Thursday 2/25/16

It’s the Playboy Morning Show. We need say no more.

This fine show got started with a few Ass-ceptance Speeches from our beautiful models. We saw Evey, Drew, Rachel, and Mariella accept the awards for Sexiest Tattoos, Best Ass, Most Seductive, and Miss Natural, respectively. Those statuettes really compliment their statuesque figures.

We then welcomed in our first guest, comedian Peet Guerico, from the new E! Digital series “Hashtaggers.” Peet talked about his experience working with special guest stars like William Shatner, Kevin Smith, and Snooki, and about how he thinks everybody watching our show should put his show on loop so that they get picked up for season 2. It’s up to you, guys.

While Peet was in with us, we played Know It or Show It, the world’s longest-running naked game show. Our models tried their best to answer trivia questions, all while putting their clothing on the line. Not, like the clothesline, but… well, you get it.

After a short break, we welcomed in our next guests, bluegrass outfit The Infamous Stringdusters. Their new album “Ladies & Gentlemen” is out now, and features some amazing vocals from ladies like Joss Stone, Le Ann Womack, and Joan Osborne. We even got a look at one of the guy’s tye-dyed underwear. Nice!

To close things out for us today, we played some Playboy Feud, with the Stringdusters taking on the G-string dusters. The ladies swept most of the rounds, but the guys eventually tied things up. We had ourselves a hootenanny dance-out to close things off and send us off into the sunset.

As a final note, this will be the last show for the Playboy Morning Show, and we would just like to thank you for watching (and reading here, too) and we hope you’ve enjoyed the ride as much as we have. Keep tuning in to Playboy TV, because we will be back in a new, improved form in a few months! See ya then.

Wednesday 2/24/16

We’ve got a wicked Wednesday show lined up here for you, come on and take a look.

We started things off today with a little well-needed Tough Love, where we read letters from concerned civilians and had our hot models and Andrea give some nice advice to ease their delicate hearts. Then those hearts were torn asunder by Dan’s harsh but honest critiques of their life choices. You asked for it, you got it!

Our first guest for the hour was Jessica Pohly, star of the new Netflix film “Pee-Wee’s Big Holiday,” which starts streaming on March 18th. We talked about her experience on set with the hilarious Paul Reubens, and what we can expect from her bank-robbing character Pepper in the movie. Check it out, for some Netflix THEN chill.

While Jessica was in with us, we played a fun paddle game called Smash or Dash, which centered around sexy choices one could make while on vacation with their significant other. It’s not always easy to decide whether to Smash or Dash, especially in an exotic location. Don’t forget to bring a towel.

We took a short break and then welcomed in our next guest, Katie Daryl, host of the AXS TV show “World’s Greatest Tribute Bands,” which airs Wednesdays at 10pm ET. We talked about some of Katie’s favorite tribute acts she’s seen, what it’s like working at the legendary Whisky A-Go-Go, and the general rush of doing a live show. That’s something we’re very familiar with.

To close out the show, we put our girls through a Rocker Girl Boot Camp, where they put on some sexy rock outfits, posed for their album covers, and shredded on some inflatable guitars. Let’s wreck this Mini Mansion like a cheap hotel room!

Tuesday 2/23/16

Hoo-boy! The Playboy Morning Show is a Ho-Down and Hootenanny all rolled up into one!

Speaking of party time, we at the Playboy Morning Show have learned that recently the Gronk family (of professional football fame) “hijacked” a cruise into their very own party boat. Sounds crazy, but we here at the Morning Show think we can get crazier: with our Boob Cruise, we replicated deck activity Strip Cornhole, which sounds dirtier than it is. But it’s still pretty dirty…

We then welcomed in our guest, adult film star Brett Rossi. Brett has a new boy/girl series called “Delicious,” and the first installment is out now, so check that out. But, make sure you go incognito first.

While Brett was in studio, we had her read the questions for our Skin to Win game. Our models flashed their appropriate body part to answer trivia questions, in a brain-meets-brawn extravaganza. It’s like rubbing your head and patting your stomach at the same time, although this one we don’t recommend you try in mixed company.

We took a lightning fast break before coming back to examine the strange noise heard aboard NASA’s spaceships after they went on the dark side of the moon. What could it be? Jarbled radio frequency? Alien transmission? Hot girls using their naked bodies to play the theramin? Guess which one we tested.

To finish off the show today, we celebrated the invention of the printing press, without which we would never have had the glory that is Playboy. It was invented today hundreds of years ago, and to showcase its great power, we had our sexy girls paint each other and stamp some stencils onto paper with their naked bodies. We’ve come a long way.

