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Monday 9/28/15

Posted in Uncategorized on September 28, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s a Monday, but don’t worry, the Playboy Morning Show has the goods to make it better.

Our week began with a quick look at how Dan and Andrea are doing with their NFL picks. Even though Dan is picking with his brain and Andrea with her boobies, they’re both not doing too hot to start the season. But there’s still plenty of football to be played! Tonight, both of our intrepid hosts have picked the Packers to win at home over the Chiefs.

After that, we played a special Rate the Trait: How Mad Am I? Edition. Our girls ranked seemingly innocuous phrases by how much rage is bubbling under the surface. The top pick was “Wow.” So, men, if you hear that word, you done screwed up.

Next, we talked via Skype with Klia Crisafulli, who is holding a giant auction of ventriloquist dummies in Seabrook, New Hampshire. Before you laugh, just know that some of the dolls are expected to sell for tens of thousands of dollars. So who’s the dummy now?

Up next, we heard some letters asking for advice from viewers like you, and then our models and Andrea¬†gave them some sound, thoughtful advice… which was all shattered when Dan threw down some TOUGH LOVE at their whine-holes. Sometimes the love we need the most… is the toughest love of all.

We took a short break and then came back with our special guest, Kate Quigley, host of “Undercover,” right here on PlayboyTV Saturdays at 10 E/P. Kate helped us put some words to some rather funny-looking pictures in our Dick Pics game. Phallic shaped objects are everywhere, if you just know how to look.

To close out the show, our models came in and played our favorite fake Japanese game show game, Blew Balls! You know you’re doing it right when you’re out of breath.

Thursday 9/24/15

Posted in Uncategorized on September 24, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Netflix and Chill? How about Playboy Morning Show and screw!

Speaking of Netflix and chill (the go-to hookup move of our lazy culture), we thought it might be fun to test Dan’s knowledge of the slang terms of the day. Is he out of touch, or is timely vernacular getting harder to understand? Maybe that’s just a part of getting old. RADICAL!


After that, we rolled through the Mr. Skin minute and saw some of his pics for the week. It’s always a nice reminder that nearly every movie star has been nude at one point. Thanks, Mr. Skin.

Next up, we brought in comedian Kevin Shea to play Friend Zone with us. Kevin participated in some scenarios, and the models judged whether he could escape the dreaded black hole of the friendzone, or if he would be trapped there forever. Kevin proved why comedians are really quick on their feet: to get with ladies.

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After a short brake, we brought in our second guest for the hour, actor Dash Mihok. Dash also goes by Diz Mihok when he’s rapping, and you can get his new single “Love” free from his website. Dash chatted with us about his lifelong love of rap music, and what it’s like working on one of the best shows on TV, “Ray Donovan.” Acting is kinda like rapping, just with less dank beats.

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To close out the show, we played Just a Dash, where our models showed off their rapping skills, their posing skills, and their Shakespearean acting abilities. In the end, Dash handed out some shirts to the girls and they danced us into Friday. Stay strong friends, and we’ll see you next week.


Wednesday 9/23/15

Posted in Uncategorized on September 23, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Welcome to the Playboy Morning Show, Population: 69.

We started our show off today with a nice lesson in Bediquette, where our girls took to the sheets and laid down some ground rules. The talk steered itself toward nipple play, and lucky for us, we even got a nice little demonstration.

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After that, we brought in our first guest for the hour, comedian Nick Swardson! Nick brought his fancy mustache down to our couch to talk about his new movie “Hell & Back”. It’s not often we get to see some animated films brought in to our show, so we relished the opportunity, especially with a cast this awesome. Go see it when it comes out, we’re sure Nick would appreciate it.


In honor of Nick’s new comedy special, entitled “Taste It!”, we played a game of the same name, where Andrea fed fruit to our blindfolded babes and they had to describe it and then guess what it was. You’d think banana would be a gimmie. You’d think that you’d never confuse something like that with a grape. You’d think wrong.

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After a quick break, we welcomed in our next guest, Curtis Young, rapper and son of Dr. Dre. Curtis has a new video out for his song “Jaded,” which you should check out on his YouTube channel. Curtis talked with us about growing up in Compton and how it felt to find out that his father was such a legend, both in his community and around the world. As Dan put it: it’s like finding out your dad is Batman.

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To close out the show, we had our girls come in to try and Shake the Haters Off. Since the dawn of social media, there have been haters, and models and rappers know that they come with the territory. As the music played, our girls did their best to try and get those pesky dislikes to fall off. Can you say BLOCKED?

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Tuesday 9/22/15

Posted in Uncategorized on September 22, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Welcome to the Playboy Morning Show, where too much is never enough!

We began things around here this morning by talking about some of Playboy’s Sexiest Cities, straight from the mouths of hot girls who have gone there and gotten it there. You never know, a trip to a new place could be the catalyst for some new romantic fireworks… just make sure you pack lots of clean undies.

Then, we brought in our first guest for the hour, voice actress/singer/actress/generally awesome person E.G. Daily! She caught us up on what’s going on in her busy (single!) life, mainly her headlining show at the Whisky A-Go-Go in Hollywood. And there’s also the small celebration for “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure”‘s 30th birthday, can’t forget about that.

