Thursday 5/31/12

Rub and Tugs, Divorce Hotels, Naked Bar-Mates, A Pubic Battle, and Sex Addicts

Born Again Virgins? What a joke.  A reality show is looking for engaged virgins. We didn’t think born again virgins should count because as Kevin put it, “you can just put ‘born again’ in front of anything, and it doesn’t make it so.” Also, how do they cast for this show, with a hymen check? 

Kevin was shocked that a “spa” in Syracuse was busted for being a prostitution ring. He claims that he remembered that “spa” from his college days, but thought it was a real deal spa.  He was upset that he didn’t know what was really going on. 

 

Want to get divorced in style? The Divorce Hotel takes couples who are ready to be single again, and lets them “go out in style.” The GM/Inventor of the hotel says they take care of everything from legal docs to post split celebrations. It’s only in Amsterdam now, but coming soon to a town near you.

Amber Paxton is Playboy’s June BarMATE. She slings booze at The Elevator Drought House in Columbus, Ohio. She loves being naked, having doggy style sex, and says that men have spilled drinks on her on purpose to hit on her. 

The Power Hour:

Mr. Skin joined us for the POWER HOUR before we brought back in our BATTLE OF THE BABES contestants, Cody (landing strip) and Jillisa (No pubic hair), for Round 2 of The Pubic Battle. Last week was a tie so the girl returned to battle it out in a round of physical, mental, and sexual fun. Today they got upside down on THE RACK for the mental round, and ended up light-headed and pantie-less. Once again, the ladies tied, and after a sweet sexual round of girl on girl fun, they will be back here again next week with a 3rd pubic challenger. 

Wednesday 5/30/12

Junk Smelling, Truth or Bare, Wiggle Tests, Erotic Tickling, and Bears. Oh My!

Tosh.0 was more like Playboy Morning Show.2 after he kicked off his new season doing a web redemption for a video that we already redeemed 3 years ago. “Smell Yo Dick” was given a new life again by Mr. Tosh, but Kevin and Andrea brought this song to the mainstream in 2009 by sexing up the video. Take a look at both videos, and you be the judge. 

http://t.co/LmNrMNmx

http://youtu.be/mzyW1QZGNpc

Winner of the Indy500, _____________, was scheduled to call in, but canceled after Kevin and Andrea agreed that men should never pour milk on themselves….NEVER! Guys can pour Gatorade and Champagne only. Girls can pretty much look good pouring anything on themselves (besides Chili).  

The Playboy Adviser joined us to talk about everything from lesbian lust, to ticklish erogenous zones. The theory is that women can’t be turned on and ticklish at the same time. Andrea claims that this is true. 

In today’s erotic edition of FIFTY SHADES OF BLACK, Jaron got our blood boiling with his erotic readings and sexual tips. He taught us that you can call semen “an eruption of pearly white lava.” We don’t think you should. 

The Power Hour:

Jo Koy came by to hang out for Power Hour, and talk about his upcoming Vegas show. He also showed off his $30,000 gold Rolex. Bring in the Ladies!!!! We were joined by Samantha, Katie, and Lindsey for TRUTH OR BARE. The girls were good liars, and ended up costing Kevin, Andrea  and Jo, lots of money. Unfortunately, they were so good at lying that they only got down to bikinis. BOOOOOOO!!!

Tuesday 5/29

Lesbian Utopia, Masturbate-a-thons, Depraved Girls, and Sexy Skypenger Hunt. 

How do you recover from a three-day-weekend of drinking, grilling, and swimming? With us, silly. Andrea spent her weekend getting hit on by “older women.” After taking erotic pictures of each other at a house party, Andrea was getting hit on from every direction by “drunk horny women.” Lucky her. 

After catching up on their weekend antics, Kevin and Andrea chatted with Scott Alexander about Xbox rumors, Facebook Phones, and all other cool things that The Amish hate. 

Turns out that Women hit their sexual peak at 28, and guys hit it at 33. This lead to a discussion about what is a sexual peak, and how is it judged; quality or quantity? 

Women like sex as much as guys…maybe more. The Girls Guide to Depravity teaches women to be sexually liberated and think like men. Tips include “If There’s a Pill There’s a way.” and “Have a Magical Pussy.” 

 

Goon Naked/ Bad Naked was full of nudity, including genital flashing graduates, naked man face eaters, and drunk junk grabbers. 

 

The 12th Annual Master-Bate-A-Thon took place over the weekend. Didn’t participate? You still have the rest of May to celebrate National Masturbation Month.  At this years festivities, two world records were broken; one for speed, and one for distance. 

