Thursday 4/16/15

Posted in Uncategorized on April 16, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s #ThirstyThursday around the world today, except in the far east… where it’s already tomorrow. Wait, is that really how that works? Wild stuff, man.

It being Thursday and all, we would be remiss if we didn’t open the show with a call from Mr. Skin, that pun/nudity enthusiast that we all know and love. Game of Thrones is starting back up again, and you’d be hard-pressed to find a guy more excited than Skin. We’d be shocked if he didn’t have a whole department dedicated to that show alone.

Then, we hit our Gratuitous Nudity button, and some non-sequitur nakedness filled our studio and then left as soon as it came.

Next, we welcomed in Tom & Dan, radio/podcast personalities who are fresh off their nominations at the Podcast Awards, and we can see why: the only thing mediocre about their show is the title, “A Mediocre Time”. These guys can make anything fun and entertaining, and our girls can make anything sexy, so with their powers combined, they’d be unstoppable. We tried to prove this in our The Greatest Time of All Time Times Infinity segment, where the guys read boring sentences and our girls tried to sex them up. And sex them up they did, sometimes to a confusing level. When you’re so turned on, you’re confused, that’s a good sign.

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We took a short break and then brought in rapper and hip-hop artist Problem, who’s here to promote his show at the House of Blues right here in LA on 4/20. If you don’t know where that is, just follow the cloud of smoke sure to be emanating from the venue, you can’t miss it. Problem’s been busy since he’s last been on our show, making music and videos and mixtapes, so he could always use some extra help. We had our girls try out to be the Next Hip Hop Hottie, trying out their graffiti tags, rhyme skills, and dance moves. How do you top off a stiff competition street-style? Making it rain, of course!

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Wednesday 4/15/15

Posted in Uncategorized on April 15, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Meow Meow Meow, it’s the Morning Show.

Today’s show began with a sour reminder: it’s Tax Day, everybody’s least favorite government-mandated holiday, narrowly beating out St. Cover Yourself in Leeches Day. But! We felt up to the challenge of making this hated day a little bit better with some sexiness, so we busted out the Tit Tax Toe game and Cody and International Playmate Marissa duked it out. There’s no CAT games when you’re dealing with bureaucracy, unfortunately.

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After that, we welcomed in Miss April 2015, Alexandra Tyler! This month’s issue of Playboy features this beautiful brunette and is on news stands now, so definitely check out her badass Downtown LA Warehouse rocker-girl pics. We sent Mariela in to help Alexandra with her Playmate Pick Six, as she tries for her own place in the history of the Mini Mansion, in pursuit of the perfect 6/6. As usual, I mean… FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER this Playmate got all the questions right and will live on in the hallowed halls of the Mini Mansion forever. Well, she would, if we had any halls.

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After a quick two minute break, we ran through some Raw Data LIVE, that you may or may not have been aware of. Studies show that adding hot girls to random facts and statistics helps make it sexier, and therefore, more fun! The jury’s still out on whether you actually retain the information.

We then brought in actor Michael Rooker, whom you may recognize from little projects like “The Walking Dead” and “Guardians of the Galaxy.” You know, just two wildly successful projects, no biggie. Michael is promoting his appearances around the country at Wizard World Comic Con, where you can meet him and a plethora of other celebs, comic makers, and costumed nerds and ask questions to your heart’s content!

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To close out the show, Michael gave our girls a lesson in Naughty Karate, as he is an accomplished master of self-defense himself. Our “breakable” boards left a little to be desired, but we did actually learn some nice tips and tricks if ever anyone is trying to attack us. So, bring it on, world! Just, be gentle.

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Tuesday 4/14/15

Posted in Uncategorized on April 14, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s the show that’s healthy for your mind, good to your body, and soothes the soul. It’s the Playboy Morning Show.

We started things off by checking out how sex makes you smarter. We’ve been saying it for years, but it’s nice to see science catch up with us (finally). We decided to test our own skills, and yours at home, with a fun game of Mammory, the card-memorizing game. We don’t really recall how it turned out, but we know we were definitely turned on. That counts, right?

