Wednesday 3/4/15

Posted in Uncategorized on March 4, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s a #WedgieWednesday! Thank God for social media and all its fabulously scandalous hashtags.

We started out the show today by talking about ex’s. Nothing sexy about those ghosts of relationships past, right? You left them in the dust for a reason, right? You’re not still bitter about it at all SHEILA, right?? Ahem. Sorry about that. Well we played our own X-based game, called Exes and Oohs. It’s a lot like a giant, challenge-based tic-tac-toe game, because that’s exactly what it is.

Next in line was a fun segment called Will Andrea Put It In Her Mouth, where Dan showed Andrea some gross foods from around the world and asked if she would eat them. It turns out, for almost all of them, there was no question. This game took a freaky turn when we brought out the chicken feet, squid, and raw baby crabs for Andrea AND Dan to try. Let’s just say: thank god for the Gratuitous Nudity button.

After that, we went to our Skype machine (also known as a computer) and talked with our October 2014 Cyber Girl of the Month, Mandy Kay. She’s campaigning for Cyber Girl of the Year, which is coming up soon, and we can’t help but wonder who would possibly beat her out; with a bootie that poppin’, it’s hard to really hold a thought in your head, you know?

We took a short break and then came back to welcome in Holli and Michael, from Playboy Radio’s own “Swing with Holli and Michael.” For some reason we just like saying the words Holli and Michael. We are very proud of them, as they are up for a Podcast Award in the “Mature” category, against heavy-hitters such as “Loveline” and “Savage Lovecast.” We wish them the best of luck, and know that no matter if they win or lose… they’ll still have some fun in Vegas for the ceremony.

To close out the show, we played a swing-based game called The Full Swap, where our girls paired up to swing dance with each other, only to switch an article of clothing when the music stopped. It’s like musical chairs without all those pesky chairs… or bras.

Tuesday 3/3/15

Posted in Uncategorized on March 3, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

We had another Playboy Morning Show hot ‘n ready for you when you woke up. Aren’t we just the best?

This here show got a-goin’ by checking out a recent ranking of the sexiest names for men and women to have. We’re sensing a little cultural bias on this list (but honestly, the beauty of nomenclature is in the mouth of the beholder), so we decided to test it out ourselves on a random sample of our hot models. We know our girls are physically hot, but who do you think has the hotter name: Amy, Erika, or Drew?

After that, we dusted off our ol’ mailbox and checked some Fe-Mails from you, the audience. Thanks to you, we also dusted off our ol’ Gratuitous Nudity Button and got to see some brief naked hi-jinx. We should bring that thing out more often.

Next, we brought in our good friend and funny guy Brad Williams. Brad brought us up to speed on how his life is going and if he’d had any more crazy sexual encounters since we last heard about the woman who told him to give it to her like Knowshon Moreno. Surprisingly, he delivered.

In honor of Brad and his super-successful podcast, “About Last Night” we played a game of the same name. No points for creativity on our end on that one. But! It was still an awesome game where we got to guess what each of our models did during their last sexual encounter, based on a series of three hints. It’s like a game of Clue, but slightly sexier. Clue is, admittedly, already pretty sexy.

We took a short break and then check in with the results of our Playboy Poll: Amy came in first with 66%, Erika in second with 33% and Drew (appropriately) brought up the rear with 1%. But hey, what’s in a name anyway?

We then welcomed in rapper and artist Mickey Avalon, who showed off the painting he did of our girl Lauryn during the show. Pretty amazing, considering he did it in like seven minutes. Mickey talked about his musical journey and his craziest touring experiences, like the time he had to fight a fan onstage. Actually that happened a couple times.

To close out the show we played a game called Wrap Her Up, wherein our girls teamed up to create the best saran wrap dresses out of nothing but clingy plastic wrap and a random assortment of props. Turns out, you CAN make a dress out of literally everything. This game just proved that.

Thursday 2/26/15

Posted in Uncategorized on February 26, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Welcome to another down ‘n dirty episode of the Morning Show! Take your clothes off, unless you want them to get muddy.

We started this fine young morning off with a phone call from our good pal Mr. Skin, who just had his 16th Annual Anatomy Awards. There were some surprises, some no-brainers, and some categories we didn’t even know had enough instances to warrant a category. Guess we weren’t watching closely enough. Check out this prestigious list of Hollywood nudes on his site!

Following that, we brought our girls in to help us celebrate Black History Month (it’s almost over, we know, but better late than never, right?). In the game of Black, History, or Month, each trivia answer had one of those three words in it, and if our sexy ladies couldn’t get the answer quite right, they had to strip down. If the Playboy Morning Show stands for one thing, we’d like to think that it’s the idea that all titties are created equal.