 The Power Hour:

The power hour began with Joy Glass Sexy Skype-ing, and hiding cupcakes in her panties. Then we filled Andrea’s Hole, before creating a Lesbian Utopia with  @SherraMichelle, @MissRachelShine & @GabbyNena based on the Angry Pastor’s anti-gay sermon. 

After building a fence, and filling with pillows, blankets, and lesbians, we added food, and a very special Lesbian Birthday Pie for our 21-year-old lesbian. Thanks Pastor Worley. Great Idea. 

Monday Car…Toon-Up!

Time to show us what you’ve got!

Give us your best caption for the cartoon below, found in the June 2012 issue of Playboy magazine.

Friday 5/25/12

Henry Rollins, Girl on Girl Cock Fighting, Casino Robberies, Memorial Day Pool Parties, and Fried Chicken. 

Andrea has gone overboard celebrating National Masturbation Month. Two times yesterday? She explained that she will give herself the “wiggle test” to see if she is ready to “go again.” She explained that using two fingers, she’ll wiggle herself to determine if she’s either too tender or ready for round two. Kevin was fascinated by this.

 

We chatted with “Mr. Las Vegas,” Robin Leach, about the recent robbery attempt at The Bellagio. He told us that Vegas Casino robberies are rare, and that even attempting it can result in life in prison. Kevin and Andrea contemplated how they would rob one when in Vegas for the upcoming Topless Pool Tour. 

 

Speaking of Casinos, we spoke with the author of the Playboy article, The Underground Casinos of Paris, about the members-only casinos in Paris, France. Legal or not, they sound like a good time. 

 Before TRUCKING OUR FACE with food from The Ludo Truck,  Henry Rollins joined us to talk about his new show on Nat Geo Wild, Animal Underground. He drank snake bile, cow urine, and went to cock fights. We tried to turn cock-fighting into a sexy competition by having naked girls covered with balloons attempt to peck the balloons off of one another. Henry Rollins said it was one of the more ridiculous things he’d seen. We’ll let you be the judge. 

Andrea ended the show by giving a topless salute to our troops, and introduced her new move, The Topless Grenade Launcher. Have a great Memorial Day Weekend!

Thursday 5/24/12

This morning we spoke with Kerri Dobson, a woman who collected twenty-one post-sex mementos! Kerri shared her thoughts on why she liked to keep these mementos after her sexual experiences with her men. Check out lovesceneonline.com where she also writes her stories.

In the new June 2012 issue of Playboy, Pat Jordan the author of “Armed and Dangerous” told us he is packing heat 24/7. Pat tests the limits of open-carry laws in towns near Atlanta, but according to him, the new spin on gun control is uncomfortable.

After giving Producer Gina many clues on what “Skee-Ball” is, Eric Pavony the co- founder of BrewskeeBall gave her a better explanation! He started BrewskeeBall, the first-ever national skee-ball league and owns Full Circle Bar, the league’s national home in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. He created The BEEB, an obscure sports festival taking place this Memorial Day Weekend to take the childhood game of skee-ball to an unprecedented and unthinkable stage. Now Gina wants to play!

The Power Hour:

We kicked off the Power Hour with Mr. Skin as he shared which TV Series has the most nudity! “Magic City” was rated to have the most nude scenes of 2012!

Jay Larson entered the Mini- Mansion today for some fun. He will also be at The Laugh Factory at 10PM for Laughs, Camera, Action!  If you are in town go see him tonight! While he is awake he is usually telling jokes to other human beings, sometimes they are in the form of an audience, sometimes they are just random people, but he is always making people laugh.

Jaron made his Fifty Shades of Black TV debut today! Kevin and Andrea were disappointed with his sex tip of the day.

We ended the show with a sexy Battle of the Babes Pubic Showdown! Returning champion Cody Cameron’s landing strip took on Jillisa Lynn’s shaved Ladyland! Round one was pretty physical when Jillisa and Cody had a hula hoop competition. Cody had some major hula hooping skills she showed off. Round two, Jillisa and Cody had 11 seconds to answer questions while jumping on a trampoline. It was a tie!

Stay tuned for Battle of the Babes next Thursday!

Wanna come to PLAYBOY PROM??

That’s right! PROM. 

Did you have a horrible prom experience? 

Did your date ditch you for the foreign exchange student? Parents make you come home early? Maybe you had to take your cousin, because no one else appreciated your whole Star Wars idea…

Well, we’re going to make it up to you – Playboy style! 