Monday 2/22/16

If you only had one shot… one opportunity… one chance to read the Playboy Morning Show blog… would you take it? The choice is yours.

We made Monday better right from the start, with a healthy helping of Fe-Makes: Public Figures Edition. Our models represented different public figures, but put an honest spin on them, which we found quite refreshing. It’s not often that someone tells you that they’re going to screw you over, but when it’s a hot model, we find it a little easier to take.

We allowed Andrea to have a shot at retribution in a Stupid Human News segment, after her showing last week that resulting in a spanking. Today, both she and Dan fared much better, proving that it was just a kink that needed to be worked out. We’re big fans of working out kinks.

In our Talk Dirty To Me game, our beautiful models put on their sultriest voices and did their best to craft phone sex sentences out of random words that we gave them. If you think “Jell-O mold” or “palpitations” can’t be said sexily, listen closer.

We took a quick break and then came back to talk about the allure of powerful men in our Hot Girl Focus Group. Our girls are very down-to-earth, and it’s nice to know that they hold true feelings higher than just dating a guy for his money. You go, girls.

To close things out for us today, we played some Thirst Responders, where we took a look at social media comments and saw if they were good enough that they would warrant a response from our beauties. Turns out sliding into the DM’s is more myth than truth, so keep your emojis at home, guys.

Thursday 2/18/16

We can see the weekend on the horizon! Let the Playboy Morning Show guide you to the calm shore on the other side.

We started the show off today by celebrating what feels like the 1,000th Town Hall of this election year by playing some Politic of Lunatic. Can you tell the difference between quotes said by heads of government and those touched in the head? We certainly can’t.

After that, our buddy Mr. Skin dropped us a line and we chatted about some celeb nudity in TV and film. Good for “Deadpool” for showing us that superhero movies can also showcase some super nakedness. That’s our superpower.

Moving on, we showed off our sweaty side by doing some Sexercise. We saw some seriously impressive displays of sexual strength at play here, and we got tired just from watching. Watch your blood pressure, guys.

After a short intermission, we welcomed in Big Percy and his crew from the Pomona City Movement, a new force in hip-hop music. They talked about their influences in West Coast rap music, what it’s like repping the whole of Pomona, and their new venture into the realm of exotic Brazilian liquor. Talk about an awesome investment.

To close things out, we played The Next Hip-Hop Hottie, where our girls showed off their rap superstar personas, dropped some mad lines (and fat beats), and danced their best rap music video dance. Or as they say in the business, swag, skill, and sexiness. (We just made that up)

Wednesday 2/17/16

Welcome to another fabulous Playboy Morning Show blog. Let these fanciful words be your guide throughout the day.

We started things off this beautiful morning by asking our girls to give us their thoughts on some hypothetical dating profiles. Not everything works for every girl, except if you mention weed and boats, apparently.

It was then time to check our mailbox, which has gotten quite stuffed with letters from you guys, and also some panties that continue to appear week after week, from some unknown source. But props to the postal service for sending them through anyway. Unsung heroes right there.

As we went to our break today, we had some Gratuitous Nudity because why not.

We then brought in our guest for the hour, Donovan Leitch, host of AXS TV’s new show “Breaking Band,” which airs Sundays at 9:30/8:30C. Donovan talked about being the son of some very well-known parents, his time in the band Camp Freddy, and the time he went to New York and worked in fashion for six years on a whim. You know, normal rock star stuff.

To close out the show, we had Donovan judge our girls in the Fuck Me Voice, where they sat on our couch and read un-sexy sentences in a sexy way, and spelled out words in an orgasm-like manner. In the end, Cody was declared the winner, and got to use her sexy voice to promote “Breaking Band.” Maybe a secondary career is in the works?

Tuesday 2/16/16

President’s Day is over, so hopefully you’re happy with your mattress. Test it out while you watch the Playboy Morning Show.

Our show started out with some personality tests for our models… no, not for them, but rather for potential male suitors. In the Ladies Man, our girls drew three traits randomly from the floor and then stated whether or not they’d give this hypothetical guys a shot. Sometimes one bad trait can eclipse all others, like a giant “cries all the time” moon.

In our Stupid Human News segment, Dan and Andrea read some news stories and then tried to guess whether it was in fact true or a story we just made up. Andrea did not have a good showing today, and we employed the help of Noelle to give her some well-deserved spankings. Hard to root for Andrea to do well if this is the outcome, honestly.