We then premiered our first episode of our “Full House” parody, entitled “Full Blouse.” Be sure to check it out on Youtube and tell your friends. Or your internet colleagues. Whatever you call them.

After that, we played a fun, yet slightly sobering round of Name That Alleged Perv. The four alleged pervs this time around came to us from a bunch of different places, all in Florida. That’s not entirely true, but the fact that you almost believed it means it’s not that far-fetched. Oh Florida, never change.

We took a short break and then came back with Kira Soltanovich, comedian and pregnant lady extraordinaire. Kira talked about her new show “How To Be A Grown-Up” on TRUTV,¬†which starts season 2 in June, and about how she had a hand in setting up Dan with his current wife. We were still thinking about the Mammory game from earlier, so we didn’t catch the whole story, but we know it involves the theft of pants. We’ll let you fill in the blanks.

To close out the show this morning, we had all four of our newly-fishnet-bodysuited models come in to compete in a Girls Behaving Badly competition. Kira is a veteran of the actual TV show that our game is based on, so we knew we could count on her expert advice and counsel. In the end, Carlotta championed through, making a clean sweep of all the games on the show today. It’s a perfect show!

Monday 4/13/15

Posted in Uncategorized on April 13, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

We’re back! Fresh off a week of hiatus and ready to bring some nudity back into your life. Didja miss us?

The show got going this morning with the debut of our Morning Show side-scrolling video game. We read about these things all the time in the magazine, and we thought it was high time we made our own dreams come true in a segment called Bits and Ass. Drew and Amber gave the game its inaugural play, and put up some pretty nice scores for their first times. It’s the best use of quarters that doesn’t involve drinking.

After that, we checked out a clip from our first “Full Blouse” parody, which we will debut tomorrow. As a special treat, we surprised Dan with our guest Dave Coulier, aka Uncle Joey from the original “Full House.” Dave’s touring around as a stand-up comedian all over the country, so be sure to check his website for show details. He also talked about Netflix’s revival “Fuller House” that is set to come out soon! We’ll never cut it out, Dave.. we’ll never cut it out.

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Dave stuck around as we played a game of Chicktionary, where our girls teamed up and painted on each other in order to get Dave to guess Full House-related terms. Some were easy to tell what they were, and some looked more like cave drawings. I guess that’s what happens when your canvas moves.

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We took a short break and then came back to welcome in Nico Tortorella, star of the new TVLand series “Younger,” which premiered at the end of last month. Nico talked tattoos (his character and he are both heavily inked), and what attracts him to older women. For someone who’s only 26 years old, he’s sure got it all figured out.

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To close out the show, we played some Know It or Show It, a game where our girls put their clothes on the line, but not to dry. As the models tried their best to answer some trivia about TV, Music, and Pop Culture, we more and more from under the cloth. For the world’s longest-running naked game show, it stays fresh.

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Thursday 4/2/15

Posted in Uncategorized on April 2, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Here comes The Playboy Morning Show to save the day! Or, at least the morning.

This show right here got kicked off with a little Easter Egg hunt, with our sexy bunnies hopping around the room looking for their pastel-colored prizes. Once they all had their eggs in one basket, the girls opened them to reveal an Easter-themed challenge for them to participate in. It’s enough to make even the most ED-riddled man yell “HE IS RISEN!”

Next, we brought in Shelley Fisher, aka “The Hebrew Hillbilly,” to talk about her unique brand of comedy and singing. She also dished about how one becomes a the rootin’-est, tootin’-est Jew south of the Mason/Dixon. We’ve never heard a more soulful “Shalom”. Shelley then performed her song ‘The Hebrew Hillbilly,’ while our topless girls listened on the couch. What do you do at a concert if your top’s already off?