The Playboy Morning Show and Playboy TV are hosting the First Annual PLAYBOY PROM! We’re giving those of you with prom horror stories the chance for an EXCLUSIVE do-over! Celebrity chaperones, dancing with Playmates, body painted dresses, spiked punch and more…including the first ever live performance from Andrea Lowell’s alter-ego, Lady Gag Gag! 

And YOU could be there! Simply send an email to morningshow@playboy.com and tell us why you need a prom do-over! We’re giving away tickets THIS WEEK, so if you haven’t already sent us your sob story, do it now! 

Trust us. This will RULE. 

Good luck! 

Wednesday 5/23/12

We started off this morning by talking with two of our Playboy Social finalists for May 2012. Nicole and Taryn went head-to-head talking about their experiences so far and why they should win! Visit PlayboyMissSocial.com to cast your vote!

After our sexy make-up artist Gina #2 was finished making Kevin look pretty for Playboy TV, we spoke with Chip Rowe our Playboy Advisor.

Chip was calling from the Museum of Sex in New York  to answer several questions and address concerns our listeners had. One question for Chip was regarding the different styles of pussies and the way they look.  Some have a slit and some have what appears to look like a “Duck Bill Pussy.” Is there an official term for the differences? Chip said yes.

The Power Hour:

We introduced our newest Playmate Miss June 2012 Amelia Talon, who stopped by the Mini Mansion. Amelia loves to be nude and has felt that way since she was 3 years old. Her sexy curves led us into Who Knows a Playmate’s Body Best: Kevin, Andrea or Amelia?

Our tan and big breasted model Danielle Robinson competed against the not-so-shy Aubrey Roe for a round of “Know It Or Show It.” We got to see it all, gigantic breasts, hot bodies, and beautiful women all at once!  Check it out.

Tuesday 5/22/12

A woman was fired from her job at a Manhattan lingerie distributor for being too sexy! Two days after getting hired in April, the supervisor of the business in the Garment District told the woman the owners were not happy. Apparently her boobs were too much of a distraction.

A new Anchorman 2 trailer has been released and is fueling major excitement for the new movie. The trailer went viral this past week, and introduced the world to the men of the famous San Diego news team once again.

On the phone we spoke with Brian Spence, the CEO of the Nudist Clubhouse! It’s time to take a NAKATION at the Nudist Expo 2012 in Vegas. Click here for more options!

We kicked off another exciting Playboy Party Joke Remix… REMIX!

The Jokes included…

-What do you call a blonde upside down?

-What do politicians and bull sperm have in common?

-How is Viagra like Disneyland?

-Why do blondes have bruises around their belly buttons?

The Power Hour:

The Legendary cinema badass Danny Trejo joined us in the Mini Mansion! Make sure to check out his latest film “Ranchero” out on DVD today. Danny will be heading over to Texas in June to begin filming for Machete 2! We give a big thanks to Indican Pictures for bringing Mr. Trejo to the studio!

Danny was not only distracted by our sexy British twins Melissa and Carla, but he also tried his best to reach Robert Rodriguez to put the girls in Machete 2!

Ending the show with Sex Myth Busters, the twins had to test out different types of sleeping arrangements and rate the best for comfort and sex!

Monday 5/21/12

Kevin woke up feeling extra nice today when he brought Andrea a trash bag full of bathing suits. Andrea modeled her favorite one piece that resembled something out of a carnival.

Hef revealed his secret to longevity by eating similar meals everyday. Hef prefers fried chicken, pot roast, and lamb chops followed by his favorite oatmeal cookies! Is that the secret to Hef’s healthy lifestyle?

On the phone we spoke with Ingolf Matthee, CEO of Dornbracht Americas about the new horizontal shower.  For the first time, the horizontal shower permits showering using the ambiance  tuning technique while reclining. The application combines six water bars recessed into a broad shower field above a reclining space.

Before we headed into the Power Hour, Jaron introduced his new way of sharing sex tips for middle-aged women, called Fifty Shades of Black.

The Power Hour:

We kicked off the Power Hour with the writer of Family Guy, and tweeting king of comedy, Alec Sulkin. He joined us for Playboy’s Top Tweets vs. Playboy’s Top Teats – a Tweet-off with Alec and our two lovely models, Desiree and Alyssa!

We brought a new weather girl into the studio, Chelsea Brooke, who gave us a Five Day Filthy Forecast. It was hot! Chelsea and Desiree recreated the Annular eclipse!

Mandii and returning winner Mishka also dropped by the Mini-Mansion to play fandemonium!