We then moved on to a Valentine’s Day hangover edition of our Know It or Show It game, with each of the categories having to do with famous loves and lovers. Just when you think the storm has passed for the year, we rain down some more heart-shaped raindrops on ya. Sorry about that.

After a short break, we welcomed in our guest for the hour, dancer and model Rosa Acosta! Besides being a classically-trained ballerina and fashion entrepreneur, she also happens to be a beautiful model. Some people have all the luck.

To close out the show, our girls ran through a Model Mogul test, where they had to read a line in their best seductive tones, pose for their fitness DVD cover, and show off their best sexy dance move. Don’t forget, like most things, teamwork always helps out when sexy dancing is involved.

Monday 2/15/16

Happy President’s Day! Go out to your favorite monument and throw currency at it.

We started off by having our models show off some patriotic badasses from history, with an extra supernatural twist. We saw Crunk-le Sam, Buttsy Floss, and others, and boy would our forefathers be proud to see their legacy represented in such a sexy way. We’re saluting right now!

We then spoke on the phone with actor Michael Madsen, from the new films “The Hateful Eight,” and “Death in the Desert.” We were super stoked to talk with Michael, who has appeared in over 150 films, along with being a celebrated poet and photographer. He’s also got one of the most recognizable voices in the world, and we can see why. Or, HEAR why.

In honor of Michael, we had our girls play a game of Bra-teur, where they took famous lines of his and re-imagined them with some random words. It’s Madsen-libs!

After a short hiatus, we came roaring back with comedian Al Jackson, who talked about his experiences coming up in the comedy world with our host Dan, and about the time his Instagram handle got someone in some trouble. Check it out and see if you can guess why.

To finish things up today, we played Can A Bunny Make a Funny?, where our girls told some jokes taught to them by Al Jackson himself. They did very well, proving that if Al ever wants to open up a hot model comedy club, he’s got what it takes.

Thursday 2/11/16

It’s our Valentine’s Day show, so cuddle up with the one you love… even if they happen to be a tub of ice cream.

Our first game today was a special Valentine’s edition of Opposites Attract, where our models thrust their heart-covered breasts against our glass case of emotion and tried to pick up as many trinkets as they could. But remember, in the end, it’s not about how many trinkets you have in your bowl, but rather how much fun you had along the way.

We then talked on the phone with Mr. Skin, who just launched his new website. And by just, we mean like an hour ago, so be one of the first to check it out and give their super-sophisticated search engine a try.

Since it is Valentine’s Day, Rachel came in and read a sweet Valentine to Andrea. From our hearts to yours, let’s all buy some cards.

If you don’t have a special someone to share this pink and red holiday with, we have just the thing: a nice video where some hot chicks share what they prefer when being asked out in public. Why take anyone else’s advice?

We took a short break and then came back to welcome in the Katydids, an improv/sketch comedy troupe from Chicago whose new show “Teachers” airs on TV Land. The ladies (who are all named some form of “Katie”) hit the web series jackpot when their show was picked up for syndication, and we gotta say, they’re super hilarious. I guess all of our teachers through the years WERE doing crazy stuff in the teacher’s lounge.

To close out the show, we had a Playboy Feud throwdown between the cast of “Teachers” and our own model students. In the end, the teachers came out on top, but it wasn’t exactly fair…. I mean, they have the answer key.

Wednesday 2/10/16

Welcome to a super PACked Wednesday show here in the Mini Mansion. No political affiliation required!

Our show started off on an educational foot today, with the Howe Twins taking us through how to build a table. They always look well-put-together… the table did not.

Our first guests for the hour were Stevie J. and Joseline from the aptly named VH1 show “Stevie J. and Joseline Go Hollywood.” The couple talked about their transition moving from Atlanta to the west coast, and about how they keep things hot ‘n fresh in the bedroom.

While they were in studio with us, we demonstrated exactly how difficult it can be to balance all the different aspects of life while also being in a committed relationship. Our models did their best to pick things up off the floor while also keeping a ball in the air, which represented their relationship. It’s gettin’ metaphorical up in here!

We took a quick break and then welcomed in our friend Jon Taffer, who is celebrating the 100th episode of “Bar Rescue” on Spike on March 6th. Congrats to Jon on all his success. That’s a lot of bars to shut down, but somebody’s gotta do it.\

To close out the show, our models came in and made some drinks, gave them a name, and showed us a sexy way to down it. Don’t worry, none of these models will be driving after this.