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Our first guest today was none other than Playboy Radio’s Playboy Advisor, Dr. Karen Stewart. For all those little things that you’re too afraid to ask, or don’t know how to ask, or don’t know you need to ask, she’s got you covered! We set out to prove that fact when we invited our girls back in to read some questions from viewers and get a sampling of Dr. Karen’s skills. Who knew learning could be so fun?

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We took a short break and then welcomed in singer Ryan Cabrera, whose single “House on Fire” from his upcoming album is out now. Ryan talked about what it’s like living in a neighborhood after you’ve been on “Cribs,” and the time he got kicked out of the Playboy Mansion for cannon-balling into the pool one too many times. What is it with musicians and getting kicked out of the Grotto?

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To finish up the show, we played a game of (Blank) on Fire, which featured three different rounds of competition where our models competed for an exclusive autographed copy of Ryan’s new CD “Wake Up Beautiful.” They tested their ability to eat hot foods in the Mouths on Fire round, then did a quick change for Blouse on Fire, and finally squared off atop noble steeds for Joust on Fire. In the end, Chloe emerged victorious and was awarded her prize. Thankfully no one burst into flame today.

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Wednesday 2/25/15

Posted in Uncategorized on February 25, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Step right up, step right up! Come see the bountiful babes, scintillating celebrities, and the bearded… man. It’s the Playboy Morning Show.

We started the show off with a nice reality check for Dan. His new comedy album, “Chinese Affection,” which is brand-spanking new and so are the reviews. To soften the blow from some of the harsher criticisms, our girls wore less and less clothes as the meanness rolled in. Between this and the #MeanMemes from yesterday, it’s a wonder Dan has any self-esteem left at all.

Once the dust had settled, we welcomed in Azie Tesfai, one of the stars of the CW show “Jane the Virgin,” which airs Mondays at 9/8c. She dished on her life as a single lady, being ‘bi-continental,’ and her work with 5 different charities. Five! That’s six more than most people.

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After we spoke with Azie, we played a game in her honor called Losing Your Virginity. Our sexy models came in and admitted that there’s things they still haven’t done… and we swiped those V-cards right before your eyes. We had a proposal, horseback ride, feather-filled pillow fight, and a bath for two. Cross those off the ol’ bucket list.

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We took a short break and then came back with a Hot Girl Focus Group, this time around talking about ‘undateable guys.’ Ever wondered why you’re still single? Want to find out what to do to stay single (you never know)? Well, this is the segment for you. Three words, gentlemen: hygiene, hygiene, hygiene.

To round out the show, we played Whole Lotta Love It or Hate It, where our girls guessed whether the lovely Andrea Lowell loves something, or absolutely abhors it. They even incorporated some cute auction-type ping pong paddles to help visualize their choices, how thoughtful.

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Tuesday 2/24/15

Posted in Uncategorized on February 24, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Tuesday to all of you in the place to be, the Mini Mansion, just in time for the Playboy Morning Show!

We started things off today by chatting with our intro girl Ruby Palm, a longtime model on the show and our favorite French export. She even showed us that she has what it takes to go over the top… by winning an arm wrestling challenge. How do you say, ‘I’m attracted to you and scared at the same time’ in French?

After that, we went full internet and made some dank memes. Mean Memes, to be exact, wherein our models and hosts took part in the mystifying art of applying text to pictures in order to make the most hilarious and somewhat angry combination possible. After trying our hand at this, I think we’ll probably just leave it to the “pros” from now on.

We then dug out an oldie but a goodie in Good Naked Bad Naked! We heard some unsavory news stories and decided whether or not the nude antics of the perpetrators was indeed Good or Bad Naked. Our Bad Naked reenactment today featured our girls giving a very extensive body cavity search to a sexy would-be traveler at an airport. We wouldn’t even mind being late for our flight.

Next, we spoke on the phone with “the Banksy of LA,” a street artist who goes by the handle Plastic Jesus. His most recent work (in which an Oscar Statue was doing lines of coke off the street over on Hollywood Boulevard) is causing quite a stir, for obvious reasons. You might also recognize his catchphrase “Stop Making Stupid People Famous” (a cause we can all get behind), or his other pieces from around the streets of Los Angeles. Be sure to check him out at plasticjesus.net. Do you think someone else already took plasticjesus.com?