We took a quick break and then came back with comedian and actor Jason Stuart. Jason talked about how his web series just won an award, and what his favorite acting gig has been. We kept Jason in as our referee for our March Badness Final Showdown Matchup EXTREME, between Jenny and Evey. After the jump bra, we launched right into the game, with each lady going for broke in this last test of their general badassery. It was too close to call, so we put them through a quick gauntlet to determine a winner, with EVEY coming out on top, emerging victorious, in other words: winning the whole kit and caboodle. She’ll have her name forever engraved on the March Badness trophy and live on as a Morning Show legend. Until next year, don’t forget: it’s good to be bad.

Tuesday 3/31/15

Posted in Uncategorized on April 1, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

The show so sexy, your TV turns itself on! It’s the Playboy Morning Show.

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We began the show by checking out some cool new products from the Liberator company, whose mission is to make different positions safer for more couples. They’ve built some comfy, ingenious, and varied cushions to help make your sexy time more adventurous. Better cushion, better pushin’, am I right?

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We then checked out some Stupid Human News, where we look at dumb people who did dumb things and then laugh at them. Ironically, it’s a pretty simple concept. But it works!

Next, we ran through the final two rounds of our March Badness Tittle-8, featuring matchups between Carlotta and Evey and Ruby and Gabrielle. Ruby and Evey moved on to the Final Foursome, which begins tomorrow! Our tournament of champions is very close to finishing, which actually makes sense, given the sexiness of their stories.

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We then welcomed in Justin Willman, magician/comedian extraordinaire. His new Comedy Central special “Sleight of Mouth” premieres on Monday, April 6th, and he’s currently on his “FakeBelieve” tour across America. Wait a second… how can he be in two places at once? Unless… he really IS magic!

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To close out the show, we played our own version of Sleight of Mouth, where our girls put the magical quality of their mouths to the test by passing cards, blowing wands, and having a kiss off. This is a situation where you definitely want to put your money where your mouth is.

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Wednesday 4/1/15

Posted in Uncategorized on April 1, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Bad news, everyone. No blog today.

April Fools! There’s totally a blog today.

We started the show off today by showing you all some nice ways to conserve water that still allow you to take long showers. Everything from eating less beef, to not wearing leather or buying jeans can help conserve our most precious H20, all while still giving you the chance to enjoy someone taking a long, hot shower. That “someone” could be you, or a friend!

After that, we welcomed in Playmate Angel Boris, who is our Miss July 1996 and current host of the Playboy Radio show “Funny Bunny,” which you guys should definitely give a listen. It’s an ear-gasm waiting to happen. Angel talked about her place in the Playboy family and her acting work on shows like “Beverly Hills: 90210.” We find her name to be very fitting.

We kept Angel around to help us judge the first battle in our March Badness Final Foursome, between Evey and Ruby. Andrea and Angel agreed that Ruby should come back, while Dan stuck to his guns and picked Evey. Some tense words were shared, and Andrea stormed off…

We came back from break with Angel graciously agreeing to step in for Andrea, before we mercifully revealed that it was all an elaborate April Fool’s Day prank. Angel is the best for being such a good sport, and judging by some of the phone calls we got, some of you forgot to check the calendar today, too.

Our show resumed as normal for our second March Badness Final Foursome showdown, between Jenny and Zoey (who was on the phone). Jenny won in another blowout, thanks once again to her shamelessness in front of her family. That means tomorrow’s match will be for all the marbles, and the fabulous March Badness trophy. Come on back to see Jenny take on Evey for the crown of Baddest Girl on the Block 2015.

We then brought in Ash Avildsen and Bizzy Bone from the new film “What Now.” Ash wrote, directed, and starred in the movie, and Bizzy Bone (who you might recognize from the Grammy-winning group Bone Thugz ‘n Harmony) guest-starred. The movie follows the obstacles that everyone faces while dating in the technological age, and it looks hilarious, so check it out starting on April 3rd!

Lastly, our girls came back in to test how well they’d fare in the dating pool through a series of tests. Bizzy and Ash then either “Swiped Left” or “Swiped Right,” and if you’re not following these words anymore, congratulations! You’re old.

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