We took a short break and then came back to fill in our bracket! It’s selection Monday here at the Morning Show, and we wanted to show you the correct way to pick a winner in your highly illegal office gambling pool. Only our bracket didn’t feature unpaid college athletes, but sexual devices, scenarios, and preferences. In the end, it was agreed we should just let revenge sex win, in what we found to be a rather sad champion. Woo?

We then welcomed in Danielle Stewart, comedian and host of the new show “Sex Box,” which airs on WEtv. This might be the best reality show idea we’ve ever heard of, where couples have sex in a sealed box in front of a live studio audience and then immediately get relationship advice. We wouldn’t be surprised if this idea takes off into the realms of therapy and science as a whole. Good job, reality TV. Wow, there’s a sentence you never see. Without sarcasm, of course.

Finally, to close out the show, we ran through our new game Put Your Balls in My Box. With a title like that, I don’t really need to explain much, do I?

Thursday 3/12/15

Posted in Uncategorized on March 12, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Come one, come all, to another festive Morning Show right here in ye olde Burbank, California.


We got the show started, as so many Thursday shows have, with a phone call from Mr. Skin. Skin and his team brought some new nudity to our attention, but also still have their 2015 Anatomy Awards up on their site, which you should definitely check out. It’ll make your anatomy a-hard.

Next, we discovered that we here at the Morning Show are #Trendsetters! That’s right, we’re finally cool enough to warrant a hashtag in our description. Our claim to internet fame? The #PassTheLoad move, which you can use in your home/office/etc. to get punched/fired/etc. Send us your videos with the #PassTheLoad hashtag and we might even put it on the show. Now you too can learn sign language!

We then welcomed in David Anders, star of the CW’s “iZombie,” which premieres on March 17th at 9/8C. If you like attractive, CW-style actors with a dark-comedy zombie twist, this show can finally answer your oddly specific needs! We kept David around for our Zombie Acockalypse game, where our girls demonstrated their post-apocalyptic skills in order to impress hypothetical last name alive David Anders. That sure was a strange sentence.


We took a short break and then welcomed in Lenny Jacobson from Comedy Central’s first scripted sitcom EVER, “Big Time in Hollywood, FL.” Lenny talked about his experience working with such a talented crew and how having a sickness can really do wonders for your weight.


Lenny helped us close out the show, by serving as our “life-line” during Know It or Show It. Our girls were accurately misled and ended up losing most of their clothes before we ran out of time. All good things must come to an end, if you know what I mean.

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Wednesday 3/11/15

Posted in Uncategorized on March 11, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

The only show cooler than the other side of an ice cube, it’s the Playboy Morning Show.031115_04

We kicked off this full hour of live, uncensored, nude-tastic fun by reading some Tweets. That’s right, like the kind you find on the interwebs, not the ones birds make. In an effort to showcase some of the funniest observations and comment on them ourselves, Chloe read us some of the top Tweets from this past week, and we even added our own voice to the mix. It’s our show, we’ll do what we want, dammit!


After that, we brought in comedian Judy Tenuta, accordion aficionado and all-around kooky character. Judy shared with us the tenets of her religion, Judyism, and talked about her new book “Full Frontal Tenudity.” Go to her website to check out more and see the world “accordion to Judy.” We thought that was hilarious.031115_01

While Judy was in, we played one of our favorite games here on the Morning Show, yes, it was in fact time for Name That Alleged Perv. The (alleged) pervs were all women this week, and even harder to pin a crime to. We’re not sure if those two facts are related or not, and we don’t care to find out.

We took a short break and then welcomed in music producer Borgore, who is a pioneer in both the dubstep and gorestep genres, making sick beats and fat drops that all the kids really seem to enjoy. Borgore talked about the history of dubstep and his place in it, and the history of Miley Cyrus and his place in her… career.

To close out the show, we played our DJ-themed game Turn the Tables, where our girls put their clothes on the line against their club-related skills. Put your bras in the air, and wave ‘em like you just don’t care.

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Tuesday 3/10/15

Posted in Uncategorized on March 10, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Welcome to another wonderful Playboy Morning Show, straight from our Mini Mansion to your heart.


We started things off today by showcasing a brand new model, Christy! Since she’s new to the show, we gave her a royal welcome, complete with a few tips from our more seasoned vets. Important issues like how to hold a microphone so that it doesn’t block your boobs, how to twerk, and how to tell a sexy story were all covered, and our girls weren’t, which makes for one sexy, informative segment.

After that, we talked via Skype with our very own Miss March 2015, Chelsie Aryn. Her issue of the magazine is out now, and you need to check out the is German/Japanese beauty for yourself. You’ll thank us after. To get to know this Playmate better, we played a Playmate Pick Six with her, where she picked numbers that corresponded to questions and had to answer six correct to make Morning Show history as the first Playmate to get a perfect score. We didn’t doubt her for a second.


We took a short break and then came back to welcome Nadia Lee, a photographer whose recent “100 Naked Women” project is making waves for its risque nature, provocative content, and nude subjects. She talked about what drives her to the retro style and advertising logos, and you know, we never expected such a stirring look at Americana from a Brit before, but hey, we ain’t gonna argue with art.

To round out the show, we presented 4 candidates who could possibly be the 101st Naked Woman for Nadia’s project, as our models showed off their 50’s-style alter-egos and their 50’s-style dance moves. It’s like a sock hop, where everyone’s only wearing socks.

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