Monday 7/6/15

Posted in Uncategorized on July 6, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

If you’re still nursing some hangover fireworks inside your skull from the American festivities this weekend, fear not! Nothing in this country would have ever gotten accomplished without some hair of the dog.

We started the Playboy Morning Show off this week with a quick survey called Rate the Trait. Our models came in and ranked traits they’d like in a mate from 1-10. Confidence, surprisingly topped off the list, with a nice car coming in dead last. And just after I drove my Ferrari off the lot!

Next up, we welcomed in Samantha Acosta, former escort and star of Showtime’s “3AM,” which airs Thursdays at 11pm (don’t get those times switched around). We learned how she went from college graduate to night walker, and about how being on the show is helping her photography and writing careers. You know what they say, when God shuts a door, he opens a back-alley-adjacent window.

We played a game called Es-court with Samantha, where she helped judge a debate between Miranda and Amber, while Evey dressed as Justice watched on. Well, not watched, but… well, you get it.

After a short break, we brought in Jeff Kurr, legendary natural history photographer and shark expert, just in time for Shark Week on The Discovery Channel. Jeff brought in a real shark’s tooth and told us the story of the time he fell onto a 14-foot Great White. Basically, if you met this guy in a bar, you would sleep with him.

To close out the show, we brought in some products for Jeff to look at in our Shark-er Image segment. Sharks only attack people in misunderstandings, and these products are geared toward helping humans and sharks interact in a friendlier manner. Because technology makes everything better.

Thursday 6/25/15

Posted in Uncategorized on June 30, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s the Playboy Morning Show, you know the drill, let’s get to the pictures.

Our lovely show started off this morning with a closer look at some people in life that we wished we could use body doubles for. Plumbers crack looks a lot better when it’s part of a hot chick’s body than some guy named Stan.

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We then chatted it up with Mr. Skin, who talked about Lena Headey’s “Game of Thrones” body double in the last episode of this season. It’ll be a long, hot summer without any sweet “GOT” nudity, but hey, Winter is Coming.

Our first guest of the hour was none other than Travis Van Winkle, star of the TNT show “The Last Ship,” (which has the full cooperation of the US Navy, so that’s pretty neat), and the film “Last Call.” Since both of his latest projects have the word ‘last’ in them, we played a game called Playboy’s Last Call with our models, as they tried to get Travis to convince him to go home with them once the bar lights go on. Not an easy choice.

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After a short break, we came back with our next guests, Miles and Ryan from the band Slightly Stoopid. Their new album, “Meanwhile… Back at the Lab” is out June 30th, so be sure to give that a listen with your ear parts. They talked about life on the road and their journey to get to where they are today (musically, not like, literally on the streets).

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We split the guys up and had them each command a team of models in our Playboy Feud game. Don’t worry, it’s just a Playboy feud, not a band feud. We don’t have enough money to cover the destroyed hotel room.

Wednesday 6/24/15

Posted in Uncategorized on June 24, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Welcome to another Wild Wednesday here in the Mini Mansion, helping you get over the work-week hump since two thousand and something.

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We started today with some new information from our Research and Development Department (or R and Double-D for short) concerning clothing with bottle openers built into them. Our ladies modeled some of the latest lingerie technology, making sure that you’re never too un-dressed for a nice, cool brew-ski. Bottoms up!

Then, we brought in our guest for the show, the extremely funny Margaret Cho. She showed off her tattoos and expounded on how painful some of them were (enough that she couldn’t finish), and talked about her upcoming special “There’s No ‘I’ in Team, but There is a ‘Cho’ in Psycho.” With a title like that, you know it’s gonna be good.

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While Ms. Cho was on our couch, we got her opinion on some sexual practices, in our Hell Cho or Hell No game. Our models also threw down some personal preferences, with Hell Cho meaning yes please, and Hell No meaning exactly that. It’s always interesting to hear the likes and dislikes of our models, and even more interesting to hear their explanations.

After a short break, we came back to mourn the death of the inventor of the pink flamingo lawn ornament by playing a game called Ornie or Horny, where Dan and Andrea see pics of zoomed-in nudity or lawn ornaments, and have to guess what they think each is. The name is a bit of a stretch, but c’mon, cut us some slack.