While such a talented voice was in our midst, we saw if our girls could give life to a character of their own creation in our Sock It to Me game. The girls made up their sock puppets and then put them on and gave them a voice. Talk about lucky socks.

We took a break, and then brought in our next guest, comedian Shane Mauss (pronounced “moss,” in case anyone was wondering). Shane talked about his new album, “My Big Break,” where he recounts the story of how he broke both of his feet and had to live in his parents’ basement for months. The real lesson here is never exercise.

To close out the show, we played a little Top Tweets vs. Top Teats, where our girls put their tits up against Shane’s wits in a battle for Twitter greatness. Leave the jokes to the comedian, and leave the selfies to the models.

Monday 9/21/15

Posted in Uncategorized on September 21, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

The Playboy Morning Show is like a fine wine: it only gets better with time, and also helps if you chug it.

Our old friend Mark Long is stepping in for Dan today, and he and Andrea chatted it up as if no time had passed at all. That’s true friendship.


We started this week of shows off with a little Fuck of the Draw, where our girls picked out scenarios out of suitcases and had to see if they would sleep with the person involved. We got all yeses, which only further proves the point that vacations are the ultimate aphrodisiac.

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Next, we brought in the band Highly Suspect, to talk about their new music video for their song “Lydia,” and about their upcoming tour dates across the pond. The life of a rock star is a tough one, but only if you like sleep.

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Our music friends know a thing or two about tattoos (they’re covered in them), so we decided to play a game of Lady and the Tramp Stamp, where they guessed which of our girls has ink on her lower back. After a strict line of questioning, our girls revealed themselves and only our new girl Tessa was the only one with a tramp stamp. We think tattoos are sexy, but we also think pretty much everything is sexy.


After a quick break, we brought our models back in to talk about sex with your ex in our Hot Girl Focus Group. Let’s be clear about this: it’s a bad idea… but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.


To close out the show, we played some Know It or Show It, with questions pertaining to our guest host for the day, Mark Long. Our girls tried their best to keep their clothing, but if there’s one thing we’re good at, it’s confusing people. Real life would be a lot more interesting if we lost clothes when we got confused.

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Thursday 9/17/15

Posted in Uncategorized on September 17, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

This show’ll get you hornier than a narwhal at a unicorn convention. It’s the Playboy Morning Show.

We began this here show today with a quick Robot Sex Update, which was hand-delivered to our hosts by a real robot! Just don’t look at it below the waist.

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Next up, we chatted with Mr. Skin about the nudity coming to our eyeballs this week, and also what we can expect to see in the future (once we buy some choice Blu-Rays that is).

Football season is back in full swing, and that means more Lick ’em, Stick ’em, and Pick ’em with Andrea and her magic picking nips. They got some ink on them today, but don’t worry, they’re gonna be ok.

Staying with the football theme, we held another Playboy Fantasy Picks game, with our models teaming up to show off their skills on the gridiron. Tackling, passing, and kicking that pantie field goal were all put to the test, and they passed with flying colors. Hopefully they don’t get concussions.

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After a quick break, we brought in our guests for the hour, David Faustino and Mark “Keitel Jr.” Lowe, from the Old Scratch Radio show on Dash Radio. Their show airs Sunday nights at 5pm PST, so pick up that app or go online to hear some great old school hip-hop and whatever else they feel like playing that day. There’s no rules, just like in the Mini Mansion.

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To close out the show, we honored the Republican Presidential Debate from last night by playing some very topical Beaurocrat or Busey, where we heard an outlandish quote and have to attribute to either a politician or everybody’s favorite coo-coo bananas actor Gary Busey. This game is impossible to win with any sort of skill, it’s all just dumb luck. And on that, you can quote me.

Wednesday 9/16/15

Posted in Uncategorized on September 16, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Mexican Independence Day, everyone! Viva Mexico! Viva el Playboy Morning Show!

We started our show this morning by tackling some political issues in our Master Debaters segment. Our girls came in and spouted off their own personal party line, which may or may not involve actual partying. All we know is that they definitely get our vote next year (and every year).

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After that, we checked out a brand new #WedgieWednesday video, this one featuring a shirtless Dan as a mermaid. Merman, excuse me. So if you’ve ever really wanted to see that, go check it out.

Next up, we welcomed in our first guest for the hour, actor Ethan Peck. Ethan and his sultry voice are starring in a new movie called “Eden,” which comes out in theaters September 18th. As the grandson of legendary actor Gregory Peck, it took all of our might not to quote “To Kill a Mockingbird” at him. We do have some manners.

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Since Ethan’s film involves him and an entire soccer team being stranded on a desert island, we stranded our girls right here in the Mini Mansion and simulated some important survival skills like making fire, building shelter, and posing seductively for a calendar. All of these things are good to know, especially in a life or death situation.

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Coming back from break, we brought in our second guest, Miss September Monica Sims! This sultry Playmate talked with us about her life, and her love of pirate-y looking men, so if you’ve got a eye patch, peg leg, and parrot, today’s your lucky day! Although she probably means more in the Johnny Depp style, rather than full-on Blackbeard.

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To close out the show, we played a Playmate Pick Six with Monica, wherein she became the first Playmate ever to get all 6 questions right! Our girls came in and helped her celebrate as the show drew to a close. We’ll be back in 23 hours, so find something to do until then.

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