Thursday 11/19/15

Posted in Uncategorized on November 19, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Gobble gobble. Gobble gobble gobble. Gobble gobble. Playboy Morning Show.

We started our last show before the Thanksgiving break by checking out how to project confidence at work. We’ll have to test some of these out next time we’re walking by the models who make this show run. Our models came in and played If You Know What I Mean, where they put together a mad-lib-style sentence and then gave it the confidence it needs to succeed. It really is all about HOW you say it, not WHAT you say.

Next up, we picked the football games for this upcoming weekend, with a little help from our Odds-maker Hottie, KellyInVegas! Kelly skyped in and talked football with us, before weighing in on Dan and Andrea’s picks. Place your bets now!

We then checked out a very festive Thanksgiving edition of Howe To with the Howe Twins, where they showed us how to prepare a turkey. Try this recipe at your own risk.

Every one of our models came into the studio to tell us what they’re thankful for, reminding us of some things that we should never take for granted: the doggystyle position, Hitachi wands, and pussy. Among other things.

After a quick break, we brought in artist and toy-reconfigure-er The Sucklord, to talk about his art and how one gets into the bootleg toy industry. Oh, and we had a few questions about the name, too.

To close out the show, our girls came in and made some bootleg sexual toys of their own, with Drew taking home the victory with her guy-on-lizard-on-guy doll. Don’t look for this in your local Toys r Us.


Wednesday 11/18/15

Posted in Uncategorized on November 18, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Time to split this week wide open! It’s the Playboy Morning Show.

We continued to have our intro model Give Thanks, and today Ali Rose thanks the universe for her boobs. We were right there with her.

After that, we checked out a new study that showed “relationship deal breakers,” where men and women were both polled on if certain undesirable traits would warrant a breakup. Our girls each picked a symbolic prop off our table to signify which trait they’d most likely dump a guy over, and let us just say… it’s a hard choice between a lady and your video games, so do what you think is right.

We then welcomed in our first guest for the hour, legendary MMA fighter and color commentator, Bas Rutten. Besides recently being inducted into the UFC Hall of Fame (the first European in the hall), Bas is stretching his acting and commentating chops, as well as being an excellent cook and husband. C’mon Bas, you’re making the rest of us look bad.

We then played Mixed Marital Arts, a game where our girls broke boards based on whether or not their fictional marriage scenarios were going to work out. Thanks to some good insight from Bas, it seems like these ladies know the right moves to karate chop their problems away.

After a quick break, we brought in our next guest, founding member of the band Chicago, Lee Loughnane. Lee plays horns for the group, and has since they started almost fifty years ago! They’ve sold more records than any other American band, according to Billboard, and they’re still touring to this day. Between these guys and Tommy Chong, maybe there’s something to this weed thing.


To close out the show, our girls played Your Song Tit-les, where they acting out the titles of Chicago songs as Lee tried to guess. The score was something like 25 or 6 to 4. So, pretty lop-sided.

Tuesday 11/17/15

Posted in Uncategorized on November 17, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Friends, humans, countrymen, lend us your eyeballs. We’ll give them back, we swear.

We started off the show by continuing our week-long Giving Thanks marathon, today having Reyna tell us all about how much she’s grateful to have all the different sex positions. Nothing says Thanksgiving quite like turkey style.

We then checked in on how well Dan and Andrea picked last night’s football game, and Andrea may have some life left in those pickers yet!

Switching gears to a different sport, we talked fighting for our Hot Girl Focus Group. Does it turn them on as much as some meat-head guy stereotypes would have you believe? That doesn’t seem to be the case. Unless of course it’s to defend her honor. Chivalry isn’t dead!


Our girls then flexed their own punching muscles in our Knockers Out segment, throwing their best hay-makers against poor inflatable Dan. We don’t know whether to pity the doll or feel jealous.

After a quick break, we welcomed in Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz, two stars of the reality show “Vanderpump Rules” on Bravo Monday nights. They talked about being famous while also having to go to work, fighting amongst the cast, and Tom Sandoval’s latest song from his band Charles McMansion. If you’re ever in West Hollywood, drop by the restaurant, they LOVE it.

To close out the show, we brought out our girls to play some Truth or Bare. We figure that the guys must know a thing or two about sniffing out lies from being involved in a TV reality show, and they didn’t disappoint. Well, our girls got naked anyway, that’s really all we can be sure of.

Monday 11/16/15

Posted in Uncategorized on November 16, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Good morning from everybody here at the Playboy Morning Show. We can’t think of a better way to stick it to the extremists of the world who seek to divide us than tuning in. Best part is, they’ll probably be super pissed off.

We started our peaceful, naked show this fine morning by giving thanks. It’s that time of year again, and what says Thanksgiving more than being grateful for your great nipples. We’re grateful for them too.

After that, we checked out how Andrea and Dan AND our Vegas Odds-maker Kelly did picking the football games from this weekend. It was a tough week on everyone, and things really shook up in the NFL, so the jury is still out on how having Kelly’s insight will help Andrea’s titties pick better. Until then, hold tight.

Next up, we talked via Skype with skier Ian McIntosh, whose recent video of his 1,600 ft. tumble down a mountain has caught the attention of the national media. Miraculously, he survived with only scrapes and bruises and was back out on the slopes in two days time. We definitely would’ve called it quits.