To close out the show, we took a summer trip to Camp Playboy, where our models sat around the fire, and played classic camping games like Never Have I Ever, Wheelbarrow Race, and… Pie Eating Contest? We wanna go to THAT camp!

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Tuesday 6/23/15

Posted in Uncategorized on June 23, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

It’s the Playboy Morning Show, where titty twisters are punishable by death.

We started the show by using some clay to mold our models’ versions of the “perfect vagina,” (or, as Andrea pointed out, more accurately the “perfect vulva”). We called this segment Kitty Putty, and it’s a direct descendant of our clay dick game, Dil-doh. However, if you ever seen genitalia these colors, just run.

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After that, we checked out another Summertime Just the Tip and then flew right into some Tough Love, with the toughest lover around, Dan. We read questions from you guys, and our models and Andrea rattled off some level-headed advice before Dan took the reins and made those questions his bitch. If you want your question read on the show, and then beaten into submission, hit us up at morningshow@playboy.com!

We then rolled into a game we’re calling Thrust or Bust, featuring the wonderful Thruster toy from Adam & Eve. Our girls demonstrated some of the different vibration settings and thrusting capabilities before then doing their best to find our “G” spots hidden throughout the room before scooping up that big “O”. Check out adamandeve.com for this toy and more fantastic ways to get all your letters going.

After a short break, we welcomed in Dr. Ashkan Ghamavi, Beverly Hills Plastic Surgeon who specializes in a new form of breast augmentation that cuts recovery time down to just 24 hours. He doesn’t even suggest taking pain killers or staying in the house! We wish all surgery could be so easy (and so sexy). But since seeing is believing, we brought in Jodi, a patient of Dr. Ghamavi’s who went from a size C to a DD and you know Andrea just had to have a feel. We’ll take her word for it that it’s the best boob job she’s ever felt (and that’s saying something).

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To close out the show, we played a Battle of the Butts, where our girls’ derrieres were categorized by Dr. Ghamavi, who is an expert in butt types as well. Once they all learned more about their backsides, we had them test their acoustic ability, flattening ability, and jiggling ability. We’ll just call this an Ass-titude test.

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Monday 6/22/15

Posted in Uncategorized on June 22, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Happy Monday, to all you out there in TV-land. We here at the Playboy Morning Show bid you good day.

This particular show began with a quick fashion show, featuring all the hottest new styles in sunscreen to keep you from peeling this summer. Our ladies stylishly modeled the latest trends, and even gave us a lather tutorial. Wax on, whack off.

After that, we brought in Alki David, billionaire entrepreneur and owner of Hologram USA, the same hologram company that brought Tupac to Coachella a few years ago, and hopes to bring hologram technology to the forefront of modern culture. If you didn’t think we lived in the future before, what say you now? Be sure to check out Alki’s documentary about his TV station and crazy billionaire life in the film “Lord of the Freaks,” which is having a red/brown carpet event at the Egyptian theater in LA at the end of the month. Just stay out of the splash zone.

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While Alki was with us, we decided to show off some of our own Hologram Hotties! Our hologram machine brought back Marilyn Monroe, Joan of Arc, Betsy Ross, and Dan’s failed Prom date from high school. Turns out, even though they’re holograms, they still have free will…. We’ll have to work on that.

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We took a short break and then came back with another Summertime Just the Tip for you and your hot, sweaty, sticky friends to enjoy.

We then brought in Briana Ashley, our June Cyber Girl of the Month, to talk about her shoots, and what she’s got planned for next in her career. She even got to make a plea to Hef to see if she couldn’t even get a shot at Playmate. Best of luck, Briana, and if Hef sees what we see, we think you’ve got a good shot.

We then checked out an infomercial video that Briana was part of, along with some of our other models, purporting the benefits of Playboy Boobs. The video starred none other than Raekwon the Chef of the Wu Tang Clan, and if you can’t believe him, then you won’t believe anyone. Check out the video on our Youtube channel!

To close out the show, we played a racing game called the I-Tit-A-Rod, in honor of Briana’s snowy Alaskan past. Our girls split into teams of two and took to the hallway to complete our back-and-forth course to outrace, outwit, and out-sexy the others. Some spills did occur, but when you’re out on the harsh Alaskan planes, that’s only to be expected.