After a quick break, we brought in comedian Michael Loftus, whose new show “The Flipside” is available online right now! So check it out (after you finish reading this blog of course, right?). Michael also regaled us with stories of the time he was in South Africa with Dan, and what it’s like working with his good friend Charlie Sheen. Nothing wrong with a little tiger blood.

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Finally, since Michael is a Catholic, we decided to play a Lent-based game where our girls teamed up and tried to guess what the other girl would “give up” in a number of different categories. If they got it wrong, you guessed it, they had to “give up” some clothing. I think Jesus would be proud. Plastic Jesus, not the other guy.

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Monday 2/23/15

Posted in Uncategorized on February 23, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

The Playboy Morning Show is back and ready for action! We’ll even settle for sloppy seconds.

Our show began this morning with a discussion about the Academy Awards. The glitz. The glamour. The pounds and pounds of sweet Colombian cocaine. It seems like that’s all anyone can talk about, and we here are no exception, except that we had our own award show that’s just as prestigious as any other out there: The Asscars. We saw trailers for our four nominees for Best Feature, and will give the award out later in the show.

But before we did that, we talked to a person who has more to do with how well celebrities look on the red carpet as any makeup artist, hairstylist, or tailor… that’s right, it’s plastic surgeon to the stars Dr. Raffi Hovsepian. Dr. Raffi talked with us about how celebs stay so young-looking for so long, and what the most popular procedures are when you’re trying to fight Father Time. His tip? Start early, then you won’t have to do so much later. Good advice for life in general, actually.

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After that, we went out to Frankie V on the red carpet, who was standing by with each of our lovely nominees to ask them exactly what they’re NOT wearing today. Sounds like some pretty gorgeous and glamorous items of clothing got left at home this year, they’ve really outdone themselves.

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To bring the mood down a bit, we checked out some of the clothing we’ve lost this year, in a sad, black and white tribute video. If you didn’t shed a single tear, rewind your DVR and keep watching until you do.

Next, it was time for Dan to give out the award for best feature. In an unprecedented event, all four girls tied for the Asscar and began to fight over the golden butt statuette. It was pure chaos, which is the only reason anyone watches award shows anyway.

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After a short break, we welcomed in Adam Green and Will Barratt, whose new film “Digging Up the Marrow” was recently released in theaters and on VOD. It’s part mock-umentary, part found footage, all horror goodness, so definitely check it out. If you can confuse critics as to what genre your movie actually is, we’ve gotta see it just on principle.

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To round out the show, our fine Asscar-winning models came in to compete in our Scream Queen games, showing off their best scream, scary acting abilities, and death skills. Don’t put any of those things on your resume, trust us.

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Thursday 2/12/15

Posted in Uncategorized on February 12, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Well gol-ly, look at what we have here! It’s the Playboy Morning Show, boys, yee-haw!

The show began today with our ladies helping us to decipher which nightmare Valentine’s gifts were real and which were fake. The fake ones turned out to be way less worse than the ones that actually happened, proving that men are just awful gift-givers. A half-eaten bag of M&M’s? C’mon man.

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After that, we talked to Mr. Skin about all the nudes gracing our screens, both big and small. Our friends from “Black Sails” showed up again, and we’ll keep an eye out to see if they can match “Game of Thrones”‘ epic nudity-levels.

Next, we welcomed in Robert Belushi, son of Jim Belushi and star of the new film “One Small Hitch,” which is out in select theaters and Video On-Demand now! Robert talked about his training at Second City in Chicago and revealed which of his relatives ISN’T a graduate of the famed improv theater. (Hint: not a lot).

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While Robert was in, we wanted to help him hitch up two of our girls in a dating game we called Lezzing Out. Our new girl, Christina Ann, blindfolded herself and asked questions of our three contestants, before getting shown their physical talents by way of touch. Christina Ann chose Katie as her date, and we had a little surprise set up for them at the end of the show…

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Right after we came back from break, we brought in Marissa Janet Winokur, one of the co-hosts of “All About Sex” on TLC. It’s a sex talk show, which also features comedian Margaret Cho, and we’re all about spreading the good news on all other networks, as well. Go get ‘em, girls.

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Marissa stuck around to help us judge our 50 Shades of Play contest, which featured our girls in their best dominatrix get-ups, doing a sexy catwalk, and explaining their “persona” and what their safe words were. Nothing quite like the presence of a dom to wake you up in the morning.

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To close out the show, our lucky Lezzing Out ladies got a Valentine’s Date in the shower, where all truly great dates end (or begin). Happy V-Day, lovers. And happy Netflix All-Day Marathon Day, single folks.

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