In honor of this death-defying incident, our girls played Flash Before Your Eyes, where they flashed their boobs to buzz in and answer survival-type trivia questions. If that was the last thing we saw, we’d be ok with that.

After a quick break we brought in our next guest, legendary comedian and marijuana enthusiast Tommy Chong. Tommy talked with us about his early days in one of the first punk bands ever, and his recent victory over two types of cancer. He’s really putting that medical marijuana card to good use.

To close out the show, we put our girls down on a giant bean bag and had them expound on ways that weed could change the world in our Weed ’em Out segment. World peace really is only a toke away.

Thursday 11/12/15

Posted in Uncategorized on November 12, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Our show today is packed to the brim and fit to burst, so let’s not waste any time with intros.

The Playboy Morning Show kicked things off today with a quick look at some crazy nude news stories from around the world, in our Good Naked/Bad Naked segment. Our girls did their best to turn a story about a pool distraction robbery into a sexy recreation. Nightly news, take note!

Mr. Skin called in and took us through a very fine week of famous nudity indeed. Sarah Silverman and “the Knick” were featured, and Skin showed once again why he’s the leading name in celebrity skin.

We then crammed our couch with four stars of the new “Funhouse Massacre” film. We had Clint Howard, Sebastian Siegel, Erick Chavarria, and Mars Crain all come in and talk about the horror/comedy flick, which hits theaters tomorrow, (appropriately) Friday the 13th. We had our girls come into the studio to try and give our guests a scare for a change. The scary stories sure seemed to scare the models, at least.

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We took a quick break and then came back with some Lick ’em Stick ’em and Pick ’em for the football games this weekend, and we even had some professional help via Skype with KellyinVegas, a professional handicapper and hot chick! She gave her own professional insight into Dan and Andrea’s picks and will hopefully get them back on the right track.

To close out the show, we had Dan and Andrea go through yet another Playboy Fantasy Picks, where they each picked two models to compete in some sexy tackling, touchdown dancing, and the pantie field goal. It’s good!

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Wednesday 11/11/15

Posted in Uncategorized on November 11, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s a beautiful day in the Play-borhood, so come on in and take off your shoes… and pants…

We started things off today by once again talking about face tattoos, and we realize we’ve been a little harsh on all the ink-faced people of the world. We decided to really put the idea to the test by having our models’ faces be our test area. Don’t worry, though, with the magic of computer technology, we were able to temporarily alter their visages, without the life-long risk of unemployment. #noRegrets!


On our latest #WedgieWednesday installment, we took it back to maybe the greatest movie of all time: The Godfather. Did our wedgie video live up to the original? We’d like to think so.

Then, Dan and Andrea played Politic or Lunatic, where they heard a random quote and had to guess whether it came from the mouth of a politician or someone even more crazed. This is the sequel to our popular Bureaucrat or Busey game, but we were running out of Gary Busey quotes, so here we are. Gary, if you’re reading this, say some more crazy stuff and you can get your game back.

Up next was some Tough Love, where our girls read letters from audience members like you (well, hopefully not JUST like you) and we heard some advice from our models and Andrea, and then some hard truths from Dan. It may not be what you want to hear, but it’s what’s NEEDED. ALL CAPS!


We took a short break, and then welcomed in our guest for the hour, actor and comedian Jonathan Kite, star of CBS’s wildly popular sitcom “2 Broke Girls,” which premieres season 5 this week. Jonathan talked about his first acting gig out here in LA, and was nice enough to do some of his amazing impressions for us. That’d be the best way to get good seats in a restaurant, that’s for sure.

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To close out the show, our girls did impressions of some of Josh’s characters from his past, and boy did they impress! I guess that’s why they call them impressions, right?

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Tuesday 11/10/15

Posted in Uncategorized on November 10, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Topless Tuesday from the People’s Republic of Playboy (formerly the U ass-ass R).

The show started with a quick re-cap of the Monday night Lick ’em, Stick ’em… football games, with Andrea’s titties getting a strict talking-to from Dan, begging them to shape up the state of their picks. For our own financial stability, we hope it works.

Next up, we checked our Fe-Mail box, answering letters from viewers just like you! Hopefully we accurately addressed any and all questions, comments, and concerns you had, and if not, then write us again, maybe?

We then talked over Skype with Clancy Philbrick, artist and inventor of “Nutscapes,” which combines beautiful landscape photography and the male gonads. Together at last, these two stylistic elements mix to form something new, funny, and brave. It’s everything art should be… with nuts.

To celebrate this artistic achievement, our girls played Nut Up or Shut Up, where they picked up peanuts and tried their best to shoot them into a giant burlap sack that we suspended from the ceiling. Just like your grandparents used to play back on the farm during the depression!

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After our two-minute break, we brought in Playmate Rachel Harris, who is our fresh Miss November for 2015! Rachel talked with us about her art. her desire to be in the public eye, and whether she’d rather date a guy with a face tattoo or a man-bun. The answer mayyy surprise you.

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To close out the show, our models showed off their own painting skills in our Chicktionary game. Rachel guessed, and also took the brush and stroked our nude canvases herself. Artists gotta art, y’know?

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