Thursday 6/18/15

Posted in Uncategorized on June 18, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Welcome to a special Thursday edition of the Playboy Morning Show, now with 10% more Vitamin T!

Our fun little show got itself started this morning with a little discussion about Butt Selfies, of course. It’s an important part of any balanced Instagram account, and we observed some of our models in their natural habitats getting their daily dose.

While we were on the topic of selfies, our next guest Lara Cole, is a bona fide expert. She’s the host of PlayboyTV’s “Private Selfies,” which premieres tonight at 9pm ET/PT. Her show gets submissions from tons of prospective girls, and they pick the very best to give their phones or laptops a personal show. No directors, no cameramen, no clothing! That’s the recipe for success.

We then rolled into one more of our Summertime Just the Tips, which serve to help get you in the mood for summer. As if the horrible nightmare memories that were last winter weren’t enough.

Our first guest on the show, Erica Spiegelman, is an addiction specialist and counselor whose new book “Rewired: A Bold New Approach to Addiction and Recovery” is out now! Erica also chatted with us about the current state of “hook-up culture” and how our phones and social media are forcing people on the dating scene to drift apart, and have less success. We KNEW it wasn’t just us!

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As a surprise to Dan, we brought in our models and had a short Skin-tervention with him, to talk about his addiction to nudity. Our models read some tearful letters and convinced Dan to try a stint in nudity rehab at Homely Acres. Let the healing begin.

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After a quick two-minute break, Dan had already relapsed into his nudity problem, and probably is beyond help. Maybe we shouldn’t have had our models be topless when they read their letters….

We then welcomed in our second guest of the hour, “Bar Rescue”‘s Jon Taffer! Jon’s a veteran of our show, and we always love to hear his crazy stories about how he takes the worst bars in America and turns them on the path to righteousness. If you ever need a good talking-to, look no further than Jon. He’s a pro.

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To close out the show, our models came in to play Know It or Show It, the longest-running naked game show in radio and TV history. Our trivia for this round was based on bars, LA rock bands, and mixology. Despite all this, our girls still ended up naked at the end of the show. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

Wednesday 6/17/15

Posted in Uncategorized on June 17, 2015 by Playboy Morning Show

Everyday is Hump Day here in the Mini Mansion. We call Wednesday Double Hump Day. It’s really inconvenient.

The show started this morning with some talk about binge-ing. Not the overeating kind, but the over-Netflix-ing kind. On the top of all the binge-tastic lists is “Orange is the New Black,” and to get people into the spirit of prison, we played some Jail Jargon with our girls. The models gave us some terms that prisoners know, and Dan and Andrea tried their best to guess. It turns out that in jail, all things sound dirty.

We then brought in our first guest, legendary basketball player and coach Henry Bibby. As a UCLA Bruin and New York Knick, he won four championships in four years. Aside from cheating or lying, that’s as good as you can do. He’s also the inventor of DribblePro, a new basketball product that helps teach dribbling, shooting, and rebounding. If you can get those things down, you’ll be a professional basketball player in no time*! (*You also have to be incredibly tall/athletic/etc.)

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In honor of having such a legend in our midst, our girls showed off their own skills in a Topless Dunk Contest. In the end, Cody came out on top of the two rounds, proving once again that doing a cartwheel is always a good idea.

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After a quick two-minute hiatus, we checked in with another Summertime Just the Tip, and if you found it in anyway helpful, may God have mercy on your soul.

Next, we brought in Dr. Buck Parker, trauma surgeon and star of NBC’s “The Island.” Besides having the coolest name ever, Dr. Buck recently was stranded on a desert island by the network television show and left to fend for himself alongside a plethora of other men. Naturally, the topic of masturbation came up, and it turns out that those urges only come about when you’re assured of your continued survival. Go figure.

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To close out the show, we went on a very animalistic Sexpedition with our sexy models, following them as the foraged for food, made clothing out of whatever they could find, and even braved a storm. We sure hope they get rescued soon… Although they’ll probably find a few ways to pass the time.

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